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submitted by If you are new to online casino then I suggest that you should go for iOffer I Dough, otherwise known as IDNPoker. The website is very user-friendly, has an interface that is pleasant to use, and has a great jackpot which updates in real time. Eight deposit choices include US dollars. Is iOffer I Do the real deal and why is it the second largest online poker website in the world? This article will try to answer these questions and more. Read on for more information.iOffer is a top poker website which is famous all over the world because of the poker tournaments which it hosts regularly. The poker rooms on the website are mainly based in Europe (where most of the international players come from), but some rooms also have players from Asian countries like Singapore, Malaysia and China. Players from Asia seem to be quite happy with iOffer, as they receive great tips from successful players about their moves. Most importantly, they are able to win real cash/ prize money and thus can earn enough to live on for a while (or at least make enough to cover living expenses).Another unique feature of iOffer I Dough is that it allows its players to participate in live chat with other members of the website. Players can chat about everything from tips to strategies, tournaments and everything in between - something which most online poker sites do not allow. The live chat also gives those players who join iOffer a chance to meet other poker players from different parts of the globe and thus build better contacts and relationships.The most important thing about idNPoker and one of the reasons why it is considered to be the best option by many players is the progressive jackpots it offers. If you want to play online poker in Asia, then you should definitely try out the progressive jackpots offered by iOffer. Here is a brief rundown of what these promotions entail:- If you are a beginner or if you want to improve your gaming skills, then iOffer can surely help you. This poker network offers a variety of games and prizes especially designed for new players and for players who do not yet have the experience with online poker. All the games supported by iOffer are completely free to play. - The website also offers a variety of free games that are suitable for players from all over Asia.- If you are on the lookout for a real deal and not just some hype about the progressive jackpots, then you should definitely check out the Daily Double option. Daily Double is a multi-table tournament that offers players the opportunity to win real cash. This is a lower end option compared to the other options of iOffer like the VIP and Single options. You can earn up to $10 weekly just by playing some of the most popular Rng games like iOffer Blackjack and Ultimate Bet.
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submitted by "*" refers to any changes I have made before uploading this. Pls do take note of the comments below for more info.
So,
u/SteamedChickenRice has made a reddit post on the guide to life of BMT and since I am from Kranji Camp for lower Pes, decided to talk about it.
P.S. was affected by Covid so any misleading details...I am sorry.
He has covered Things to Bring and other stuff So pls refer to
u/SteamedChickenRice as well.
Here is his link if you are in Pes A/B:
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://amp.reddit.com/singapore/comments/acp8bz/steamedchickenrice_guide_on_bmt/&ved=2ahUKEwjQnPGP7NvpAhWNcn0KHSJ4BAcQFjAAegQIBBAB&usg=AOvVaw3sxvrZE4lRYVKq04ZuWnUv So, everyone pls diam, salute
u/SteamedChickenRice and say thank you.
- Edit: Also, for Pes C, I'm sorry because I never kmew you guys have C1-C9 or those who are L9 and I am not as close with any Pes C's at the moment. I'll try my best to edit as much as I can if there are any wrong information.
1.Enlistment day
Where to go:Kranji Camp II
**Take note. A month before enlistment, Kranji camp will ask parents and sons to come to Kranji camp to understand more about Kranji camp. So the enlistment date is the 2nd time you come to Kranji camp.
So, it is the usual same stuff except in Kranji. And guess we are near detention barracks lol, can you hear the doggies???
You will be placed in either Alpha and Bravo company. You may also hear Charlie company but that will be said later. You will need to do a questionaire at the beginning of the camp, to indicate any problems like financial, emotional, relationship, etc followed by an interview to understand the situation better.
2.Daily routine and Regimentation.
Usual day will go like this: Reville(0530 approx.) >Fall in(10 mins after* reville)>Breakfast>Area Cleaning>Fall in>Training/Admin>Fall in>Lunch>Training/Admin>Dinner>Last parade( talk abt routine ordeschedule for tmr)>Night snack(only for 1st week)>Admin>Sleep at 2230.
You always will have your "essentials": Notepad, bandage(the green color pillow looking thing), pen, permenant marker, thermometer,11B card(aka green IC). Bring it with you at all times even to the cookhouse.
In BMT, this is how it goes. You will have 4 weeks of soldiering phase(includes outfield for Pes C) + 5 weeks of vocational training.
By the way, you will keep hearing this word. "Excuse". Excuse literally means nonsense but also mean medical condition. E.g. Excuse Sunlight,Heavy load,Diving(er...even in pes e9 ppl?), uniform, running,jumping,sitting down,weapon, grass, skin?...I have seen people with multiple excuses before. People with excuse sunlight, have to stand in shade not with the rest of the people during fall in. People with excuse uniform are going to wear admin tee and shorts instead of uniform. Sadly, those with skin problem do not escape area cleaning for toilet so try ask others to help you instead.
To know what is your "excuse" visit the safhealth portal: safhealth.gov.sg
3.What happen for soldiering phase?
- Arms presentation and simulation of SAR 21 (Only for selected people and all of Pes C. Note that for Pes C, you will be actually going to the simulation AND live firing range and will be tested unlike Pes E, where they have to do it in a simulation room and it is not tested.)
- Grenade throwing and Outfield for Pes C which I am not going to be specific about cus nvr been there b4
- Being escorts for the POP parade of the previous batch before you for (Pes E9 but depends)(Walao liddat lah, show off you POP while we die in BMT >:( )
- Auditions for MDC(again selected but you can be try out if not selected but trust me it is very competitive. In case no one knows, MDC is Music and Dance Company and you will need to go to Nee Soon Camp and you can only audition for one of the following:Artiste(most common), Musician, Pioneer and Technician(least common) if only there were reddit posts about MDC sad :( )
- CPR(not for pple with back problem) ,First aid, How to do Stand Search and other search, Assembly in Multi Purpose Hall/Lecture etc.
- PT, Sports and Games and Swimming will happen every week. In fact, some would feel old being a Pes E9 lmao. I swear, 2 rounds walking on the track vs my friends from Pes E1 running around. Followed by stretching. P.S. because of this, most Pes E9 people end up being ill.(I think once you enter you will know what I mean).Also, they get to watch Ah boys to men and Army Daze when they "fall ill". Hello? What?
- Enhance Life skills/Online Learning(seperate portal)(totally useful......er....depends on how you see it.)
- Marching(you will also need to march to cookhouse and other situations. Also,pls sing during marching.)
4.Vocational Training
This is where on the last day on the 4th week, you will be going to different places and seperate.
Pes E vocations: ASA, Security Trooper, Storeman, Ammo ops(yes, I have heard pple in pes e go there b4) and Transport(I also have heard of Pes E going to transport),amry intel*
Pes C: everything in Pes E, medic,etc (idk what else I am sorry I only know those from Pes E)
For those smart ones, they will ask where is MDC? Note that even though MDC is a vocation, all selected MDC people have to go thru ASA vocation training first, and CANNOT BE IN OTHER VOCATIONS. Also, you will not know whether you are in MDC or not, not even the commanders are even allowed to tell recruits.
Note: This is where I actually tell you what is Charlie. Charlie is for ASA people. Charlie is the only company in BMTC V with a vending machine. Also, pls get SGrean friends, esp for those in international schools as you have to sign a G50 form which includes friends/people from SG citizen or PR and cannot be family members(you can ask your section mates but some may not want to be)
5.POP parade.
So, everyone comes back to Charlie company and practice for POP on the last parade. Throw cap and stuff. Your POP occurs in the Motorised Infantry Training Institute (MTI) parade square. And then you will be sent off home for 1 week before going to your units. It is sad cus you will say goodbye to your BMT mates.
6.What is the difference btw Pes A,B,Cand Pes E BMT?
- Pes E and C BMT has 1 week of confinement. Not 2 weeks of confinement.
- Pes E BMT has less outfits to wear, (Never worn a Load Bearing vest before) mental punishments but they tend to not be physical (e.g scolding/stand by universe or late bookout/admin time). So, pls do not piss your sergeants off.
- Pes C BMT has 2D1N* outfield, grenade throwing and actual live firing. Pes E has only simulated firing at SAFTI and it is not graded, no outfield and no grenade.
- Pes E has to learn the following commands (Sedia, Semula, Senang diri, Hentak Kaki, Keluar Baris, Dari kiri Cepat Jalan, Kekanan/kekiri pusing, Berhenti, Kekenan Lurus, Hadapan Pandang, Dari Kanan Bilang, Diam, At ease). Pes C have to learn more (e.g. turn while marching, etc.) I say this, because this is less than what Pes A and B recruits will learn from beginning.
- Pes E and C have vocational training DURING BMT while others have vocational training AFTER BMT(depends I think)
- Pes E and C have chance to go audition for MDC/Marching band during BMT, Pes A and B don't have chance of being selected to audition DURING BMT. Yes, I said SAF Marchinf Band. I am not sure what requurements you need for SAF Marching band. (*For Pes A and B, I think I have to state the reason which I heard from a lot of sources, was due to allocation and manpower of combat vocations. However, I have heard of people trying it though. Only thing I could say is, legit ask your superiors about MDC if you are interested.)
- Pes E9 do not have fartlek. Not sure about E1 and C but only heard fartlek from my army friends from Pes A and B.
- Pes E9 will not be taught swimming or even touch a swimming pool during BMT. Dunno why they give swimming trunks lol.
- Pes E9 cannot exercise/play sports during own free time, even in the gym and your sergeant will ask you not to run when you fall in (I am not kidding, this was a legit rule during my time)
- Pes E9 have a different PT/Sports and Games routine than Pes E1 or C *Pes E are given lesser things than a Pes C recruit(when first enter the camp)
All in all, I can say is, have fun during BMT because you can bond with friends there and you wilk enjoy your time more if you become participative and see the good things in BMT. And also given the amount of free time. Be productive. Learn coding or a new language or read a book,play guitar, play uno and monopoly deal(cannot bring poker cards btw)
P.S. even till this day, most of us still think KC2=KC3. Also haircut is $3 and you have to do them 3 times:first week, last day of soldiering phase, POP week.
7.MDC auditions(I never got a chance to see anything like this before so I am placing it here.)
*just wanted to insert this because I had nvr had the opportunity to know what is MDC before this...so....like I said, there are 4 type of auditions
Pioneer and technician: will have interview. Basic but note, you rlly have to be talented and must have major event experience. Meaning, outside school events.
Musician: you have to bring your instrument and you have to play a tune(ok this one idk but the next sentence is true). You have to know how to play it in different chords. E.g. can play in C chord? Can change to D sharp? Etc.
Artiste: you have to go thru 3 tasks: Singing, dancing and hosting. AND YOU MUST DO ALL 3.(I accidently thought can do 1 of them but nope must be all 3. I decided to change to technician but BOY WAS I WRONG :( ) Also, pls bring your admin tee and shorts. In all 3 of the tasks, the judges will have to change your pitch, dance moves or make you do weird movements.
Edit:Tip: When you are having holidays before entering BMT, find acting jobs,singing jobs, performance jobs etc. esp for those in interview based auditions. They tend to view those with experience more than those without. And note, MAJOR EVENTS and not just school events.
8.Impt qn: Can i up pes?
Yes but it will take 2 mnths (Not sure abt the duration tho, someone pls correct me) for you to up pes as you have to go through a medical examination. This one pls speak to your superior about this. Sometimes will recommend, sometimes will not recommend. But I would say, to uppes to pes A or B is a bad idea if you start from Pes E.
9.Will I need to say out?
Tricky qn, that is determined by the interview and the medical reports given . There is only 1 section in each platoon in which everyone is a stay out, the remainder are stay in. Tip: If you don't know whether you stay in, assume you are staying and just bring anything
10.A levels result release, how?
If you are still in confinement, you still have to come back to camp after receiving results. Technically, they will release at 11am approx.(unlike your other friends released a day ago)
11.Will Charlie be done like Alpha and Bravo?
Yes(in regimen and schedule) and no as the activities tend to be replaced with lectures. Pls bring A NEW notebook for this and pls copy down your notes. Also, you have 4 tests now and you only need to pass 3 test to pass the course. And also, for Charlie side, we have to msrch to cookhouse in mornings unlike Alpha and Bravo
12.Is there wireless@sg?*
Yes and it is FREE Sorry Tekong :/ Only available in Kranji.
13.What are the tests for ASA Charlie?*
These are 4 MCQ tests. Some are open book and some are close book. Tested on 4 topics seperatedly : Manpower Ops, Human Resource, Finance, Coordination(?). To pass vocational training for ASA, you have to pass 3 out of 4 tests. There are retests as well. Passing mark:24 out of 30 or more.
14.Why does some of my friends who have multiple physical problems belong to Pes E1 while someone with just a back problem belong to Pes E9?
They determine Pes via PULHEEMS.(each letter represents a category ranging from Level 1 to Level 4,with the higher level being worser.) Here is where we might get confused. Let's say Person A everything else is Level 1 but eye(right) is level 3 vs Person B is Level 1 for everything but Level 2 for upper limb and hearing. Person B will be in a better Pes than Person A because the Pes grading is only determined by the category with THE HIGHEST LEVEL. PES grading is not accumulative. This also explain why those who want to be in Pes A are confused why they got Pes B.
- What is a 4D number?
Okay this one is basically your nric for bmt( but not for NS) but it tells you which company, platoon, section and "index number", you are from.
E.g. B1214, company Bravo platoon 1 section 2 14 th person.,
Okay,that is all I can say for now, pls help me a little bit cus my brain is still kinda fuzzy as I kinda forgot how BMT was. I'll try to edit them as soon as possible if there are anything wrong with the text.
- Edit: I know that at some point, this post might be disabled and prevent you from commenting at some point, but I want to let you know that this is the most I can do. I decided to put this post because the revamp for Pes C and E is relatively new, in fact since 2018. And I know people are worried to come to NS. I had to try searching up for information and it is kinda difficult at my time tbh so if you have any experiences that you would like to share, please post more of these experiences, esp those in Pes C and E to help the new batch of recruits be able to noe feel worried or confused or scared about BMT and NS as well.
- And to the commentors...thank you for giving questions. The more questions, the more experience I can give.
Originally posted on:
https://www.fluffybooru.com/post/view/57749 “Wan Pway?” ~Alternatively titled “Excerpts from the Diary of Tan Teck Sing, James~ ~By Oculus~ Part 1 31 January 202X I sometimes wonder why I write in diary. It seems like an incredibly effeminate thing to do, and it is not a fact that I share with just about anyone.
I started the practice of writing in a diary when I was doing National Service. For three long months I was away from home and family with no one to really confide in. While I got to know and adapt to platoon, I sort of resented them. Being a junior college graduate who enrolled later, I got stuck with the polytechnic and ITE graduates who were a very different crowd from who I knew, along with the dropouts
The idea of writing a journal entry isn't foreign to me. When I was in secondary school, I grew up on facebook, and then tumblr, before making a move to livejournal, which seemed cosier and less noticed. However, without access to internet, I had to make do with a physical book. Hiding my diary from the other recruits would be difficult and I was called ‘girly’ and ‘gay’ for doing so. To the best of my ability, I tried to make my posts as inoffensive as possible. Still, my diary got defaced and vandalised from time to time, but I stuck to it, having to constantly tear out the pages other people had written it.
Eventually, I was selected for training in the Officer Cadet School (OCS), where I was grouped with more like-minded fellows. Keeping a diary there was easier and by then, the diary I kept during that period was a lot cleaner and less affected than the one I had during BMT. I don't know if I lost or deliberately threw away my BMT diary, but I still have my OCS diary, to remind me of the year I spent training to be an officer.
This practice followed me into university. Even as I got more sociable and started hanging out with people, there were some thoughts and ideas that I just didn't feel ready to put into an online journal for all to see.
Looking back at how I was initially in the sciences, to switching to the humanities in junior college, my family balked at the idea. But I just love literature. And I love reading books. And the English language. As much as I came from an all-Chinese family, I was raised by my parents in English, and pretty much every facet of my life had been dominated by the English language. I am familiar with the businesses and people that want to push for a stronger Mandarin presence, owing to the influence of China and our Chinese majority, but to me, English is just the more comfortable and interesting language. I always harboured a dream of going to Oxford to study but, alas, my mediocre results meant that the best I could manage was an entry into the National University of Singapore, where I barely got a Bachelors in Literature.
It has been about two months since I've been teaching what is now my third class of students at this Primary school. I always wanted to be a teacher, and after being trained in MOE, I was finally allocated to one of the neighbourhood primary schools. (a guy I disliked from my adolescence who got to study abroad is currently teaching English at JC level, the lucky bastard)
Young children are a handful and are difficult to work with, but I try my best. The bigger problem these days seems to be the rise in autism - as each year goes by, there seems to be more children with high-functioning autism being in my classes. Dealing with them is a real test of my patience, and I sometimes wonder to myself why I am a teacher. But I try.
3rd February 202X Something is bugging me today.
When I entered the class to teach English, one of the children, Henry I think, started speaking to me with a lisp. but it wasn't just the lisp. It was his choice of language. I'm going to try and remember how the conversation goes
"Now class, I have four words here. Cat, ball, dog and cooking. Which of these four words isn't a noun?"
No one raises their hands. I point at Henry
"Henry, which of the four is not a noun?"
"Fwuffy nu understan, nice mistah. Am having thinkie pwaces huwties."
I blink my eyes.
"Excuse me?"
"Cooking."
I don't know if that actually came from Henry, or someone else in the class
About half an hour later, we were reading the story about the Ugly Duckling by Hans Christian Andersen. While reading it, I remember what Henry said at one point
"Duckwing am poopie babbeh! Mummah duckie nu wuv! Gib poopeh duckwing sowwy huwties!"
I don't know if Henry is joking or if its his autism. He was mentioned by his parents to be suffering from autism
14th February 202X Chinese New Year celebrations at the school just concluded. I'm taking the time off to update my diary because why not. I will be busy for most of this evening and tomorrow. First will be the reunion dinner, and tomorrow will be visiting more relatives. Thankfully, I'm single currently, so the pool of relatives I visit won't be that large. Also, as a single individual, I can still receive angpaos from my elders.
The one thing I am looking forward to is the long weekend. I don't have anything planned for Sunday, or Monday, and Monday is currently Hari Raya. (I can't remember if its Puasa or Haji, I'm neither Malay nor a Muslim)
16th February 202X With nothing better to do, I decided to sit down and watch some Sunday Morning cartoons. I'm a big fan of animation. I used to enjoy reruns of stuff like classic Duckstory, the FlowerFluff Gals and, of course, My Little Fluffy. That last two was made by the same company, Hassenfeld. They have also made other cartoons like The Fluffiest Pet Store and PoundDogs. And of course, I do like the action stuff, like reruns of Strong-Man and G.I. Prawn: Real South-African Hero.
Yet none of the cartoons today just seem to be any good.
A recurring thing I see in cartoons these days is this cheap design. That they have this big grin that you can't avoid. Watch any cartoon released after 2015, and you start to see it. They call it the ‘CalArts smile’. The themes and topics of these cartoons are also lacking, in addition to the poor animation. There's no big adventure or recurring storyline. Almost every episode is a simple gag, told with bland humour. I swear I've seen at least one episode that had too many flatulence jokes.
After a while, I got frustrated and switched off the television. My brother, whose younger than me by about 5 years and is still in university, notices my frustration.
"Wassup, bro?"
"Cartoons suck these days."
"Nobody watches TV anymore, bro. Everybody watches youtube these days, especially the kids."
16th February 202X I have no idea what the fuck I've just watched.
I decided to try out youtube kids, to see what passes for children's entertainment these days. At first glance, the content seemed educational. There is the usual content provided by channels like PBS and Discovery. All open, fairly accessible, nothing offensive.
But then, one of the videos that I eventually got recommended was something simply titled "Nutewwa song"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25-zU5X_tEM Its literally just one guy, holding a jar of nutella, repeating the lines
"Nutewwa, nuttewwa, I wuv nuttewwa. wub wub wub, nuttewwa wub nuttewwa" The thing goes on for literally four minutes. I had to fast forward to see if the lyrics changed. They did not.
I then see a video with a long title, but I could roughly summarize to being about teaching children how to count to five. However, what I got was more bizarre
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTEmCTZON3A It has human actors, but they speak with a lisp. And the lyrics go something like this:
"Daddeh fingah, daddeh fingah, whewe am fwuff? Hewe am fwuff, here am fwuff! How daddeh do? Mummah fingah, mommy fingah, whewe am fwuff? Here am fwuff, here am fwuff! How mummah do?" I try searching for the lyrics. Like Baby shark, it apparently belongs to a song called "finger family". However, while the correct lyrics are provided, the ones in the video weren't. And there's hundreds of these videos. Some with real human actors. Others with very minimalist animation. All singing the same song with the same exact lisp. Sure, the voices are different, but the pronunciation is almost always the same
I had to exit youtube kids for a moment and search on normal youtube to find the original song. I managed to find an old video from over a decade ago, that has only for about ten thousand views. In contrast, these newer videos get millions
There are some even more bizarre ones. Like a version where the finger family all has skulls on the fingers. Or the one where Hitler and Stalin are the "mother" and "father" figure respectively. On a dare, I decided to try and see what happen if I typed a random name with "five finger family". True enough, there was five finger family videos of anything from Kamen Rider to Doomguy to Agent 47.
With all of them speaking with the lisp, and using the word "fwuffy."
After a while, it was too much for me to bear. I stopped watching, and decided to watch the movie Predator to get my mind off the infantile speech and mannerisms
18th February 202X I met Iskandar today.
We both entered university in the same year, and first met in the Literature 101 class. Although Iskandar does have a minor in Literature, his focus is more on linguistics. Also, while I only had a mere bachelors, he received honours, and went on to pursue a Masters.
He too entered the workforce as a teacher and is currently teaching his first cohort of students. Due to his qualifications, he currently teaches English at a nearby junior college. Nevertheless, the two of us make the time to meet each and other for a quick chat over a breakfast. Ideally, one with kaya toast and coffee. And today, I shared with him the videos I had found.
"I've seen this before. They're made by content farms."
"Content farm?"
"It is the algorithm. Basically, companies look for what the most popular thing, then churn out cheap and simple content to get clicks. The clicks generate ad revenue, and that is how they make their money.
I've been following this phenomenon for a few years now, though there has been an interesting development. I think you've picked up on it too."
Being rather puzzled, I asked what he meant
"Have you ever noticed that in these videos, they never use the first person singular personal pronoun?"
For a brief moment, Iskandar said it so fast that I did not catch what he meant
"They don't use 'I', basically."
"Oh, I noticed that. The speech is also very limited, and almost always use a lisp."
"Indeed. There'll be an announcement about this soon. They've actually been studying this problem, even in our alma mater at NUS, and MOE is likely to make an announcement about it soon."
"Announcement about what?"
"You'll see."
25th February 202X Met Mei today. She asked me why I didn't take her to meet my relatives during Chinese New Year. I joked that, by doing so, I was guaranteed to get more angpaos from my elders. She promptly whacked me on the head <3
Jokes aside, we talked a bit today. We used to go out a lot, back in JC, but we weren't really dating. I lost contact with her during NS, and by that time, she started dating another guy. However, she broke up with him not too long ago.
We did date once, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to do it again. She seemed keen though. I guess we'll see where it goes from here.
11th March 202X Went on a date with Mei today.
Mei has always been different from myself. While I went into the humanities because I had a fascination for English Literature, especially 19th century literature and earlier, she did the sensible thing most Singaporeans would do, and stayed in the sciences. As she got older though, she developed more of an interested in business, and started for her business degree at out alma mater at NUS. But she always had an interest in the sciences, with one of her quirks being chatting about some random science tidbit or news, that she came across.
And today she wouldn't shut up about talking animals
"Did you know that animals can't really talk?"
I thought it was silly for her to say that, as I pointed out parrots and ravens.
"That's just mimicking. The only animal we know that approximated a conversation with its owner was the parrot Alex, and even that is contested. And there's a simple reason why animals don't really talk - they don't have Wernicke's and Broca's areas.
"What's that?"
"They're the parts of our brain that are linked to speech production, as well as ascribing meaning to speech."
"And you're saying animals don't have that?"
"Actually, there are some animals that have parts *like* it. Such as singing mice. And the parrots that you mentioned. But these parts are analogous to their role, not exactly like it. It is like asking, why can't a dog talk like a human. Theoretically, a more advanced animal like a dolphin or a chimpanzee has these areas, but they're not super developed."
Alright, so what is the point of you mentioning this, I wondered
"Well, they're currently looking into ways of better mimicking the areas I mentioned in animals. As well as transplanting them into animals such as cats and dogs."
"So, like, talking animals?"
"Precisely! Think about how much better it would be to be able to communicate with your dog if it was able to just talk to you directly, and not just in barks."
"But aren't there like physiological differences between a dog and a human that would make such speech impossible for them?"
"Well, technically, birds should not be able to mimic humans. And yet parrots mimic humans well enough. What they're trying to do is improve the parrot to a level where, as opposed to just repeating simple lines, it can have full on conversations with its owner, the way Alex did."
And then she started going even further into the science of it. As I started to nod off, I did the one that I could to slowly get her mind off on talking about neurobiology
"There's this Teochew restaurant I haven't been to yet. You okay with that for dinner?"
1st of April 202X Well, that was a shock.
And the fact that it happened today didn't really help matters. When most of the people in the English Department hear it, we thought they were pulling a fast one. But of course, the ministry would never joke. And even if they did, the effort put into it, along with what I was seeing in the news, was too elaborate, too deliberate to possible be "just a joke".
The Ministry of Education just announced that there was a rampant problem of "Fluffspeak". Basically, primary school children, particularly below the age of 10, are starting to speak in a severely stunted form of English. I had given remedial classes for children who speak English poorly, and who were brought up to speak Singlish or Mandarin, so this was not a new phenomenon. But the description of the language reminded me of the videos I saw back in Chinese New Year.
Of a severely stunted form of English, where each and every ‘r’ and ‘l’ is replaced with a ‘w’. Larger words are replaced with certain conventions like "thinkie-pwaces" instead of brain and "seeing-pwaces" instead of eyes. And there is no singular personal pronoun. There is no "I". Only "fluffy."
It sounds like a joke, but according to the memorandum from the Ministry of Education, at least a few thousand primary school children have been found to be speaking in nothing but fluffspeak, and have started failing their English classes, and the number is growing.
The problem is worldwide, and was first noticed in American schools. This apparently, led to research into the problem, some of which NUS was involved in.
Just tonight, I saw a newscaster speak, very seriously "about the growing problem of Fluffspeak among children."
The whole thing just feels too incredulous. I have to talk to Iskandar about this as soon as I can.
4th April 202X "Yeah, it's a constructed language. Have you ever heard of Newspeak?"
I confessed that I didn't.
"Its from George Orwell's 1984."
"The only Orwell I read was Animal Farm, and that was for literature class in secondary school."
"Well, it is an example of a constructed language. A better example would be Tolkien's Evlish."
"That, I am familiar with." I am a huge sucker for fantasy stuff, especially Tolkien's works, as I continued, "It is really amazing how Tolkien would create entire languages for the races and world he created."
"Constructed languages aren't a new thing, but fluffspeak is incredibly unique because its AI-generated."
"AI-generated? But that would mean-"
"Yes. The algorithm created this language."
We were having breakfast again. Being a quick but meticulous eater, Iskandar had already finished his eggs and toast. Iskandar had brought a briefcase, where he was showing printouts of screenshots he had captured, as well as a tablet.
"A lot of the data has been lost, and only a fraction of it was archived or
archive.org. But, at some point, google searches started processing the word 'pway' instead of 'play', and started generating results for searches and songs that used the word "pway".
"That is just a typo isn't it?"
"More like a mispronunciation - these searches started around about the time audio searches were predominant."
I wasn't impressed. Iskandar seemed to be suggesting that an entire language was constructed, by algorithm, based on baby-talk from children too young to be using google search.
"It is a bit more than that."
Iskandar then proceeds to show me pictures of comments found on videos about baby versions of cartoon animals. Of note was a photo a woman took of a Baby Yoda figure. Another was a photo a woman took of a baby smurf. Both pictures had the women pretend that the baby was speaking to them in a type of baby talk. One of them read the following:
"Hawing wunch wike mummah pwomise." "It's been a recurring thing. Older women, and perhaps men, pretending that baby-talk consists of replacing 'l's and 'r's with 'w's, as well as children with lisps adding to the situation.
There was the influence of uWu language."
"uWu?"
Iskandar then switches on his tablet. After a few swipes, he reaches a video on youtube. The video has only one static image, of a girl with two circular eyes, and a mouth shaped like a small w.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mBqm8uO4Cg As the human speaker continues talking, the language structure and speech starts getting simpler and simpler, until it sounds like baby-talk.
"This is considered a joke type of speech, but it matches what the search algorithms have founds when collated with the baby-talk searches generated by both adults and children with the lisp."
I was starting to get a sense of what Iskandar was talking about. But there was one thing that seemed unusual
"Alright, but why "fwuffy". Why is the word "fwuffy" used instead of 'I'?"
"We don't know. But some people at MIT noticed the similarity between the onomatopoeic sound of "fuwa fuwa" with "fluffy". There's also the Hassenfeld cartoons that keep using "fluff" or "fluffy" to describe their properties. That's still disputed though."
Okay, but I don't really see how this a language. To me it is more like a dialect. A creole or a slang, whatever you linguists call it. Like our own native Singlish."
"That is true - most of it is based in the English language. But it does remind me a lot of newspeak, which was treated as a language."
Time was starting to run out, and I had to get back to work. I tried to make a closing statement
"Well, all I know is, having to give more remedial lessons so that children don't speak like retards is going to be a bitch."
"I wouldn't be too disparaging about this language, if I were you James."
He then swipes his tablet one more time, and shows me a webpage. It reads "Fluffspeak Research."
"The team at MIT started this webpage where they compiled their findings on fluffspeak. In addition, they're trying to get people to contribute stories and ideas written in fluffspeak. They want to see how far they can get with furthering and improving the language that was created by the algorithm."
Sounds like a massive waste of time, I thought.
"Some people would have said Tolkien was wasting his time when creating Elvish."
"Tolkien was trying to depict the language of a proud people, and was also building a mythology. In contrast this seems to be trying to make an entire language based around babytalk."
"And isn't that interesting?"
I brushed him off. We said our goodbyes, and head back to work.
I still got that website though. The url was memorable enough that I jotted it down on a piece of paper.
Maybe I'll check it out when I really got nothing better to do. (like, never!)
22nd May 202X It has been three weeks since I started my first remedial class for students speaking fluffspeak. As much as I think that the problem is overblown, there seem to be this growing alarm concerning the phenomenon.
I never would have imagined that getting a child at the age of 10 to say "play" instead of "pway" would seem so difficult. But that is what it has come to. In the first two weeks, most of the children I have been handling with were 9 or younger, and clearly had too much access to the internet, especially youtube. The solution seemed to be as simple - deny these impressionable children access to mobile devices such as the internet, and school them through extensive English classes to correct their speech.
But this ten year old child is the eldest case I have dealt with. And he is far more intelligent than the others. He has taken to calling himself the leader of the class. The "smawty". He is also the rowdiest. On a few occasions, the class collectively threw paper planes at me, and this was an act co-ordinated by this one child. I managed to single him out. Speak to him and his parents directly. And that was when I learnt an uncomfortable truth about this one particularly precocious child.
He was doing this all willingly.
He spoke to me normally. He can write a sentence normal, without replace the "ls" and "rs" with "w"s. And he can say eyes instead of "seeing-pwaces." He just chooses not to.
But, why?
"Its fun."
He then shows me a video that he saw on youtube. Of course, I had to use a smartphone, but I searched and found the video.
It's a cover of Earth Angel.
Done entirely, in fluffspeak.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRmRckBDbWo Looking at the description of the video, I notice that it ties back to the MIT website that Iskandar mentioned. This was one of the videos that their group had created, in exploring pre-existant media, "translated" into fluffspeak.
Maybe I should check this website out. Maybe.
2nd June 202X On a whim, I decided to check out the Fluffspeak Research page that Iskandar mentioned. There's quite a wordy writeup by a professor at MIT known as Prof Minsky regarding the nature of "flufffspeak" as the basis of AI generated language, cobbled together by the algorithm. The researchers are looking into how this language can be fine-tuned through further user input.
The head of the project is a Professor Syme Minksy. I took note of her email address.
The message boards for the project are divided into neat areas. There's a submission box where people can send in their fluffspeak generated pieces anonymously. Then there are the message boards where people post their actual written works, rendered in fluffspeak, online, and discuss about it. Some of it lacks imagination - a person would take a passage from Twilight, or Harry Potter, and then replace the language with that of uWu language instead of the proper fluffspeak.
But then there are some people who have written an entire short story, with an original plot and everything, but in fluffspeak. Reading the article is hard as hell, but, given that it supposed to be a more advanced version of babytalk, the story can be understood after a little re-reading.
There is even a section where people can host live discussions, utilizing an IRC client, to chat in "fluffspeak". If they chat in any other 'normal' language, they have to indicate so, or be booted from the server
While browsing the site, for a brief moment, I see Iskandar's name pops up. Looks like he's quite active here.
16 June 202X I did it. I took the plunge.
I submitted my first story in fluffspeak.
I did it just for fun. Just wrote a story about a guy going to a shop to buy a can of spaghetti, or "skettis".
But I wrote it all in fluffspeak.
9th July 202X Finally had the chance to talk to Professor Minsky, the head of the project. Well, talk as in talk over an internet messenger. At the age of 50, she is a Professor of Linguistics. However, the programme that she is working on has included experts from the fields of artificial intelligence, as well as psychology and neurology. There is a relationship between the development of a language and a theory of mind, and for machine learning to be able to construct and recommend a rudimentary language suggests a development of a theory of mind. Whether this means that the internet would develop into a Skynet 2.0 is a separate (though also important question), but the larger implication is the nature of the language being developed.
Being based of babytalk, as Minsky puts it, fluffspeak could be interpreted as the way a developing toddler or child sees the world. Thus, and theoretically, any complex work of fiction by an adult could be processed and simplified in fluffspeak.
But what about simple english, I asked her. After all, wikipedia entries in simple english exist for this same purpose
The professor then points out that simple english still assumes that the speaker is an adult with a minimal amount of education. A layman, so to speak. In contrast, fluffspeak was developed by a machine understanding of how a prepubescent child thinks and talks. As she puts it, refining fluffspeak, as well as understanding the children and people who use it, would help determine the formation of language, especially the transition from the more rudimentary baby-talk to more complex and refined forms of language. In addition, the use of fluffspeak could allow for the introduction of larger, more complex adult concepts into a simpler medium for children to understand.
I pointed out to the professor that education departments across the world, including the local MOE, have been trying to discourage fluffspeak, at least amongst children. She understands this, and says that she is currently restricting it to among adults, as well as children who are already using fluffspeak. She then points out that, in my remedial classes, I should be using documents to track the specific lisps and sentence structures that fluffspeak users are working with. I admit that I had not noticed this.
I then point out to the Professor that, as with anything on the internet, there is that danger that something bad would always slip through. Chatbots have been observed to pick up negative comments and biases from the users, and the same seemed to apply to fluffspeak. The professor admitted this is a concern, and mentioned that, for the moment, the fluffspeak material that is submitted is analysed to be free from profanities as well as graphic behaviour and violence
12 July 202X Spoke to Calvin. Although Minsky is the head of the program, Calvin could be said to be doing most of the legwork related to the program. Minsky mainly works with a hypothesis, as well as understanding the practical and physical element of fluffspeak. The hard coding, and the algorithms, however, are all Calvin's work.
Calvin had already received her Master’s in Computer Science and is currently working on a thesis paper related towards the basis of language generation through algorithms. It is not a small wonder that she ended up being attached to Minsky's program. Even though they are from two different fields, the fluffspeak phenomena had interested both female professionals.
There are some differences between the two women, though. Minsky is clearly an idealist and also a little no-nonsense. She has been quite harsh in how she moderates what goes in and what doesn't for the fluffspeak programme. Calvin seems a more relaxed. A lot more approachable. I can see myself spending more time conversing with Calvin, even though its mostly on matters unrelated to the program.
3rd August 202X I have upload about five stories to the message board now.
Four of them were original material, while the first was Roald Dahl's "The Great Automatic Grammatizator" completely rendered in fluffspeak.
Some other people have been more adventurous. So far, we have had the works of Chaucer, Shakespeare, Milton, Byron all rendered in fluffspeak by many different contributors, a number working together. The study is currently limited to the English speaking world, but there is already some discussion about how different languages might generate their own fluffspeak, if given time.
There's however, an alarming trend I noticed. Although the board is heavily moderated, at times, there are a few people who, while attempting to converse in fluffspeak, start describing sexual actions. The motive behind this seems to be a form of ageplay. Due to fluffspeak's basis in a more simplistic form of speaking, some people are inclined to use fluffspeak to partake in a form of ageplay.
Having spoken to Calvin, the problem already started within the first week the board was open to the public. The mods have been working day and night to ensure depictions of sex and violence are not described in fluffspeak, other than what has already been written in fiction. There is the concern of censorship, but Calvin mentions that the focus is on making ' a working language' first.
9th August 202X Was bored for most of National Day. Decided to have lunch with Iskandar at the Gluttons Bay. Iskandar was having Nasi Lemak while I had carrot cake.
The two of us conversed quite a bit about Fluffspeak, and the program Calvin was running. I mentioned a nagging point that is on my mind
"I do think the language is interesting, but I feel like the approach to it has been rather skewed."
"What makes you say that?"
"We're basing this more of what 'we' think babytalk and childtalk is like, not what 'childtalk' actually is."
"I should correct you there, James. We're working with what the AI thinks constitutes as babytalk and childtalk.
The generation of the videos by content farms, and their subsequent pronunciations and language augmentation, was based on recommendations by the algorithm. Youtube kept pushing videos with the lisp and incorrect English as the correct choice, which children picked up on. As children contributed more content online, the 'language' started developing. At this point, I'd say we're just merely giving it a more definite form."
"So you're saying that we're trying to 'perfect' that language?"
"Basically, yeah.
It is like that one guy who converted 'the Little Prince' into Singlish. Singlish is often look at derisively by our local government, but, given that it is our native Creole, a lot of Singapore writers take pride in it the way the Scots do with their language and English."
"But Singlish is tied to our culture. What culture are we making fluffspeak for?"
"Who knows?" said Iskandar, as he shrugged. "I like to think it is for 'us'. The people in our group."
~
I didn't get to meet Mei tonight.
I saw the fireworks alone.
1st September 202X Today was teacher's day. Did the same the thing we did the past two years. Fun and games in the morning. Small part in the class. Finger food, candies and cakes.
"Fwuffy wub candy!"
And the one idiot speaking fluffspeak. Had to correct the child.
"Henry, its 'love'"
"S-s-sowwy Mister Tan. Henwy wiw-wil-will tw-tw-try harder."
~
Teacher's Day is a school holiday, but only the children get to go home early. There was a slight party mood in the department though, as an occasion like this meant that we too would be celebrating with finger food, cake, and even ice-cream in the fridge.
Now was a good time to hang out with the other English teachers in the department and catch up. I've gotten to know Mr. Choe, who joined in the last year, and Ms. Ho, whose been around for ages. The topic of fluffspeak came up rather unexpectedly. Mr Choe, in what I could only describe as gentle but youthful aggression, made his opinion clear.
"We have to rout out this fluffspeak."
"Rout out? I mean, we're just correcting the way the children are speaking."
"And it is not enough. This incorrect use of English is spreading. It is a literal rape of the beauty of English, and we cannot tolerate it."
"By that measure," said Ms Ho, "you would say Singlish is a rape of English."
"I would, yes. I don't want any of my students to speak a lick of Singlish in my class. And fluffspeak is worse. They sound like literal retards."
"And what do you think, Mr. Tan?"
A slight sweat trickled down my forehead. Although I was on the MIT website, unlike Iskandar, I adopted a nickname.
"I think a bizarre form of English is a unique expression of creativity."
Mr Choe glared at me in disapproval.
"I disagree, Jim. I think we can be very creative with English without having to work with a corruption of it. English should be kept pure."
20th December 202X I went out on a date with Mei today.
It was rather sweet. She wouldn't shut up about some recent developments in biology, but, other than that, we had fun.
We were walking along the bridge to Marina bay when she popped a question to me
"James?"
"Yes, Mei?"
"Have you ever thought of leaving Singapore?"
I was a bit taken aback by the suggestion. Aside from the time I trained in Brunei and Taiwan for National Service, I have never travelled out of Singapore. (Well, aside from the occasional trip to JB and that's more to get chewing gum as well as the cheaper products from Malaysia)
"No. Why do you ask? Have you travelled?"
"No."
She then looks over the railing. The Orchard city lights brighten the December evening. One can see the rainclouds above. There is a gentle wind, slowly building, but not yet indicative of a storm. For now though, it blows against Mei's hair, its beauty wavering.
"I just cannot imagine my whole life here. I do want to see the world. I mean, I have family in Malaysia, but I also have some distant relatives in Hong Kong. And China. I even have cousins in the US. And an uncle in Canada.
And I always wanted to go to Greece. Or Spain. Or even Ethiopia."
"Ethiopia?" I scoffed. "That's in Africa isn't it? Can't imagine why anyone would go there."
"I beg your pardon, but Ethiopia was one of the most advanced countries in Africa for the longest time! It was also never truly colonized by a Western power. It is a country with a rich history!"
I felt a bit sheepish. I apologized.
"Its okay. Maybe the view I'm saying is too rosy. But I don't want to be too landlocked to this country.
I do want to see the world."
3rd February 202X+1 Took Mei with me to visit one of my relatives for Chinese New Year. I had my reunion dinner the night before with immediate family, as she did, but since we're now going out, I guess it made sense that my family knew .
And true enough, this time around, I didn't get the red packets
Worst still, the dreaded question came around.
"So when are you two going to get married and start continuing the family name?"
Jesus, grandma, we're taking it slow.
For a good hour though, Mei ended up playing poker with a cousin of mine. Said cousin is a biologist, and they keep talking about something called a 'chimera'. I heard about that from Greek mythology.
"Well we're not talking about Greek mythology dear, we're talking about an actual animal. One they're developing apparently."
I rolled my eyes. Didn’t interest me.
While I waited for their game to conclude, I spent some time at the porch, and looked at the garden, where the children of some of my relatives were playing
"You can't catch me, you can't catch me!"
"Siwwy dummeh! Smawty am da fastest! Wiww catch fwen!"
I had to blink my eyes.
The girl who was running was able to speak English well. However, the boy chasing her had to be at least 11 to 12 years old, and was clearly speaking fluffspeak
It turned out that he was the son of one of my distant relatives
"Yeah," he sighed, with a forlorn look on his flace. "He can speak Mandarin well. But his English is nothing but that stupid lisp. That 'fluffspeak'. And we sent him for classes, but he keeps lapsing back"
As the boys keeps running and speaking with the lisp, I wonder if the remedials we provide are truly effective.
10 June 202X+1 Its coming to be the first full year since I joined the fluffspeak community
It feels that I lead this double life. During the day, I spend most of the time, teaching proper English, and conducting remedial classes to correct young children and prevent them from speaking Fluffspeak.
But in the evening, I spend an hour or two reading the Fluffspeak message boards. There are a number of good stories written in fluffspeak, as well as some interesting performative arts done with the language.
I do think that young children shouldn't speak fluffspeak, but I can appreciate fluffspeak as a creative outlet for someone of my age. I hope MIT will keep the site around.
16th June 202X+1 They shut down the site.
The move shocked all of us. I went to check the twitter, and Professor Minsky states that the programme had already reached its research goals, and thus, was ended. That was all the explanation given.
No more than that.
I'm angry. I'm frustrated. I spent almost a year, writing all kinds of stuff, stuff that I did not save, and uploaded it to this site. All gone. A tonne of work, taken away from us. Replies were disabled. Something tells me that they expected the backlash.
I sent an email to Calvin. She might know a bit more. And I must to speak to Iskandar soon.
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