(Link to full article)
ON THE MORNING of the Doomsday War, president Tubbo surveyed the grassy hills of his domain, L’Manberg. His second-in-command, TommyInnit, rested beside him on a bench, nodding stoically. “Listen,” TommyInnit began, pausing dramatically. “I know you had to exile me.”
Gesturing with their Lego-like avatars, TommyInnit and Tubbo were winding up tension in a Macchiavellian political drama that has unfolded over the past year in Minecraft. Last week, over 1 million people tuned in to watch live. TommyInnit said they’d leave the past behind them; he wasn’t mad anymore. L’Manberg’s future was in jeopardy. “It’s got to be me and you versus Dream, just like it always has been,” said TommyInnit.
Dream is the owner of the Dream SMP server, since May the home of a virtual world built whole-cloth by dozens of characters navigating intrigue and betrayal, with arcs and storylines more unpredictable than any reality television. Video games aren’t just pop culture, but material for its creation. And out of that knowledge, a new theatrical tradition has emerged—gunky and psychedelic and stupid and random in that “lol so randOm” way only the internet can be. Some of the most popular online video games have become stages for live theater, broadcast to millions over Twitch and YouTube.
That includes Minecraft, part game and part digital sandbox. It’s like if the imagined dramas kids invented around their Lego sets were manifest and infinitely malleable. Blocks and blocks of colored terrain form perfect replicas of the Spirited Away universe or Game of Thrones’ King’s Landing. Building is the base skill, but there is also a Survival mode, in which players can collect items, craft tools, and fight creatures or each other.
Dream SMP is just that: The player Dream’s survival multiplayer server, where top Minecraft celebrities have constructed an ongoing, mostly improvised narrative over dozens of combined hours of livestreaming. On Twitch, the participants separately go live on their own channels to further the fictional drama through their unique perspectives for their millions of subscribers. Their fans have assembled Thucydidean wikis describing each and every conflict: the BT period (Before TommyInnit), the controversial election between the So We Are Gamers (SWAG2020) and Politicians of Gaming (POG2020) parties, the Second Pet War, right on to Doomsday.
“Stories are usually told in a more traditional way in television, movies, and musicals. What happens here is unique,” says Dream SMP’s Quackity. “To a lot of people, Minecraft is a game where people mine and gather resources. We’ve legitimized the fact that we can tell very interesting stories through video games.”
Dream SMP has a small and exclusive writers room. It’s on Discord. The personalities making up the storyline meet secretly in voice channels to sketch out general plot points: an election, maybe, or a new building. Written declarations of war (“Sometimes you just gotta kill some people sometimes yaknow - Sun Tzu”) or military strategies. Once the livestreams roll, though, things can quickly go off the rails, and often do. Quackity recalled waiting on stage at a podium for the results of Dream SMP’s presidential election. His SWAG2020 running mate, GeorgeNotFound, wasn’t showing up. It turned out he slept through the event.
“We joke about this. This entire Dream SMP lore happened because of GeorgeNotFound,” says Quackity. Abandoned, Quackity formed an impromptu political party with a drunk-acting insurrectionist, Jschlatt, to form SchWAG2020. They won with 46 percent of the popular vote to POG2020’s 45 percent.
Role-playing in online video games is about as old as online video games themselves; In the ’90s, players in role-play multi-user dungeons (RP MUDs) prescribed rules of engagement and constructed elaborate storylines through elaborate, made-up characters, all with text. In early massively multiplayer online role-playing games, players would forego the prescribed plot to leverage avatars’ fashions, emotes, and customizable homes toward communal storytelling. But live video platforms like Twitch and YouTube have reformulated private video game role-play into entertainment, and entertainment into business. It is an art form that has become a bonafide viewing experience, a culture machine, closer in lineage to live theater than Tyler “Ninja” Blevins’ Fortnite trick shots.
Minecraft SMP isn’t harkening in this new era of performance on its own. It is one piece of a renaissance. In the open-world action game Grand Theft Auto 5, gamers role-play messy interpersonal affairs and hard-boiled mafia narratives, moving their avatars and their vehicles around a sprawling city map. In 2019, at its peak popularity, viewers tuned in for over 17 million hours of GTA role-play over the course of just seven days. Recently, in the 2013 multiplayer survival-shooter Rust, a server run by Twitch streamer collective Offline TV has ascended to full-on reality television. Forming and breaking factions and stabbing each other with spears, dozens of top streamers vectored their personalities off the game to the effect of over a million viewers at its peak in early January.
Games are commodities, and games are art; but they are also artistic media. For players who choose to use them this way, games are the sum of their mechanics and aesthetics, like the underbelly of a piano or the set of a Broadway play. (Some fans refer to the Dream SMP as “Minecraft Hamilton” because of players’ many references to the musical). And liveness matters. The spectator sport is in analyzing how, given the limitations of game mechanics, players coordinate and improvise narratives. Even in a slow, creative game like Minecraft, the artists see limits where others don’t, and don’t see limits where others do.
"We’ve legitimized the fact that we can tell very interesting stories through video games."
QUACKITY, DREAM SMP
Those qualities are also what make Dream the best-ever Minecraft player, according to countless videos on YouTube, where he has 10 million subscribers. Dream has held world records for Minecraft Survival mode speedruns, in which he exploits his knowledge of the game to mine materials, craft items, and beat the Ender Dragon, the biggest natural monster in the game, more quickly than anyone else. (In one run, he took a few extra seconds to name his sword “penis.” Some of Dream's speedruns are disputed; he has denied allegations of cheating.) His fame exploded in part due to his Minecraft Manhunt YouTube series, in which he raced to kill the Ender Dragon with just one life while his friends, hot in pursuit with traps and weapons, attempted to thwart him. The game is his art, and the stream is his theater.
His knowledge of Minecraft’s mechanics has given Dream SMP its own moments of high drama. A running storyline there is the “Disc Saga,” an ongoing battle to possess two rare records. TommyInnit once hid his discs deep under a mountain, live on stream but off camera so there was no visual record. As Dream searched around the mountain, he instead turned to sound, analyzing the footfalls and block-mining from his rival’s video. Like that, he captured the discs.
If all the world’s a stage, the internet is doubly so. The immense popularity of video game theater is in part due to its accessibility as free, online entertainment. More concretely though, the internet is the ocean everybody is swimming in—viewers, performers, critics, and everybody in between. The performance is diffuse across the game, across Twitch and its archived YouTube video, streamers’ Twitters (where they whine), their Instagrams (where they flex). The stage has no pit; it appears flat. Dream has never even revealed his face. To his audience of Minecraft players, he is a Minecraft elemental, and they are all enjoying the same tides.
On Doomsday, the battle for L’Manberg raged. Blocky avatars armed with swords bounced up and down across the district’s crumbling turf. Then, suddenly: “What?” yelled Tubbo, flames clouding his vision. Streams of explosives rained down; Dream had secretly installed TNT machines in the sky before the battle. The bricks comprising L’Manberg poofed out of existence. It was now a crater.

20 [M4F] , Egypt / Anywhere : looking for long-term [Friendship] or [ Relationship]

this is what players want in red dead online rockstar have no exuse now here is alot if ideas for content. and how to fix red dead online. spread this around and show rockstar what we want lets make a change and stop these terrible updates.

This email/letter needs to go to Head of Development for Red Dead Redemption 2 online: Email/letter to rockstar games how to fix Red Dead Redempton 2 online.

Before we start you might want to set different teams for each category.

Glitches and server issues: Let’s start with before the dlc we’re get to that In a minute. Now the servers are bad they need to be taken offline for a day and fixed. Lagging out is bad not as bad before the update but still not acceptable. The missions are broken and don’t start some of the time especially when you have a big gang. There’s already a lack of content but the content we do have like the missions don’t some of the time work please fix this. Please up the number of your gang to 9 please it makes no sense in gta online you could have more members for your gang and it’s a pre gen game to red dead online. The more members in your gang the more enemies in missions gang hideouts ambushes. Jobs etc. The combat diving is fine but can be spammed I recommend a 3 to 4 second delay not on how much stamina you have lad players can spam stamina tonics and dive constantly. As for the distance we’re you can see other players missions can you please make it so we can see rival missions all over the map Like in gta online. The horse bonding is also broken it constantly resets. If you make bonding with your horse take longer and see if that helps. Why is there no way to properly show down with players just put in menu option and if they accept then you show down. a three second timer comes up then you can draw and shoot but it makes you stand still and it’s free aim only. why not add that it’s a western. The worst thing is that there are no friendly blips why not do you know how many friendly fire there has been due to this easily resolved issue just put your friends in green please a lot of players are sick of shooting friends by accident. The boats have a texture glitch were what ever you ride over shows through the bottom of the boat and it takes some of the emersion away. Also there’s a problem with people that have just joined a gang not joining free mode events.

PVP Perks & Fairness: some perks make pvp impossible. The dead eye is way to easy to get hold of. The pvp is very dead eye orientated people way over use this and will become more of a problem as the game goes on. Your putting to much trust in the players hands they can’t be trusted to use something so over powered like dead eye responsibly. I don’t think your Aware that half your fan base is competitive and of course they will abuse anything and everything they can to get a kill they don’t care how unfair the pvp is with the abuse of dead eye explosive ammo explosive bow fire ammo fire bow as long as they get a kill. The perk slow and steady mixed with unblinking eye And eye for an eye. Makes the player be able to constantly have dead eye on especially when there all maxed out. It will become more and more of a problem the more people discover it. It’s always a bad idea to put a juggernaut perk or a temporary invincibility ability in a online game it will always be abused. Slippery bastard I thought was a
fair perk but of course people use it to get close then turn it off and shoot u for a cheap quick kill take it out. Or better yet have a cool down on the dead eye so people cant constantly use it all the time 3 minutes cool down seems fair. a 3 minute cool down for dead eye in general would solve the issue. Same goes for tonics 3 minutes cool down I have seen people constantly taking tonics and being unkillable especially when players mix tonic over use with the slow and steady perk. never without one it would be nice to remove it as headshots are harder for someone that’s not using it and it brings further unbalanced gameplay. if it was up to me I would have left dead eye on the story as it causes to many problems then it’s worth. I’m sorry but the varmint is still a problem I like how the accuracy has changed to Mach other long arm rifles but as I predicted the headshots are still to fast. make it 3 headshots for a kill and then people won’t use it for its non intended purpose. Explosive bullets is a bit much for this game it’s all some players use please remove explosive ammo for all types of weapons it’s just another exploit for players to abuse failing to remove them at least make it 5 shots per gun and bow. Oand make them really hard to make like animal fat and all plants please do something about the explosive ammo it can be unbearable but taking them out completely would be advised here as it helps toward anti griefing. And please make it so you can see people doing jobs all over the map not just near you this would open up more opportunities for players to ambush and have more fun with it. There’s no way to counter paid killing jobs that’s easy do what you did on gta online when u protected assassination targets from the ceo and there associates. so if a gang of players protected the targets from the paid killing gang then they get the payment for that job instead of them.

And why is the payment less for taking a rival missions. it’s harder then doing your own mission at times. it should pay more that would give more incentive to take rival missions. The dynamite time of explosion was a lot better in the first red dead please add about 5 seconds to the time of explosion as there is no time to escape the explosion thank you. I would like to suggest bare bone lobbies it’s the same online just without dead eye and no explosives or perks as there becoming such an over use for all players please balance this. Failing all of this though please give us the option to rent or buy a server so we can set our own parameters no dead eye take out perks certain weapons and ammo types and tonics. the host can boot who they want instantly stuff like this. and if we pay extra to get people in our lobbies we can have double XP in our own servers. Hardcore servers with no perks or dead eye would be grate but I’ll talk a bit more on this later. I will be explaining in more depth some of these issues later in the next paragraph.

Dead eye perks tonics and ammo tune downs: like I said in the fairness part of this letter the dead eye is over powered if this was an attempt to help low ranks then Some one did not think about high ranks taking advantage of these assists I am going to to tell you how you can adjust the over powered dead eye cards to rebalance the fairness. paint it black. you can get unrealistic shots from miles away especially if you combine the unreal range with explosive bullets. this is popular with griefers as it’s an easy kill. Tune it so the paint it black X will only work at the current guns range of which ever gun your using and the paint it black user must manually paint the target. And diving is disabled with the perk on This will make the perk more fair and not so overpowered. Now the perk slippery bastard players tend to use this to get close then turn it off to get a cheap shotgun kill if you adjust this perk so when the player turns it off the player still can’t lock into a target for another 3 seconds but the target can lock onto them therefor making the slippery bastard user really try to get a free aim kill this is far more fair and counters griefing. Slow and steady is far to over powered just adjust it so one headshot is a kill but the body is buffed. Never without one is an issue as well and can be really annoying and is a Favourite to the griefers getting rid of this perk all together is advised because it makes head shooting unbalanced a lot of players use it which is not a good thing something in a game that everyone uses means there’s a problem with that in game content and that it is not down to preference but unfair advantage. Take out perks that improve dead eye it brings more unbalance I imagine that you want a fair and fun game because as it stands the pvp is very unfair you know when a games fair when level means nothing but unfortunately people fear rank that means there’s to many higher level advantages this is a Genius game but it needs to be rebalanced.

Or just make no dead eye lobbies it is killing the game what’s the point in making a sophisticated shooting mechanic if you use dead eye all the time I don’t think you know how much damage dead eye is causing to your games PVP balance. And I don’t think you know how much your Community actually use it other wise why would you put an easily obtained advantage in your game like that if you want my honest opinion take dead eye out completely it is not worth the hassle. unfairness it brings sadness to players like I said before no dead eye lobbies where true skilled players have fun and not have to deal with negative players that over use dead eye claiming their good. I have spoken to some players who are very angry they have spent years getting good at your shooters and now there’s an instant good button AKA dead eye please give them their own lobby so they can be free of dead eye. All perks. tonic buffers and have regular ammo only call it hardcore lobby reduce the range on the auto aim though. for some players simple is better. If the game stays how it is then the game is going to be dead eye and explosives only in the future but I have a fix. I see fixing this one of three ways. One make the explosive ammo really hard to make for instance animal fat and all plants in the game doing this will decrease the amount players use and you would start to see it much less during high level PVP. Second way to fix it set the amount to five explosive rounds in a gun which means you can only carry five in one gun and no more with no reserve fat. Again you would see much less of it and players would make there explosive ammo count and not use it to grief and annoy players. Third way is to just remove them interlay same for flame rounds of course a Competitive player base will use what they can to annoy and grief then say they win because players are idiots and can’t be trusted with the simplest of power and certainly can’t be trusted with over powered use of a substance in game not to say anything bad about your company but you should have seen that coming don’t get me wrong you guys have made a grate game it just badly needs rebalancing. I can help with that. Unfortunately a notice you have to agree to play fair is not good enough some players just don’t care. Now tonics three minutes cool down just like the dead eye as mentioned earlier but make it so that heal you partially and do not buff your health. Same with the stamina tonics to no buffers and fills partially this avoids players constantly diving or put the diving to a delay of 3 to 4 seconds not to how much stamina you have as the stamina tonics can be abused aswell which means constant diving. And obviously dead eye tonics and buffers dead eye should not have a buffer it shoulder even be refilled you had it good in the first game where you had to find a camp to refill it now it’s constantly available and of course abused. So here’s the over view put all tonics on a three minute timer after each use and don’t have them buff the player only give the player Partial benefits from each tonic type or just take them out completely. Dead eye either make it really hard to obtain and put a three minute timer after each use. Take out any perks that buff the use of dead eye and that never without one perk has to go everyone is using it that means there’s an over powered feature with that perk and everyone thinks there up by using it please get rid of it.

What went wrong and how to improve it: the reason why your getting so much hate the first dlc is because you promised what you did not deliver you kept the community waiting extra time for most of the content. that’s pouring salt on the wound. surly you knew this was going to annoy your fan base. people feel as if you are trying to annoy them but don’t worry I have a fix. release the content you said you would all of it not drip fed. And you never drop feed the first dlc anyway bad call by all means drip feed the 6th dlc but never the first one. then three new missions for all the strangers to access. the bounty system it’s bad getting a bounty without the cops seeing you makes no sense and it’s a killing tax more then anything. Put it so the cops have to see you do it to have a bounty. or a witness gets away this was obviously changed last second to counter griefing but it was a bad call. make it just like the story mode when it comes to bounty’s and if a players bounty gets to high this gives players a bounty poster at the sheriffs office all over the map. players can access it then go after the bounty player as this makes it feel more alive and real along with AI bounty hunters trying to kill you and take your bounty too. Speaking of bounty hunters they come after you way to frequently and why is it a screen that pops up. Make it like the story were they come after you Subtly like for example you could be hunting and then you look on your map and there’s a gang of bounty hunters tracking you then you kill that gang of bounty hunters it’s over the higher your bounty the bigger the gang of bounty hunters come after you. And if your bounty gets really high say 50 dollars and above you get multiple bounty hunter gangs that come after you. it was a bad call to restrict the missions when your bounty is to high that means players have to pay the bounty off to play the game. It is in your best interest to remove that restriction as it frustrates players that want to become wanted and have a big price on their head but you paid people to voice act. So if your bounty is to high at least up the mission restriction of your bounty to 100 bucks even 50 bucks makes more sense rather then outlaws not talking to you because you got 10 bucks on your head makes no sense. I like how you made the blips disappear over long distance but it would make more sense to make the blips pink and then darken to red since both of those colours are on the same spectrum. And this even was a bit unnecessary. just have an option to disappear from a greifers map when they kill u. And Why did you add an invisible timer to missions and gang hideouts you got to remove that as because some missions are far and if you don’t get there fast enough or do it fast enough it fails really get rid of it again it’s an unnecessary restriction. Do all that then people would back off. A camp chest is an awesome idea there’s upgrades for ur camp and u can give some of it to members if they need it. there’s a register system that keeps track of members that put money and Jewellry in the chest and money that leaves the chest just make sure that only the leader can deal with money leaving the box. loansharking was so good on the story why not bring it online loan sharking dlc. townsfolk farmers and the like can lend money from ur camp and if there late on the payment then u can send members of your gang to rough them up a bit to get the money off them or take belongings that add up to the payment and interest of course. some lenders are tougher then others some might even have people with them. your gang can choose to let them keep it or collect the debt which would bring an honour situation to it. And if one of ur members decide to forget/forgive the debt then it comes out of there money.

Now the camp is bare I suggest putting in some chores like the story chopping wood carrying hay to the horse hitching area. feeding chickens cleaning up horse dung carrying water from the pump to your gangs tents to earn some xp around the camp. Also I was thinking of a bottle shooting range at the camp to give players target practice. And to unlock the new chores the leader needs to pay to upgrade the camp from the chest. You can also pay to put in a chicken coop water pump more hitching posts wood chopping Stuff like that. And available for purchase at your camp would be a finger fillet table and dominoes table. and your gang can repair stuff around the camp for XP aswell this would give more reason to going to your camp the more busy the player the more happy the player. Customising the camp by getting hunting pelts like in the story would be good also.

It would be nice to buy gifts for your friends/gang by having the option to buy something in the shop or send as gift to someone’s account via the post office treasure maps included. The trapper from story mode should be the one giving out hunting missions around the map because that’s what he’s all about and players can do special challenges to earn unique outfits sell him pelts and buy hunting gear arrows bullets etc. How about your camp is attacked by a known gang to the area where your camp is you get a warning to get back to the camp ASAP. You can fast travel back to camp aswell giving more reason for to buy fast travel post. if you don’t attend to the camp some of your money from the camp money chest is gone linking this to the loansharking dlc I spoke about earlier.

Future content and fillings: more gambling games is needed as money serves a purpose in this red dead rather then the last one. The gambling games would include liars dice black jack dominos and finger fillet. Place them were they all happen in the story will be fine. And have the option to do them all at camp would be a grate improvement even to Customise the camp gambling tables and card sets. Also the storage train is a bit pointless but if you put an AI gang on the train is selling guns at one of the stations or a secluded area on the track and you could take the train and sell them yourself then it gives it more purpose and of course other players can take it off you so they can sell it instead. In the free roam. (Not a free mode event) This gives the train purpose. And add people Carrier trains to rob with your gang. your character does not need to speak for this to happen as people know why there’s masked robbers on the train. a Native American dlc with headdresses face paints carvings for your bow hair styles etc. Now I know there’s gang hideouts and ambushes but why not have a third. how about an AI gang will come after you aswell this will break up those long rides to the next mission. Heists would be a big dlc with more guns clothes masks etc. i recommend for that dlc to bring out the Henry repeater. These heists are a jewellery heist in Saint Denis were you need to smash open glass cases while holding up the place would be a nice touch. A bank Heist in valentine Rhodes and Saint Denis. The heists in gta online we’re a bit disappointing only the first and last heists were actual heists. So please make these all robbery heists. And make it so you can do the heists in the free mode giving other players the chance to rob you of your score When you and your gang are out of the bank (explosives dead eye and tonics don’t work in this activity we want it fair) and of course there’s a long cool down after a bank robbery. Why is it we have to buy a whole new gun for a special paint job/engraving. You might as well make the paint job/engraving available for purchase in gun shops for the gun you already have. Please make it possible to rob shops this will make going to town more tense and exciting. Wagons you see on the road with the lock boxes. There’s not much point going after them because they have the same loot canned food and bullets or assorted biscuits and and bullets having more variety to loot would give more point to loot them for example money clips jewellery treasure maps bag of coins tonics horse tonics and sometimes nothing it’s all a big gamble.

And the wagons with the white sheet covering the top with the to chests in the back have nothing in them please fill these with random loot as stopping them is pointless there’s never anything in the two chests in the wagon make this happen for all wagons actually so you can get lucky or there could be nothing it’s hard to fill like a bandit when there is no point stopping wagons.

You guys know what you did in gta online with the bank trucks. Well how about an armoured bank wagon to open it you set dynamite to the back off it or near the back and blow it through igniting or shooting it. Then money bags come out but these ones you just walk over and it’s in your money balance And as a nice touch three loot boxes one on the back and one on each side with jewellery and money clips and coin bags inside maybe even a jewellery collectible. A gold bar wagon aswell to add to the free mode fun. the Players get a notice saying there’s a bank wagon headed towards valentine Rhodes saint Denise strawberry or black water this gives players an intense fight over the wagon. (Not a free roam event) On show down series theres a problem with the teams when you join a team it says it locks but it don’t it locks for players to move to another team but then it auto corrects the teams which is really annoying when your trying to play with friends and crew. You pulled it off in gta iv because the system was wat ever team you choose that was your team it did not auto correct after. It was bad in gta online as well playing on the same team as your friends and crew was a nightmare please have it so if the teams lock they lock not auto corrects after thank you. We need a trading system to sell animal fat to players or trade supplies food tonics treasure maps and other stuff. A bucket wagon for carcasses and fish nets to put on the side of your horse this would increase the amount of carcasses fish that we could bring to the butcher and will make a lot of players happy. People are complaining about their characters changing just give everyone the option to change once like when u reached level 8 on gta online. I know your putting random encounters in from the story mode awesome grate idea hopefully we can choose to do the gd thing or the bad thing or just shoot them would be grate that adds more choice and makes the game feel more alive. One more filler if the AI gangs in red dead had a few caravan escorts. Can you put a rob button on the passengers of trams as well as trains please as trying to loot people on the tram is hard.

Online businesses such as tobacco. moonshine. Or munitions. Would be a nice touch on money making. Taking stolen wagons the Emerald ranch for a bit of cash would give even more reason to stopping them. To counter people’s destroy supplies missions other players have to protect it same goes for payed killing jobs as mentioned earlier. We need more contacts for missions. Lemoyn is fine we need 1 more contact in ambarino 2 more in big valley 3 more in the heartlands 2 more in annesburge 1 more in van horn trading post 1 more in grate plains and 2 more in new Austin. Possible contact characters Native American at the wapati reservation his start mission could be a paid killing he has American Patriots after him and you and your gang kill them to save him. A younger Nigel west dickens at the edge of armadillo his start mission is to destroy rival tonic wagons that are claiming to cure armadillo. A younger Landon rickets new Austin/Mexico his start mission is a rescue to save civilians from a cage being held for ransom by bandits. More stranger missions please and can we have a choice where to take them for example drop them at there destination for money and good honour. or take them to the Murphy gang or if your over the other side of the map the skinner brothers for a bit more money but a massive dishonour penalty this brings choice and consequence to the stranger encounters. Another idea with the gang hideouts is sometimes you will find money bags with 20 to 50 bucks in them because the gang you killed could of recently done a robbery this would bring more excitement and reason to do them. I would like to see the night people more involved as it would bring a more creepy feeling to the night time of the game all over the map and would make a grate stranger encounter. The KKK as well as interrupting their rituals is really fun. Players I have spoken to would like to see more mystery to the online for example cigarette cards. Dinosaur bones. Rock carvings dream catchers that kind of thing so players can spend hours looking for them. This gives more purpose to the free mode. A selection of lanterns and fishing rods would be nice colours length styles would be grate. What would be grate is a stockpile of ammo at camp so the leader buys a lot of ammo and can store it at camp and the other gang members can take from the stockpile A grate idea for part of a munitions dlc introduced by shaky.

More diverse stranger encounters example. You see two factions fighting US army vs native Americans

And which ever one you shoot first you automatically are friendly with the team your not shooting at. A stranger Encounter where bandits have taken over the annesburge mine and you and your gang have to go in there and take them all out. Also having a prospector sieving for gold and if you rob him you get 20 to 50 nuggets. Speaking of gold how about twice a week a train carrying a large shipment of gold and if you stop it and kill the industrialists on it then you can rob the duffle bags of gold from the train but of course rival players can steal the gold aswell. Custom gun straps for your long arms colours Materials buckles on the strap. To be able to Customise your hat with stuff on it hanging off it stuff like that. Another mission idea is destroy supplies by steam boat ok so the steam boat you can drive if you put ur whole gang on it then you can destroy product on other steam boats around flat iron lake and there’s product on the little Islands aswell the surrounding Islands bringing more purpose to the steam boat. New prisoner mission type you need to save them from a chain gang. A sniper cover mission were your payed to provide sniper watch over a meet or robbery or some kind of situation.

Frontier pursuits dlc. Ok there’s enough content here for the game to start off with now but there’s a lot more that needs to be done. We’re start with the movement for some reason the movement has been sped up why? it did not need this now we have people fast crouch running aka crabing that makes sniping impossible if your worried about first person bing faster while sniping what needed to be done is to force players to stand still while down a scope as no one ever snipes running side to side in real life you know if your going for realism. plus third person was there first why match third person the first person. alot of players are angry at this point. if first person is this much trouble get rid of it. In fact what I would recommend is to slow down the movement to single player move style much more realisticand not to mention emrsive the single player is what players enjoyed the most you need to aim to mach it not drift away from it. There’s a god mode in the game if you combine the perks iron lung/fool
me once/slow and steady with health tonic abuse you are unkillable this is a massive problem and needs addressing Immediately. I have said before the tonics are a huge problem and are just better gone there not worth the trouble they bring. Sometimes when you got to sale as a trader the wagon spawns under the map and can’t be obtained. There’s no way to move the legendary bounty target from the board to do your three $$$ bounty there needs to be an option to lift the legendary bounty poster up to do your three $$$ target not every one is a grinder.

economy is a problem in red dead online when you have alot of money the game seems pointless so i have two ideas to fix this issue one you should have prestige unlockes heres how it would work. now when you prestige you need to reach level 100 minimam now say you reach 10 grand in game players should have the chance to trade in that money for points the points would work like this every 1000 bucks in game is 100 prestige points. when you prestige the money you have will convert into points. call it legendary points that you can use to buy prestige clothes gun skins horse types ect but make sure that theres alot to buy in the legandery prestige shop make these items very expensive this would help make the game last much longer and give perpose to money making overall once agein. iv spoken to alot of gamers and they all say the money is pointless once you have everything you need. which makes future busienesses pointless aswell so players feel they are in a loop of buying a business to make money they no longer need or wont have any use for. either this or second option is to reset everyones money to 500 bucksnot not a favarible choice i understand but you can say that people cheated money and that you have now fixed the issue and there will be no more resets. each have your stranger jobs pay 5 to 8 bucks each and the skin and moonshine sales earn you about 30 to 70 bucks per delivery. becouse right now every stranger job pays 20+ bucks dont get me wrong its nice to earn money but not if it means making the game pointless also up the hourse keep to 20 bucks per stable add a horse groomer fee of 10 bucks aswell. when you sell skins cripps gets a cut for his hard work and when you sell moonshine maggie and mercie get a fair cut. there needs to be way more expense otherwise the money is really pointless. like i mentioned earlier a camp box where your gang can deposite some of there ernings is a good idea just like the story mode they can choose money or jewllery and the ernings the box goes to upgrading your camp but
make the upgrades very expensive also like i the story. you should add the camp customisations as long as you have the right animal materials which only the boss can change but anyone can bring in the right animal materials. if your caught with a high bounty you should pay every dime of it and spend longer days in game in jail but be able to attempt a bribe at any time.

Please rockstar read the advise I have given you please use it this will improve the game so much and will make it more fair and fun please don’t take advise from the griefing community they will only better the game for there selfish needs and will make the game a chore not an enjoyment they won’t sacrifice anything. I’m bettering it for everyone and I am willing to sacrifice a lot of things in the process like perks money even gold and the like if it means improving the game on so many levels if you have read this thank you and please do the right thing. A lot of people are saying that you want to counter griefing but then put all this griefer stuff in the game dead eye explosive bullets etc. I have always been a big fan and only want you to succeed. I know I’m only one voice but I’m a voice of reason. a voice of good and only want to enjoy gaming and to make it as fair as possible. it can be changed please make it for the better. You have done an amazing job with red dead redemption and I want to help you maintain that online this is the formula on how to maintain that perfect game. I know I’m one guy but I speak for a lot of people. I have given you a lot to work with. All of this information is mainly me but some ideas are from all kinds of red dead online players. This is only the tip of the ice burge of lots of ideas and advise. You could even claim all this to be your idea I don’t mind. As long as it improves the game I am more then willing to have a chat or even meet a team from rockstar to discuss some ideas and the future of red dead online. Jack’s Industries thanks all of rockstar games for reading this.
all i ask in return is a pureist or hardcore freemode without perks tonics dead eye and only reguler ammo for all guns please make this mode as i enjoy fair gamplay not who can abuse dead eye tonics perk cards and explosive rounds the best.

Info for contact

Email: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])

Xbox live gamer tag: TJKI Governor

Beginner Viewer's Guide to GTA RP / NoPixel (What it is, what viewers should know, and glossary)

I am not a NoPixel staff member. I'm just a random person.
Pleased let me know if there's any mistakes or important info I am missing!
This guide is intended for new viewers to GTA RP. So you've never heard of GTA RP or NoPixel, are wondering why it's popular, and/or are looking for answers to some frequently asked questions, check this out!
What this guide covers

Explains what this niche of entertainment is
Some important rules viewers should know about
Glossary of popular slang/terms used by the roleplayers (Mostly GTA RP specific, and not necessarily every internet/Twitch slang)

This guide is NOT the following

Not a list of favourite streamers or "must-watch characters"
Not the place to discuss or ask questions related to what's going on with the server or characters (There's another thread for that).
Not a guide to actually playing on NoPixel (you'll want to see the official NoPixel website for that)

What is GTA RP and why is it popular?

GTA is an abbreviation of the video game Grand Theft Auto, and specifically refers to the latest game at the time of writing, Grand Theft Auto 5.
RP stands for 'role-play', and you likely already know what that is: The act of assuming a role for various purposes, usually entertainment in this context.
GTA RP is essentially an gigantic long-running improv show. Players create their own characters, complete with whatever personalities, quirks, and backstories they come up with. Think of it as actors creating a role for themselves to play.
The characters then interact with other characters and inevitably end up creating storylines of all kinds of variety, whether it be short hour-long arcs, or long storylines lasting months/years, and ranging in tone from humorous and light-hearted to downright serious and meticulous.
Unlike most video games, there is no real 'goal' or 'victory' to chase. The point of GTA RP is simply to, well, role-play. This means that while characters have their own agendas and reasons for doing whatever activities with whatever other characters, the point is not to 'reach an ending' or 'farm X/Y/Z' as you would see in many other video games.
The popularity stems from the dynamics of the improv - because there's generally no planned 'scripts', people just keep creating situations on their own. Good role players will end up creating character arcs and growth to go along with new scenarios (not unlike seasons or episodes of an actual TV show), but again it's all improv which means there's lots of room for surprises and unpredictability.
In addition, the ability for viewers to interact with streamers live means a better opportunity to be involved in a community and be invested in favourite characters or players.

Helpful Resources

Official website: https://www.nopixel.net/upload/index.php
List of streamers who play on NoPixel (including live): https://nopixel.hasroot.com/
NoPixel Community Wiki (info on characters): https://nopixel.fandom.com/wiki/NoPixel_Community

What do I need to know as a viewer? Can I tell the players X/Y/Z information?

There are 3 important rules every viewer should abide by:

Do not Meta (tell players information their character did not know or find out about in-game)
Be nice to the players
Do not backseat game

As a viewer, the most important thing you need to do is to not meta.
In simple terms, Meta in GTA RP means informing players about things their character did not find out in-game. An example is telling a player out-of-character (OOC) that another group is planning a trap for his/her character. The player was not supposed to know and now the roleplay may be affected as the player's decision making and enjoyment is now affected by outside information he/she was not supposed to know.
Meta essentially ruins roleplay since at best, it ruins surprises and dynamic roleplay (since the player knows things he/she is not supposed to know). At worst, it really ruins things if a player uses this OOC information to purposely gain advantages or circumvent events that would have happened.
Not sure if what you're about to say is meta? Don't say it.
The other important thing is to be nice to the players. While it can be fun to be invested in the players and characters, ultimately, they are actors playing in a virtual world. At the end of the day, it is role play. Do not belittle or otherwise be toxic to players who do not necessarily do what you want them to do - It's essentially the same as being pissed off an actor instead of the character. This also applies to "stream hopping" and spreading negativity around multiple players - it is just a video game and people are acting for entertainment, so there should be no need to trash talk or be negative to others.
Backseating, or backseat gaming, is also discouraged. While this varies depending on the streameplayer, most of the time people do not appreciate constantly being critiqued on how one "should play", especially in RP. Sometimes backseating can also be interpreted as Meta, and ultimately tends to affect players and roleplay negatively.
Do not forget that roleplaying is not a competitive venture - characters are expected to rise and fall, win and lose, repeatedly. Sometimes they're the star of some crazy events, sometimes they're the victims or catalysts in these events. So do not fret if your favourite characters "win" or "lose" - it's just RP.

What is NoPixel? Is it different from normal GTA Online?

NoPixel is the name of a custom GTA5 server that is not owned by Rockstar, the developers of the original game series. Instead, it is a server run entirely through volunteer work from people who are not necessarily affiliated with the game company. NoPixel has practically nothing to do with the official GTA multiplayer, known as GTA Online.
NoPixel uses a mod called FiveM, which is generally a mod required to play on multiplayer, dedicated GTA servers. NoPixel itself was founded by Koil, who at the time of writing still functions as the server's owner, as well as a developecoder and community leader of the server. He does not run it alone however, as there is a circle of trusted individuals who help Koil maintain the server in terms of both software and community developments. For example, these admins generally oversee and ship out new changes to the server, as well as being responsible for dishing out punishments like bans.
NoPixel is widely regarded as one of the best and most popular GTA RP servers to play on, thanks to the hard work that has been spent on making it a functional and fun server. It began fairly small with low player slots and limited content, but has since expanded massively. In recent times it has attracted many players, including popular streamers/actors/etc. to its ranks over the years. The maximum capacity of player slots has increased over time and there are hopes it will one day go above 100, maybe even 150+ players at a time.
The server itself plays very differently than official GTA Online, as after all it is a customized server to role play on. Thus, it has its own mechanics and quirks despite using GTA as the 'base game'. While it seems to play the same as GTA, almost every aspect of the 'base game' is different in NoPixel.

So what actually is GTA RP? What exactly are the players doing? Give me the details.

As mentioned before, GTA RP is basically a long-running improv show. Players create their own characters, complete with whatever personalities, quirks, and backstories they come up with. Think of it as actors creating a role for themselves to play.
Then, out in the GTA5 world (known as the city of Los Santos), they interact with other players. The mechanics of the game, as well as the rules for role-playing, depends on the server. In NoPixel specifically, the 'gameplay' is modified from the base game to facilitate role-play. This means an economy system is in place where players can earn, spend, and lose money as well as trade items. There are various 'jobs' ranging from police, emergency medical services (EMS), taxi drivers, lawyers, house realtors, or even criminals. Players can visit clothing stores to customize their characters and create outfits. They can even change their animations, walking style, and facial expressions through in-game interfaces, allowing them to express themselves appropriately to facilitate role-play!
While there are certain roles that are more 'baked-in' to NoPixel's systems, such as police, a lot of other activities/roles are generally improvised by players. For example, players can be taxi drivers and be paid by other players to ferry them around. Criminals can attempt to rob stores and banks, and hopefully get away from police players, lest they face legal repercussions like jail. Some players can get their hands on drugs and sell it to other players. Judges and lawyers can work on court cases involving many players. EMS help find and retrieve players who are 'downed' or injured, and Doctors can role-play helping out with serious injuries and operations. Police patrol around looking to stop crime, whether it's mundane traffic violations or serious threats in the case of criminal players robbing valuables or kidnapping other players.
The list goes on, and remember that not everything is cut and dry, as there is a lot of creative endeavours pursued by players all the time. Recent examples includes gang territories and gang wars, terrorist organizations with motives against police forces, artists and music labels creating entertainment (that ends up as real songs that you can listen to on Soundcloud), and more!
There is no real 'goal' or 'winning' in GTA RP. The point of GTA RP is not to go after some sort of victory or completion like one would in a standard video game - instead, it is to improv characters living out their lives and interacting with other characters. When things go right, this means one can expect all sorts of storylines and shenanigans, ranging from humorous and quirky to downright serious and meticulous.

So how detailed is the world in NoPixel? Specific mechanics used in role play?

NoPIxel is a fairly detailed GTA RP server, essentially having its own customized interface to work with. Some of the mechanics players use in the game include:

Health: Every character has a simple health bar to maintain, but NoPixel also throws in conditional injuries as well. Characters can get serious injuries to various body parts like head, spine, arms, and legs. Serious injuries can cause gameplay effects (like slowing movement, or causing 'blackouts'), and often force one to seek medical aid as it inevitably will continue to decrease their health.
Food/water: Every character has a simple hungethirst meter to top off on occasion, encouraging characters to seek out stores or interactions.
Money: Every character has their own finances/bank account to deal with. Everyone passively receives a small amount of money every so often. Money can be earned in various ways, and also spent (or forcibly lost!) in other ways. Most of the time money is spent on in-game mechanics, such as buying items. However, players are free to trade away with others, so money can also be used to facilitate role-play.
Jobs/roles: Some crucial roles like police and EMS are limited in maximum capacity due to their nature of their work (and maintaining 'server balance'). Various 'official jobs' in the game generate income by doing tasks repeatedly, such as towing cars and police salaries. However, most of the time roles are improvised by players and often facilitated by player interactions (Ex. Strip club staff getting money from patrons, drug dealers selling to other players, taxi drivers being paid by other players, musical artists performing to an audience, etc.). As mentioned before, players usually improvise and find creative activities to do regardless of whether or not it involves direct mechanics from the game.
Items, vehicles, and property: There is a vast amount of things to spend money on. Items are vast in variety ranging from food to weapons. Vehicles can be purchased outright or financed, with recurring weekly payments required by the character to keep their vehicle if financed. Similarly, housing properties can also be bought - they tend to be fairly expensive and each 'house' has a unique owner. Properties are particularly versatile as it serves as a safe location to store one's goods and vehicles, and can facilitate role-play as house owners can, at their discretion, allow guests or even give out 'keys' to allow more permanent access to houses.
...And more, which you'll discover and learn as you watch your favourite role-players! For example, players can actually be hand-cuffed, there's gameplay benefits/downsides from certain drugs, vehicles can be customized/upgraded/modded and can also be damaged and repaired. There are large redesigned areas and buildings including a custom hospital, jail, and mechanics workshop....and much much more!

What are the rules in NoPixel? Can players do whatever they want?

I will not be covering every single rule here.
NoPixel is regarded as one of the best GTA RP servers out there because of its strict rules and enforcement of said rules. While there's a great deal of freedom in RP, there are plenty of rules that help facilitate role-play and prevent it from being a chaotic mess. The official rules may be seen on the actual NoPixel website, though you will need to register to see anything there.
Otherwise, here's a screenshot of some rules, though this is not up to date: https://imgur.com/a/N5HFpfj
You don't necessarily need to read everything if you're not a player. However, below are a few important rules that the players will be obeying, which can be helpful to know as a viewer.
No Meta
As stated above in "What do I need to know as a viewer?" section.
No abusing game exploits or mechanics
Self explanatory. If you're actually playing on NoPixel you'll want to check the official rules for more details. As a viewer it basically just means you won't see players abusing exploits or mechanics to gain an advantage or circumvent appropriate RP. Examples include 'phasing' through walls, abusing unlimited resource bugs (like ammo), or logging out of the game abruptly during active situations.
Value your life (and others to high extent), and initiate before killing
This rule is one of the major cornerstones in preventing NoPixel from devolving into a chaotic mess. The 'value your life' rule basically means all characters must act appropriately when their life is threatened, similar to how one would react in real life. This means if your character has guns pointed at him/her, you cannot simply rush your attackers with melee attacks, nor try to pull out a weapon when said guns are still pointed at you. This also means that you must comply with appropriate demands - for example, if you are walking on a street and some criminals suddenly pull up with guns in order to kidnap you for hostage situations, your character should 'value their life' by raising their hands and comply with their demands to get in their car.
It is against the rules (also likely to prevent violating Twitch terms of service) to role-play suicidal characters seriously - this means no threatening to jump off buildings to die in a serious and depressing fashion, for example. Your character also has to demonstrate 'valuing life' by not constantly threatening their own, or others characters, lives. This means no purposely driving into players walking around, nor spraying bullets everywhere. Such actions are referred to as Random Deathmatch (RDM) or Vehicular Deathmatch (VDM) - basically killing people randomly. You cannot simply kill people without warning and without some sort of initiation. The only exception is when the players agree on a condition for attacking each other without warning every time (Ex. gang wars and entering a rival's 'turf').
Note that murders can still occur in RP, but these are facilitated through role-play. There are criminals with known murder records for example, but in these cases again the players facilitated role-play rather than randomly killing people they saw on the streets without warning.
Rule of 4
Most crime activities only allows a maximum of 4 players in a 'squad'. This means that only a max of 4 players may work together to, say, rob a bank together. This also applies in indirect help - in the same example, this group of 4 cannot have additional players on the same radio channel helping out via 'call-outs'.
This rule is to help prevent chaos and prevent essential services like Police and EMS, from being overwhelmed. Note that this tends to apply mostly to criminal activities - many other activities such as hosting a concert or car show to an audience of far larger than 4 people, are allowed.
Protocols for certain jobs
Some roles have protocols for how the players should act. Police and EMS are particularly detailed with standard operating protocols (SOPs) and special rules regarding interactions as well as what other players can do with them.
These can get quite detailed, so I'll only mention some of them. Police have quite high requirements as players must apply for it much like a real job - this includes applications as well as in-character interviews. Those who pass can begin training from current police officers, and learn all the rules and protocols that come with being a cop. Similar to real life, police in NoPixel have specific protocols to follow, such as using specific radio calls and procedures on how to deal with various situations like breaching, hostage negotiations, chases, etc.
The police themselves have a structural hierarchy of positions.
EMS are generally exempt from chaotic situations for the sake of server health - this means no shootouts and crazy tomfoolery at the hospital, and very rarely can EMS be kidnapped or harmed unless they are off-duty.
Downed states and Death
Player characters can lose all their health and enter a 'downed' state, where they need to be revived through medical RP. This commonly is done by other players alerting EMS players, who then retrieve the downed players and bring them to the hospital for treatment.
Players who are downed also have an option of forcefully respawning themselves at the hospital after waiting 5 or so minutes while downed. Doing so however means the character must 'forget' and have no memory of the events leading to their 'death'. It also tends to cost their inventory and money, discouraging people from abusing this mechanic.
This should only be used when it makes sense or when technical issues cause problems. For example, if a player is killed secretly and dumped in the ocean, with no way of anyone nearby to report the crime, the player can decide to force respawn (since it makes sense no one can call for EMS). However this character would have no memory of what happened, and so after respawning would have to act like he/she woke up from a blackout and have no idea who committed a 'murder' against them.
Player characters can only be permanently retired (also known as 'perma') based on the controlling player's decision - in other words only you can decide if you want to 'perma' your own character, not anyone else. Due to the investment/effort in building up characters, 'perma' deaths of established characters are very rare, and thus this is why you will see characters still alive despite having been 'killed' multiple times over the span of months and years.
No violating Terms of Service (TOS), and use common sense with touchy subjects
Rules also apply for the sake of the players having a good time, as well as streamers not being punished for weird things that could cause them to be banned from their source of income. This means a lack of RP that would violate TOS on platforms such as Twitch....which goes hand-in-hand with using common sense when it comes to touchy subjects. Uncomfortable topics like suicide, sexual acts or crimes, nudity, etc. are generally not allowed.

Frequently Asked Questions

More may be added over time.
There's a lot of history and stories I've missed out. How do I catch up?

The NoPixel Wiki is probably the easiest way to catch up on summaries of various characters. https://nopixel.fandom.com/wiki/NoPixel_Community. Note that details will vary depending on the character, as more popular characters tend to have far more fleshed out details compared to lesser known ones.

Why do people suddenly act silly and break rules at very specific points in time (tsunami / server reset)?

At specific time points of each day (usually every 8 or so hours), a server reset occurs, also known in-character as a "tsunami". Essentially since people know a server reset is coming, usually a lot of tomfoolery happens in the last 5 minutes leading up to it. This results in people getting silly with breaking character and the rules, such as friends engaging in mass shootouts or performing extreme stunts with vehicles. Note that in an active situation that started well before a server reset may still be pursued and considered serious, so a server reset cannot be used to ruin RP in that sense. An example is a car chase that started earlier and is still on-going by the time a server reset happens - in which case players must try to log back in and verify on what to do (usually resuming a chase or calling it off).

Why is there a lack of variety in weapons?

As mentioned above, there must be initiation before attacks and fights can occur. NoPixel has removed or restricted a lot of the dangerous weapons you normally would have access to in regular GTA, including many explosives and long ranged military weaponry like sniper rifles, RPGs, tanks, and aircraft. For obvious reasons such powerful weaponry and vehicles would basically make initiation in RP pretty difficult, not to mention can cause incredible chaos as seen in regular GTA Online. Many of these are excluded in NoPixel, and using these if they're able to be found in-game (some restricted areas have fighter jets for example) is generally a bannable offence.

Why are characters able to constantly 'die' and keep coming back?

See above section about downed states and death.

Are famous people playing this or have played on NoPixel before?

Yes. I will not be listing all the celebrities here, as it would be a disservice to the streamers who in their own right can be considered celebrities or famous (or the other way around - favouring some streamers and content creators over others). But yes, many popular people, whether they're streamers, actors, wrestlers, or other professions, have played or are currently playing in NoPixel. You may know some from TV shows and movies, and you may know some from internet venues such as Twitch and Youtube.

Are there plans to expand NoPixel to other games, like Red Dead Redemption 2?

NoPixel seems to be continuously updating and thriving. There are plans to eventually create a NoPixel RDR2 RP server as well.

GTA RP terms/glossary

A glossary of commonly used terms you may hear players use in-game. Most of these are specific to GTA RP, as I won't be covering every common internet/game/streaming terms. More may be added over time, and will be sorted alphabetically eventually.

Scuff: Slang for something that's broken. Ex. "That car is scuffed, let's use another one". Can also be used to refer to a person's competency, ability, or technical issues on a player's end. Ex: "I'm scuffed right now, I can't see any objects right now".
Head, eyes, vocal chords, etc.: NoPixel players use slang to refer to real life components, in character. This usually is in the form of an appropriate body part in character, that coincides with a real life component. This helps with referring to technical issues without breaking character too badly.

'Eyes' depends on context as it has multiple meanings. It can refer to either the player looking through first-person view in the game, or can refer to a player's visual settings in the game. Ex. "Look through your eyes and check this out!" (Go into first-person and check this out). "I'm having trouble with my eyes, things are looking really blocky and bright." (I am having problems with my game visuals).
It can also refer to a player's perspective and sync'ing up with the server. Ex. "In my eyes, you totally crashed." (Server desync issue where you see things occurring differently compared to other players).
Head usually refers to a player's computer or computer programs. Ex. "Ahh my head exploded!" (the game just crashed). "I just got a headache." (game temporarily froze or had frame rate issues). It can also be used to refer to a person dealing with things out of character. Ex. "Hold on I'm in my head" (Hold on, I'm doing something in real life, such as talking to my viewers, fixing something with my computer, AFK, etc.)
Vocal chords usually refer to a player's microphone. Ex. "Something's wrong with your vocal chords, you're really quiet" (Something is wrong with your mic).

Tsunami: 'Immersive' slang for a server reset, where the server resets and all players are kicked out. Ex. "Are you going to be around after the tsunami (server reset)?", "Tsunami's happening in 10 minutes.". Server resets in NoPixel occur regularly at specific time intervals every day. It should be noted that a lot of tomfoolery occurs within 5 or so minutes of a server reset happening, so you may see players break character and 'break rules' just before a server reset (ex. friends shooting each other for fun).
Train / Train ticket: 'Immersive' slang referring to the queue/priority system. Often used to refer to a player attempting to log in. Ex. "My train ticket is pretty bad (my priority is low), so it takes a while for me to get into the city", "She's currently on the train but she's got a good ticket, she'll be back soon".
The city / in town: 'Immersive' slang referring to the game's world, the city of Los Santos. Most often used by characters referring to if another character is present (basically if another player is online). Ex "My friend is not in the city at the moment" "She's actually in the city right now, want to call her?"
Sleeping / dreaming: Slang referring to players who are offline, in which case their characters are referred to as either sleeping or out of the city. Characters can also say they were 'dreaming' of different scenarios, to reference the fact that the player has been doing something else outside of NoPixel, or were playing a different character in NoPixel. Ex "I was dreaming of fighting in a fantasy land" (I was playing a fantasy game), "I'm gonna go to sleep, and maybe dream about being a cop or something" (I'm going off my current character, and might play as a different character in the server).
ERP: Erotic Role Play. Sometimes cheekily called "Egg Roll Platter". Players will refer to sexual acts (whether vague or not) as ERP, though note that purposely silly things like flirting in a funny manner can be referred to as ERP. Ex. Encountering player animations of 'sitting' on another in a suggestive manner, or hearing suggestive dialogue. Note that there are rules against sexual content for the sake of NoPixel and Twitch rules, so hopefully most ERP encountered in-game is of the humorous and vague kind, rather than a real dating/sexual service.
Macking: A term referring to flirting or making sexual advances towards another individual. In NoPixel context it is often used jokingly and is synonymous with ERP. Ex "Are you macking on my sister?" "He's been macking all night with everyone he sees".
OOC: Out-of-Character. Refers to anything outside of the game. Commonly used by actual players and viewers, rather than in-character dialogue. Ex. "My character got beat up but OOC I thought this scenario was awesome", "She's busy OOC so her character is stepping down from this position". Players can also type messages in-game through an OOC interface, in case they need to communicate to others out of character.
ICU: Intensive Care Unit. Players can decide, after encountering serious injuries, to go into ICU rather than revive as normal after being treated at a hospital. This is typically played out as a character going into a coma. A character put into ICU is temporarily retired until the player decides to 'wake up' the character and resumes playing them again. A character can be put into ICU for various reasons, whether for dramatic purposes or simply because the player wants to take a break but does not want to retire a character permanently (known as 'perma').
Perma: Slang for 'permanent death'. In NoPixel only the players themselves can decide if they want to retire a character permanently - in other words you yourself decide, as other players' actions cannot force you to retire a character. Due to investment required to build up a character, this is usually rare, but also serves as a very dramatic event when it does happen. If a character is truly 'perma'd', the character is presumed dead and will never come back unless interesting RP allows it (Ex. A player acting like a 'ghost' to a certain other character). Sometimes players can decide to make a death temporary for the sake of RP or they don't want to permanently retire a character, Ex. A character is supposedly killed and the body dumped, but months later the character makes a recovery and eventually shows up again. However this is generally discouraged - a declared perma is usually something you cannot go back on.
Permathon: Slang combining 'perma' and 'marathon'. Generally an event where a player decides to play newly created characters with the intention of a short lifespan and humorous, silly actions. These characters generally do silly things with the intention of eventually getting killed in various scenarios. When one character dies, the player makes another one and continues the spree, hence the 'marathon' portion. This is normally not a normal way of playing RP, and is often reserved for special events (Ex. A streamer celebrating "subathons" or a birthday).
Locals: 'Immersive' slang for non-player characters (NPCs) in the game world. Locals generally serve as a way to keep the city from feeling too empty. However, they will call in crimes (notify police players) if they witness guns or violence in public areas, and often are used as a way to grab a car for transportation for criminal players (by killing or 'holding up' the NPC that was driving a vehicle).
The "nine's" (9's): When characters are jailed, a duration has to be entered where "x months" is the amount of real life minutes. In order to indefinitely jail someone, the number entered is 9999 months (and reset appropriately when necessary), hence the term the 9's. Ex "I'm going to get the 9's if I get caught!".
Vulture: A derogatory or humorous term that has become a running joke. It usually refers to players who take advantage of looting easy targets, most often characters who are downed and helpless, vehicles that happen to be 'available' to steal, etc. However it is now more and more frequently being used as slang for simply stealing. Ex. "Stop vulturing my car!", "We vultured them for their weapons".
RDM / VDM: Random Death Match and Vehicular Death Match. A term referencing to killing people without initiating in RP - this is not allowed. It is an important rule to prevent chaos from overtaking the server. Ex. "This guy just RDM'd everyone, time to report him".
Combat Log: A term referring to purposely leaving the game/server during an active situation. As it is an RP server, simply 'disappearing' during active situations not only ruins RP for everyone, but also can be seen as an unfair way to get out of situations. Note that this is on purpose - accidental game crashes do not count. Ex "They just combat logged after we found them!"
Banhamas / taking a vacation: Amusing slang combining 'ban' and "Bahamas". Refers to players being banned. Ex "We're going to get sent to the Banhamas with this amount of ERP", "He's currently on vacation in the Banhamas for a few days".
SBS: Small Brain Syndrome. An amusing term made up by players as a cheeky, alternate way to make fun of someone's incompetence or questionable decisions/actions. Ex "I think she's suffering from SBS" "That move right there was total SBS".
NVL: Not Value Life. Often used in context with the actual 'NVL' rules as mentioned in the guide, where characters must 'value their life' in various dangerous situations for role play purposes. Ex "This person is NVL'ing right now by trying to punch people pointing guns at him".
GSR: Gun Shot Residue. Police can use GSR tests on suspects to see if they fired a weapon recently (as far as I know, about up to an hour ago). It simply gives a positive/negative in a timeframe, although obviously criminals would be wise to avoid being tested for a long enough period of time so they appear 'innocent'.
UAV: Reference to Unmanned Aerial Vehicles that were popularized by games like Call of Duty. Slang used by players to refer to characters who are providing information on whereabouts of enemies during wars. Note that this is not during active shootouts (rule of 4 of course), but rather when belligerents are asking 'neutral' parties questions.

Ubisoft needs to stop with this Always Online bullshit; Epic Games Store is literal Spyware and worse.

We as a gaming community have become complacent. What many years ago we use to call bullshit on, we now praise devs for doing. Even defending companies when they are obviously pulling highly illegal and shady practices. People are saying Rockstar is generous for "fixing" a problem in Red Dead Online that Rockstar themselves created by allowing us to purchase funbux, or how we should be thankful that Rockstar allows us to buy one brand new car in GTA for $40. We've even gone as far as accepting ToSes that are highly illegal. This shit wouldn't fly twenty years ago, so why should it now?

Instead of making two topics on this, I'll merge it. I'll start with Ubisoft.

Ubisoft recently announced that their upcoming game Beyond Good & Evil 2 will require always online, even for singleplayer. Did we really forget the shit they tried to pull with Assassin's Creed 2? Or how about The Crew series? Speaking of, let's go right into that. The Crew, and The Crew 2, is a more recent example from them of adding in always online where it didn't need to be. Nothing in that game series is revolutionary. In by all means it is a game you can play by yourself from beginning to end. You know what other series does this, and gives a lot more and also happens to be able to be played offline? Forza Horizon. Everything The Crew does, Horizon did better and first. Without no forced online to boot. You may try to bring up FH4 as "always online". It's not. Yes, the game puts you online as soon as you play it, but you will miss nothing other than the hourly Forzathon Lives. The point is that you can completely disconnect from the internet and still be able to play FH4. Can't do the same with The Crew games. Not to mention once the master server is done, so is your time playing it. Ubisoft's excuse was that it was because it's a "mmo". Let's be honest, that's a poor excuse. It was just a forced DRM. Just like they're going to do with Beyond Good & Evil 2. "But it's the norm!" It doesn't have to be the norm, but since people keep buying these games it's starting to become the norm. Imagine in the near future, where almost all singleplayer games are always online, and since it's on say Xbox or PlayStation, you're required to have a XBL/PSN subscription to even play it even though there is no online aspects. This is that path we're heading towards. Is this what we really wanted? We let them get away with microtransactions when they added them in full priced games. We let them get away with lootboxes when they added them in full priced singleplayer games. We have no one to blame but ourselves for this. We allowed it. Give them an inch, they'll take the whole country.

I saved the worst for last. Oh boy what a mess the Epic Games Store is. Tell me, has anyone actually read the TOS? No? Well, we still have a problem. According to even the TOS, Epic Games Store is literal spyware. They're not even trying to hide it. Their TOS states they have the right to monitor you and send the data to their parent company. And who is Epic's parent company? The Chinese dev that's known for spying for the Chinese government. Tencent. The same Tencent who's working hand in hand with the Chinese Government to work on tools to spy on their own citizens. Escentially Epic Games is owned by the Chinese Government. What better way to monitor people than by videogames and a Steam like program people usually never close? The TOS somehow even manages to get worse the more you read it.
"4. User Generated Content

Any content that you create, generate, or make available through the Epic Games store application shall be “UGC”. You hereby grant to Epic a non-exclusive, fully-paid, royalty-free, irrevocable, perpetual, transferable, and sublicensable license to use, copy, modify, adapt, distribute, prepare derivative works based on, publicly perform, publicly display, make, have made, use, sell, offer to sell, import, and otherwise exploit your UGC for any purposes, for all current and future methods and forms of exploitation in any country. You may not create, generate, or make available any UGC to which you do not have the right to grant Epic such license. In addition, you may not create, generate, or make available any UGC that is illegal or violates or infringes another’s rights, including intellectual property rights or privacy, publicity or moral rights. Epic reserves the right to take down any UGC in its discretion."
Literally says "hey give us the ability to exploit your works". Before you state Steam says the same, let me quote someone here on the difference.
"So basically, Steam's EULA is restricted to content uploaded to Steam, and Valve is only allowed to use the content for the purpose of Steam promotion.

Epic's EULA is not restricted at all, may apply even to recordings of games played on the Epic store uploaded on Youtube, and may be used for literally any goddamn thing Epic wants to. You could upload a mod for the original Unreal to the Epic Store, and by doing so you'd grant Epic the rights to sell the mod and make money off of your creation. By making a Let's Play of a game hosted on the Epic Store, you'd grant Epic the right to monetize your video. Valve is simply not allowed to do that with their license."
Remember, this is all in the TOS, so that means simply making an account there means you agree to everything. Quite funny how no one is covering this, but instead is covering "Why you should ditch Steam and switch to Epic Games Store, totally not a paid review".

Edit 1: I've seen a point brought up, and while it is a good point it is a bit flawed. Yes, I may not have anything worth spying on, nor may you. But millions of people will have that launcher, and out of those millions are bound to be some who do have something worth it. That's really all it takes.

Edit 2: The Human Rights bit is referencing the Epic Store TOS. Someone in the comments has went even deeper into this, https://www.reddit.com/pcgaming/comments/a9lntx/ubisoft_needs_to_stop_with_this_always_online/eclsx52/?context=3

Edit 3: I never said they would sell your personal data. You can't "sell" something to your parent company after all. The bit where I said "sell" was me quoting something in their TOS about something completely different. The whole User Generated Content bit.

Edit 4: I saw some posts about why should I care about my $40 car example. For starters, Rockstar cut out Singleplayer DLC to turn into updates for GTAO. In the PS3/360 Era of GTAV, all GTAO content was put in for use in Singleplayer as well, for free. This stopped as soon as it came out for PS4/One. One car should not be almost the cost of a full price game. $40 use to buy you a lot with microtransactions a few years back. The value can be set at anything. It doesn't cost them a dime. The actual developers do not see any of this "extra" money. The publishers and higher ups do. If anything, one car should not be more than $3.

Edit 5: I've had a few people dig into my history to try to point out I'm part of the problem for lootboxes. Maybe. Maybe not. I will not deny I create items for Team Fortress 2. I will not deny that if an item is accepted that I made, I get part of the sales. I will not deny that Team Fortress 2 has lootboxes. But I will say this. TF2 started lootboxes and still is one of the few games that do it correctly. Me making hats for Team Fortress 2 did not turn lootboxes into the greedy cesspit it is today. Publishers seeing what they can get away with did.

Edit 6: Changed "obviously violate our human rights." to "obviously pulling highly illegal and shady practices." due to poor choice of words. However it still is valid; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Right_to_privacy#Universal_Declaration_of_Human_Rights and https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/law-and-courts/civil-rights/human-rights/what-rights-are-protected-under-the-human-rights-act/your-right-to-respect-for-private-and-family-life/

Edit 7: I would also like to point you to this direction, also dealing with Epic Games Store's TOS https://www.reddit.com/Games/comments/a43dxi/the_epic_games_store_does_not_seem_to_comply_with/ and https://www.reddit.com/pcgaming/comments/a3zkpv/the_epic_games_store_and_gdpr_compatibility/

Edit 8: The UGC and Spyware are two different things, just grouped together because it involves the same company. I even lead the UGC with "The TOS somehow even manages to get worse the more you read it.". How are people missing this?

Edit 9: No, me having things sold by Valve is not being a hypocrite. Epic can sell whatever they want, without you seeing a dime. Valve however, the TF2 Workshop's whole point was to upload items/maps to be accepted for use in the game, while getting paid for them.

Edit 10: A user in this very thread pointed out Steam's TOS vs Epic Games Store's. https://www.reddit.com/pcgaming/comments/a9lntx/ubisoft_needs_to_stop_with_this_always_online/eclrviv/

"When you upload your content to Steam to make it available to other users and/or to Valve, you grant Valve and its affiliates the worldwide, non-exclusive, right to use, reproduce, modify, create derivative works from, distribute, transmit, transcode, translate, broadcast, and otherwise communicate, and publicly display and publicly perform, your User Generated Content, and derivative works of your User Generated Content, for the purpose of the operation, distribution and promotion of the Steam service, Steam games or other Steam offerings. This license is granted to Valve as the content is uploaded on Steam for the entire duration of the intellectual property rights."
Short version: we're allowed to send stuff that you want shared to people like you want, and we can use it in our own displays after modifying it. If it's set to private we can't and we can't do anything beyond those.
"Any content that you create, generate, or make available through the Epic Games store application shall be “UGC”. You hereby grant to Epic a non-exclusive, fully-paid, royalty-free, irrevocable, perpetual, transferable, and sublicensable license to use, copy, modify, adapt, distribute, prepare derivative works based on, publicly perform, publicly display, make, have made, use, sell, offer to sell, import, and otherwise exploit your UGC for any purposes, for all current and future methods and forms of exploitation in any country. You may not create, generate, or make available any UGC to which you do not have the right to grant Epic such license. In addition, you may not create, generate, or make available any UGC that is illegal or violates or infringes another’s rights, including intellectual property rights or privacy, publicity or moral rights. Epic reserves the right to take down any UGC in its discretion."
Short points
"Any content" that we can argue you created though the store, such as with a game you downloaded through us,
"[do literally anything with it with no kickback to you] license",
"license to [do literally everything including sell it, create future games from it, make it] and [literally any way to profit off it that hasn't yet been invented]"
"You may not create content that by some technicality would prevent us from having this license"

Edit 11: "Vote with your wallet" is bullshit and you should know it by now. Mostly because it's not organized and the people that need to know, don't know.

Edit 12: Might I mention that Tencent is the same company that's trying to do a Social Credit Score system in China for the government. See: https://www.wsj.com/articles/chinas-tech-giants-have-a-second-job-helping-the-government-see-everything-1512056284 and https://qz.com/1049669/chinas-tencent-hkg-0700-is-quietly-testing-a-social-credit-score-based-on-peoples-online-behavio To sum it up, I'll quote another Redditor.

Epic is half owned by Tencent, a company that is quite literally running an Orwellian social credit system experiment in China, drawing all sorts of invasive data about users to rate their loyalty as citizens, and punish them for disobedience. And as noted above, this is the same company that now wants you to install an app with a shady TOS, widely accused of being spyware.

Here's a video too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHcTKWiZ8sI

Edit 13: I am apparently not the only one who thinks something is up with the TOS Epic has you agree to. Not to mention the official response given completely danced around everything, summing up with and I'll quote another Redditor on this:

He doesn't come out and say "we're not collecting that much data", he doesn't say "our EULA isn't that shady"... He super duper pinky promises that Epic will never misuse the data they're allegedly collecting, and no CEO has ever betrayed the public's trust before, so you can deff put your faith in Epic. Tim will never let that happen.

And another:

Exactly, his words mean nothing when the terms and conditions, which all users agreed to, give them permission to do the opposite of what he said. Written contracts supersede verbal agreements.

How about some more:

I hate how much we just implicitly trust these silicon valley tech psychopath types to do the ethical thing and secure our personal information. Even the way they reply to valid criticism like this comes off as condescending and arrogant, like they're angry they even have to respond.
Time and time again they've been breached due to absolutely ridiculous vulnerabilities that any basic penetration test by an independent audit would have found. And these people will inherit the future.

How many times have companies such as Facebook, Google, and others made misleading promises about user privacy?

Edit 14: Everything I have stated can even be verified with a quick search.

Edit 15: They have recently revised the TOS, however it still does not comply with the GDPR.

Edit 16: Let us not forget the other companies Tencent has their hands in, as we should also be weary of them. Interesting enough, Tencent is no stranger to controversy.

Edit 17: Tencent and Tencent subsidiaries have denied spying before, only to be caught in a lie.

A cheaters perspective on Tarkov

Still on Windows 7? Don't want Windows 10? Consider switching to Linux (and specifically, Ubuntu). A Guide.

Any actions taken as part of this guide are solely at your own risk - unfortunately there is no way to account for every hardware configuration or error that may potentially crop up. BACK UP YOUR CRITICAL DATA BEFORE DOING ANYTHING
On the 14th Jan 2020, official Windows 7 support ends for most users. This means if you run Windows 7 beyond that date, you're no longer going to receive security and system updates, which will leave you increasingly vulnerable to viruses, malware and system failure. Depending on how critical your data is and how often you back up - if at all - there's a potential you can lose everything.
This is a somewhat opinionated but no-bullshit guide for those of you still on Windows 7 who really don't want or won't move to Windows 10. Aside from my own additions, it's going to reference a lot of great guides and advice written by other people, but conveniently collected in a single place. It's crazy, but it might just work.
Have you considered... Linux? Specifically, Ubuntu.
No, hear me out. Because I'm going to start (and save you a lot of time) by telling you why you SHOULDN'T switch to Linux. If any of the criteria listed apply, then:

Switch to Windows 10 while you can still get a "free upgrade" using your Windows 7 key. You can even use it as an excuse to justify that machine upgrade you've been wanting the past couple of years!
Keep your Windows 7 machine and disconnect it from the Internet and all networks forever unless you want to get owned and lose everything dear to you in the next couple of months or so.
Buy a Mac.

The guide is broken into the following sections, if you want to jump to the points that are relevant. If you want to get straight to it, go to (4):

Why shouldn't I go with Linux?
Why should I go with Linux?
Why Ubuntu?
What's involved in switching?
Installation of Ubuntu
Tips for new users using Ubuntu
Gaming on Linux
Alternative Software
TL;DR or The Conclusion
To do list for the guide

1. Why shouldn't I go with Linux?

If you:

Don't feel comfortable installing an operating system and you don't have someone that can do it for you;
Have someone that helps you with all your IT-related activities who is not familiar with or dislikes Linux (ask them);
Are big into multiplayer games. (There are exceptions here, discussed in more detail in the Linux Gaming section);
Use multiple game clients and have a lot of games on platforms other than Steam;
Are into any sort of VR;
Absolutely need Outlook and refuse to consider any other mail client, like Thunderbird;
Use a VPN provider that doesn't have a Linux version and aren't willing/able to change;
Are subscribed to multiple video streaming services other than Netflix and watch these on your PC frequently;
Use Photoshop, Premiere, 3D Studio Max - actually, if you have any Windows software that you are locked into due to muscle memory, experience and/or professional requirements and that have no Linux version. (There are, however, often a Linux alternatives for a lot of these);
Require assistive technologies, such as screenreaders. While Ubuntu comes with several built-in assistive tools, there's a lot of specialised assistive use cases, tools and hardware that don't work on Linux and have no comparable alternative;
Want to be able to buy whatever piece of hardware that takes your fancy without researching it and expect them to work out the box with zero hassle. Especially niche and specific hardware like flight controllers, sound boards and so on;
Use iTunes extensively for your media library and/or interacting with your iPhone;
Have a large archive of Microsoft Office documents that use complex formatting, macros and/or formulas that you refer back to frequently.
have the worst-case scenario: rely on legacy or ancient software or hardware you're not sure you have the installation media for anymore, can't find a replacement, can't download it and it doesn't work on Windows 10. In this case, you're going to have to keep that Windows 7 box around and it's even more imperative that you make sure it's not accessible from the web or network. Start looking at moving to a more modern equivalent of it AND converting your work to a format that'll be accessible.

Some of this stuff you can work around with some effort, but it's more likely going to be more trouble than you're willing to put up with. And that's fine; Linux can't help everyone. The more of these that apply, the more certain you can be that you shouldn't consider Linux and should just go with Windows 10, unless you're willing to ~sacrifice~ compromise.

2. Why should I go with Linux?

Because whether you're a general user, a gamer or a specialised user with niche interests or requirements, Linux can provide you the same experience you're getting now with some already stated exceptions. In many ways, it's better - it's free, it's generally runs better on older hardware than Windows, it's relatively more secure due to a small user footprint and you'll have a huge, vetted library of free software that you can access. There are some applications - older Windows software and games, for instance - that don't work on Windows 10 but do on Linux, thanks to projects like Wine and Proton. It can 99% of the time update itself without interrupting whatever you're doing.
That being said, it's not perfect. You will lose some things. You will need to learn new ways of working with your PC. This is inevitable. That's the cost of switching.
Which is not to say Windows is without a cost. Unlike Windows, none of this functionality comes at the cost of your privacy and freedom. Linux will let you configure it as you like, and dive into the nitty-gritty settings to fine-tune it further. It will not try and trick you into creating yet another online account to use it. Aside from a few missteps (Ubuntu and Amazon, for one), it keeps its nose out of your business. It does not come with a unique advertising ID that links your multitude of online and offline interests and programs into a nice, tidy, profitable pack of data to be shared with "trusted third-parties". It does not serve you ads in a product you paid for. It does not try and push you into multiple online services.
In short, it does not suffer from any of the privacy concerns of Windows' future.
Now, I know people are going to throw snark about lead-and-tin alloys, their pliability and how easy that makes it to fashion headgear, but please note I said "future"; while they're not necessarily prying now, your operating system - and for almost everyone, that means Microsoft - has a very privileged position in your life as far as personal data is concerned. Any time you search in the file manager, every word you write and document you save, your budget calculations, every photo you view and program you use, every voice command you give Cortana, Windows - and by extension Microsoft - knows about. And there's nothing in their Terms of Service that stop them from starting to collect more detailed data if they so choose.
It's not a question of whether you prefer Windows 7 over 10 - Windows 7 got the same telemetry features as Windows 10 ages ago. Rather, ask yourself if you're happy with Microsoft's evolving business model, one that is shifting more and more of your content online and is intricately and opaquely tied to your personal data? If you're not, you're not alone: Holland isn't happy. Germany's not too thrilled either. There are legitimate reasons to be wary of Window's market dominance and increased level of embedded user analytics. Linux offers you an alternative.

3. Why Ubuntu?

Ubuntu LTS is by far the most commonly used desktop Linux distro and the one with the widest support by software developers and hardware manufacturers involved in Linux. If you're searching for solutions, you'll mostly find Ubuntu ones. Lastly, Ubuntu's LTS versions are supported for long periods of time: 18.04, which we'll be recommending, is supported until 2023, while the next version coming out in April, Ubuntu 20.04, will be supported until 2025.
One of the things you'll quickly learn about the Linux community is that someone will ALWAYS suggest a different Linux distro. In this case, it'll probably be Linux Mint, which aims to be a newbie-friendly Linux. It's based on Ubuntu, is similar to Windows 7 and will MOSTLY work the same as Ubuntu. I still suggest Ubuntu, but whatever, follow your heart.
To keep this guide as approachable as possible, and to have access to the widest range of help and support, I decided to focus on Ubuntu. Anything other than these two and you're just making things harder for yourself as a new user. You can always switch once you get a feel for how things work.

4. What's involved in switching?

I promised you a no-bullshit guide, so I'm going to cut straight to it. Take your time with all of these steps, do them properly, and you shouldn't have a problem.
First step: back up all your important documents, photos, email, games - whatever is important to you, and preferably somewhere external to your machine. This is just good advice regardless of whether you're switching to Linux or not. Always have a backup.
If you're a gamer, check out the following guide by PC Gamer's Jarred Walton on how to back up your games across multiple clients.
While you're backing up, install Thunderbird (Mozilla's open-source mail client) and copy your mail over to it. You'll have a much easier time doing this in Windows than in Linux to start. Thunderbird can automatically pull your mail from Outlook if installed on the same machine. Then follow the steps here for backing up your Thunderbird profile. You'll restore this in Linux later. Make sure you have your mail account details.
Get hold of your Windows 7 serial key. If it's physical media, like a DVD, then check and make sure the key is in the box or on the disc. If it's a laptop that came with Windows 7 preinstalled, it's usually a sticker on the specific laptop. You'll need this if things go awry and/or decide Linux is not for you.
Check the minimum specs for Ubuntu 18.04.03 here. If your system doesn't meet them, you're going to have a bad time regardless of whether you go with Ubuntu or Windows 10 (Windows 10 minimum requirements are bullshit, btw. 1Gb Ram, 1Ghz processor? I challenge anyone to link me to a Windows 10 video running on those specs where it performs acceptably.). There are lightweight alternatives if you can't afford a new PC, (Lubuntu, for instance), but upgrading your PC should be your first step in this case.
Here comes the arduous bit. Make a list of your current hardware, software and services that you use frequently, make sure you have the installation media for the critical pieces of software you use (Don't expect to be able to just copy/paste the applications you have) and do a search on whether they run on Linux. I'd recommend following the "Software" section in this guide on Migrating to Linux by PBLKGodofGrunts]
A lot of the Linux software alternatives, such as LibreOffice and GIMP, are available for Windows as well. Consider downloading those that interest you to try out in Windows and get a feel for how they work.
Ultimately, to echo the advice you'll find that you can either run it, have an alternative or just can't switch. That's okay; Linux can't help everyone.
Download the Ubuntu LTS 18.04.03 distro. The "LTS" means it's a long-term support version - you won't have to think about this exercise for the next three years if you're lucky. Ubuntu LTS 20.04 is coming out in four months, which'll be supported until 2025, but since most of the focus is still on 18.04, you're better off sticking with it for now.
Whichever you choose, you'll have to write it to a DVD or USB. If it's a DVD, use whatever you normally use to write DVD ISOs. If you're going to use a USB, here's a guide to doing that.
Did I mention to back-up your important data? Back-up your important data. Double-check that it's all there. If you want to take an extra precaution, you can use Clonezilla to clone your current OS drive. It's not necessary, but if things go bust, Clonezilla allows you to restore your PC to precisely the way it was before you started without needing to install Windows from scratch. However, Clonezilla can be a bit daunting if you're not technically inclined. Check out this somewhat out-of-date video by cButters Tech for a general idea of what's involved.
Lastly, try running Ubuntu as a Live CD/USB first. This will allow you to run Ubuntu as if it were installed, but without making any changes to your current installation. Please keep in mind that the Live is not indicative of performance... it will run slower than if it was installed, as it has to read everything off the DVD or USB stick first and load it memory. The important thing to check here is that it's picking up all your hardware, that it's displaying on your screen correctly, that all your drives are available, and so on.
Live USB should perform better than a Live DVD. Check out the "Okay, it's installed/Okay, I'm running the Live CD. What tips do you have for using Ubuntu?" section to get an idea of what you should be checking.

5. Installation.

You've done all the above, triple-checked your backups and either decided that you can't make the jump or you're ready.
However, before you begin installing, you have one last decision to make.
There's a lot people that suggest dual-booting - that's where you keep Windows around and just install Linux alongside it. This is often proposed as a safety net and a means for people to have the best of both worlds. I don't, for a couple of reasons:

If you are going to dual-boot, you'll need to update to Windows 10 anyway, and if you're going to do that, why bother with Linux in the first place?
Data will be spread between two operating systems. Instead of backing up and maintaining one OS, you'll be maintaining two. It's doable but a PITA.
You're sabotaging your efforts, and your switch to Linux will likely fail. That's not a statement on Linux's capability or ease of use. A lot of things are easier on Linux - but they won't be at first. You probably have years of Windows use ingrained in you; you've come to expect things to work they way Windows works. That's not ease, that's familiarity; that's a boiling frog. And the moment something throws you a challenge in Linux, the temptation to just "do it" in Windows will be too great. And the more you do that, the more running Linux will seem like a chore than a choice.
If you absolutely have no option but to run Windows 10, do it in a virtual machine - you get the benefits of dual-booting but with the bonus of limiting Windows 10 to a virtual environment where access to the rest of your system (and personal data) is restricted while allowing you to run your non-negotiable applications (other than games or any intense 3D applications) just fine.

If you decide to dual-boot, you'll need to find a recent guide that covers this. Typically, it's best to update to Windows 10 first, then follow the guide to dual-boot Ubuntu. None of the guides I found seemed good for beginners, so I'm willing to take suggestions from the comments.
If you take my advice and simply dive in, installing Ubuntu on your machine will be a painless process: just follow the steps here in a beginner's guide written by Jason Evangelho and you should be fine.

6. Tips for new users using Ubuntu?

Things that you should do only once Ubuntu's installed are prefixed with an [+]. Otherwise, the tip applies to both installs and Live demos:

Power off, log-out and running taskbar applications will be in the top-right of the screen by default.
To search, press the Windows key on your keyboard. This'll bring up Ubuntu's search bar. You can use this to find applications, folders and system settings.
In the File Manager, your Home directory will be where your primary OS and applications will typically be installed, while the Other Locations will list additional hard drives (usually your additional storage drives). By default, Ubuntu does not actually mount the drives in the "Other Locations" section. Clicking on any of them, however, will automatically mount them. If you want to learn more about the general structure of Ubuntu's file system, you can do so here.
Ctrl+Alt+T will bring up the terminal. The terminal is where you'll often be sent if you're attempting to diagnose a problem, perform specific tasks or install specific tools/software. Check yourself before your wreck yourself before copy-pasting commands from strangers on the 'net. Be super cautious of any command that involves "sudo" and "rm".
The default office suite for Ubuntu is LibreOffice. Try it out: see if you can open a couple of your documents, like spreadsheets and Word docs. You might be pleasantly surprised. Writer is the word processor, Calc is for Spreadsheets. Formating on complex documents will likely be broken. Don't save any of these at this point.
In fact, open up a couple of common files you normally use - images, documents, compressed files, music, videos and so on. Get a feel for how it works, what opens and what doesn't. Sometimes, you'll need to install some software first before it will work.
Check the list of alternative software for some suggestions on what to install if you seem to be missing something.
Plug in your phone and see if it detects it and you can access your files. If it's Android, you should be fine.
You'll notice that some commands - like updating - require you to enter your password again. This is a security feature similar to when Windows ask you to run a program as administrator or with elevated privileges. If you didn't initiate the command that brought up the password request, be cautious about entering it in.
[+] Change your desktop preferences and move the application bar to the bottom of the screen. By default, Ubuntu puts it on the left-side. Hey, maybe you'll like it like that! This was the one Windows habit I was never able to shake.
[+] Try and store your data in the pre-defined folders (Music, Videos, Documents, Pictures). You don't have to, but you'll make your life a lot easier doing so.
[+] Search for and create a shortcut to the Software Updater. This allows you to quickly check for and install Ubuntu updates.
[+] Likewise, create a shortcut to the Ubuntu Software Centre. To start with, you'll want to stick to installing applications from the Centre. These have been specifically tested to work on Ubuntu and will 99% run without a hitch. You'll be able to remove applications from here as well.
[+] Speaking of the Centre, Ubuntu comes preinstalled with an Amazon launcher. Use this time search for it and remove it. Or don't, it's up to you.
[+] Sometimes, you'll see there's two versions of a piece of software in the Centre. This is most likely due to there being a Snap version of it. Snaps are self-contained versions of the software that are usually the most up-to-date; however, they can run erratically or not have access to some things on your system, like fonts. I'd stick with the ubuntu-bionic versions for best compatibility.
[+] If you're a gamer, change your graphic drivers so you can get reasonable performance. For Nvidia, simply search for the Software & Updates application, open it, select the Additional Drivers Tab, and check whether you're using the Nvidia Driver. You'll want to select the one that's listed as proprietary and tested. AMD's a little more complicated and I profess to having little experience with it. I'll happily take advice from the comments in this instance.
[+] When downloading some games or applications specifically for Linux, you'll often get a .Deb file or a script. A deb file can often be run as is by double-clicking in Ubuntu; you can read more about them here. Scripts often need to be run from the terminal and made to be executable. You read more about that here. Again, same safety check applies to running anything you download from the web.

7. Gaming on Linux

If you're a gamer, I'd recommend the following the guide by PBLKGodofGrunts on the /linux_gaming subbreddit. But to summarise...

The Good News

Thanks to Valve's involvement in Linux through Proton and the efforts of the Wine team, Linux gaming has never been better. It's now possible to play many Windows-only games with no hassle and minimal performance loss. Just a few examples of recent games that run just fine on Linux are the Resident Evil 2 remake, Sekiro, Halo: Master Chief Collection (single-player and custom multiplayer games), DOOM, Kingdom Come: Deliverance, Risk of Rain 2, Total War: Three Kingdoms, and more; you can even toss a coin to all of your Witchers. To get an idea of games that run on Linux, you can visit ProtonDB, Wine AppDB or Lutris and search for your desired game. If you're primarily a single-player gamer, the transition should be mostly painless.
Another amazing development is the number of open-source implementations of older games game engines that allow for playing of classic and retro titles on modern hardware, (such as DevilutionX for Diablo 1)often with improvements, bug fixes and quality of life improvements, ensuring they'll be able to run into the future.
However, the most critical development is that the number of developers and platforms that provide and support native Linux games has increased significantly. Feral Interactive publishes several AAA Linux ports, numerous indies now provide a Linux version, and store fronts like GOG and itch.io provide an alternative with DRM-free games.

The Bad News

Despite all of this, gaming remains one of the biggest hurdles to adopting Linux.
If you're into multiplayer gaming, you're out of luck. While many multiplayer titles do work on Linux (LoL, Dota 2, CS:GO, TF2, Rocket League, Warframe, Overwatch, Starcraft II, World of Warcraft, Eve Online, Elite: Dangerous, Monster Hunter:World and so on), many more don't - Fortnite, some Call of Duties, Apex Legends, PUBG, Battlefield, GTA Online. Essentially, anything with an anti-cheat is likely NOT going to work, and there's always the risk that playing a Windows multiplayer game will get you banned due to anti-cheat measures that dislike any whiff of Linux. My suggestion is check which games you play and go from there.
Unless you're using Steam, running other launchers is complicated and prone to constant breakage without continuous effort and maintenance. Epic, Origin, Uplay and GOG Galaxy can all run on Linux with some effort. Lutris does sort most of these out, but you'll need to follow the instructions here, which means your going to have to install Wine first.
Some games simply don't work, and there's no solution for it.
Some of the latest developments aren't going to be available to you. VR is tiny on Linux, and you'll likely lose access to most of your VR software and experiences.
Despite being fairly technical already, many gamers do expect things to "just work". Here's a list of things that require some effort to get working correctly:

Super-sampling is out. Not entirely, but it's more complicated than Windows.
Access to things like custom shaders and injectors are also going to be limited. Mods can be more complicated or, in some cases, not available.
You'll lose some of the benefits of your Gsync/Freesync monitors, since the two tech don't work that well on Ubuntu's standard display compositor. This will change once Ubuntu shifts to Wayland.
Things like community game patches are often aimed at Windows, with no Linux alternative.

Most importantly, AMD and Nvidia graphic cards are handled very differently on Linux when compared to Windows. Ubuntu uses an open-source driver by default - this is alright for general use but terrible for games and 3D applications. To get decent performance, you'll need to install their respective drivers.
Nvidia's latest Linux drivers are made available in Ubuntu directly. However, this is just the drivers: Nvidia's GeForce Experience isn't available on Linux and you're going to lose access to all of its tools. That means no Ansel in many cases, no DSR, no predefined gaming configs and no ShadowPlay (Although OBS offers a decent alternative in this case). See the Tips section above on how to install it. On the plus side, the installation process is a breeze and Nvidia's performance is fairly solid.
AMD benefits from much better open-source drivers and active support from AMD, but unfortunately suffers from delays for support of their most recent cards and a fairly complicated install process . AMD uses the MESA Driver, combined with Valve's ACO shader compiler, to deliver performance boosts. Installing these drivers can be a complicated, multi-step process. I'm sorry I can't help you on this; I'll happily take someone's advice on getting this working in Ubuntu LTS and include it in the guide.

8. Alternative software

This is a quick and dirty guide to equivalent software for Windows applications in Linux.

Antivirus software: This may seem counterintuitive, but for the most part Linux does not require any sort of anti-virus software. While viruses for Linux exist, the number of viruses and such that target the Linux desktop specifically is tiny compared to Windows. You can read up about it here.. That being said, if you are concerned there are several tools available for detecting both Windows and Linux malware on the same page. Follow good internet hygiene, don't open suspicious links/mails and think before just randomly following command instructions on the 'net.
Microsoft Office: LibreOffice. Or you can access Office365 online.
Adobe Photoshop: GIMP, Krita
Adobe Premiere: Blender
3D Studio Max: Blender
IllustratoCorelDraw: Inkscape
Xsplit: OBS
Windows Media Player: VLC
Basic Audio Editor: Audacity
Audio Mixing: Ardour, Mixbus
Adobe Reader: While there are several PDF readers on Linux you can use, almost none of them play well with Adobe PDFs with advanced features. You're better off sticking with what comes with Ubuntu, and if it doesn't work, open it up in a browser.

9. TL;DR or The Conclusion

Switching to Ubuntu is possible and relatively safe if you do some research on which apps/games/software/hardware you use will and won't work on Linux first, you BACK UP YOUR IMPORTANT DATA before doing anything and don't expect a 1:1 experience with Windows. It's all dependent on your flexibility, technical experience and willingness to learn and compromise.
If you're not, Windows 10 is a perfectly acceptable choice to upgrade to: you'll benefit from improved security compared to Windows 7, a larger selection of hardware and software and will have to put less effort to make everything work at the cost of your privacy and some ads.
If you have legacy software or unsupported hardware that doesn't run on either, you're kind of screwed. I'd keep the Windows 7 box around, make sure it's disconnected from all networks (for your sake as well as others) and start making emergency contingency plans to find a modern alternative.
I know that people are going to take issue with some of the difficulties I raised, and suggest they're really not dealbreakers. Before you post, consider whether a new user coming from Windows 7 who'll be using Linux probably for the first time in their life will have the knowledge, gumption and willingness to perform sometimes complex technical steps in an operating environment they're unfamiliar with and where it's much, much easier to really break things.
Feel free to post criticisms and suggestions in the comments. If there's some good advice worth including, something needs further clarification or I need to correct something, I'll edit it in with credit.

10. To do list for the guide

I'd really like to add a section on assistive technology and software that works on Linux, but as I don't use any of it, I feel my research would be limited and miss vital pieces. If you have advice on this, let me know.
A good, up-to-date and easy-to-follow guide for dual-booting.
Instructions on how to install AMD drivers correctly on Ubuntu.

I delivered for Uber Eats in Downtown Toronto for 10-14 hours a day, during rush hour and winter storms (long read).

This paragraph is the last one I wrote after re-reading this giant post of mine. Originally I planned to briefly outline what working for Uber Eats in downtown Toronto entails, and mostly to vent out my own stress and frustrations, but once I started typing it out I got in the mood to write a more detailed story with more in-depth analysis, so I just went with it. Aside from my personal story, there is useful info in this post that might help out new and existing Uber Eats drivers, people who are curious about it, people who want to try it and customers of the service.

I hope that, since its relevant to Toronto and one of biggest industries within the city, its relevant.

Story:

Since I promised "irrelevant info" - I have a friend named Vitaliy. In the summer of 2017 he signed up to drive for Uber. He has a decent job for a good company and didn't really need it, but he drives Uber almost daily for a few hours after work and likes it (he liked it back then, I haven't talked to him about it lately). He drives people, not Uber Eats. I wasn't really into the whole driving for Uber thing, but after chatting with Vitaliy I signed up for an account anyway. My thinking was that signing up is free, doesn't oblidge me to actually ever work, and could serve as an emergency job. Plus, after he showed me around his app, I got lightly intrigued - it seemed more like a quest/videogame then work (pick up item at point A, drop off at point B, get rewarded), I could see myself at least trying it out one day. Due to having a state-of-the art shitbox on wheels for a car I was only eligible to sign up to deliver for Uber Eats, not to drive actual people with Uber (a blessing in disguise). It probably meant less money, but frankly, I was ok with it, at least food stays quiet.

Since I promised "relevant advice" - the sign up process for me took about 5 business days. To drive people I needed a car not older than 10 years old, and would need to upload a bunch of documents, most difficult and expensive of which would be a freshly done car safety certificate. I would also need to go trough a criminal background check. To drive for Uber Eats I would need a car not older then Queen Elizabeth, and to upload the same documents minus the safety certificate. Also, a criminal background check for Uber Eats as well. So the only 2 differences are: newer car & safety certificate. I also had an option to sign up to deliver on a bike, the option I considered only in case I would ever want to punish myself really badly for something stupid I did (sorry to all you bike Uberers and Foodorers out there, later I actually reconsidered this position and gained a lot of respect for you). The documents I needed were: Driver's License, Proof of Work Eligibility, Vehile Registration & Vehicle Insurance.

So, the sign-up process is as follows: you download the app, register an account (name & password). Then you choose what you want to do - drive people, drive food on a car, drive food on a bike or change your mind and sign out for ever in disgust. Then you upload the 4-5 required documents by taking a picture of them and uploading it to the app or website. You also take a selfie and upload it. This all takes minutes. Then you wait. For about 2 days. Maybe more. If you don't want to wait for two-days-maybe-more - you can go to one of 3 Uber hubs in GTA (Google it) and tell them "I'm impatient, can you please expedite this shit". That's what I did. Shit got expedited. In parallel to all this - you are sent a form for a criminal background check, which you will fill up, and then also wait. Three-days-maybe-more. This you can't expedite trough the Uber hub. Also, if you have a criminal record and don't hold a large amount of cash on hand for a bribe, you are SOL, they won't accept you. Thankfully I didn't have a criminal record or had a large amount of cash on hand for a bribe, and all my documents were legit and in good standing, so I got accepted. I don't remember how I felt at that moment, but I can only presume that I was overwhelmed with joy.

To be more serious, while I was waiting to get approved and to be able to finally click that magical "Go Online" button, I was actually getting excited and impatient to try it out. I signed up with Vitaliy's referral code, which would pay him $300 and pay me $50 once I complete my first 20 deliveries. Vitaliy would share his $300, so I was standing to make $150+$50 in bonuses plus whatever I would make in actual deliveries pay for my first 20 trips. That's actually pretty decent, as 20 trips is about 8 hours of work (of course I didn't know it back then). $25/hr in bonuses plus actual pay. I figured I'd grind out the 20 trips, satisfy my curiosity and never do it again.

So after about a week of sleepless nights and impatient waiting on the edge of my chair, it finally happened! I got the notification that I am approved and am now able to go online and receive trip requests!

So, I clicked the magical "Go Online" button in my Uber Driver app, and the screen prompted me that "You are online, expect trip requests soon". I was in North York back then, just outside the place I was staying at. It was like 8 pm. The first delivery request indeed popped up on my screen within minutes, accompanied by an insistent dling-dling-dling sound. I'm not one to brag, but I accepted that delivery request with the reflex of a god dam ninja! Tap! Accepted. Then, after a few seconds, it popped up again. Dling-dling-dling. "Weird" - I thought, and ninja-tapped it again. The GPS showed me where to go, "Wrap-something" on Steeles and Dufferin. Perfect, not too far! I got there fast, like a pro, and picked up the wrap. Being a true professional, I put it into the thermally isolated delivery bag that I picked up for $15 from the Uber hub while expediting shit. That $15, by the way, was my only (optional) expense while signing up, since I didn't have to do car safety, and I could even return it if it wouldn't be used up too much. The $15 was taken from my non-existent Uber Eats delivery earnings, so my account was showing a -$15 balance when I started my first delivery. After picking up the wrap I swiped the "Start Delivery" bar in the app, and the in-app GPS showed me the directions to a house about 5 minutes away. Still in ninja-mode I quickly delivered the order to the valued customer, who was undoubtedly just as happy to receive it as I was to deliver. Then I swiped the "End Trip" bar. Then the GPS showed me directions to another address, prompting me to drop off the "2nd order" there. And that's when I realised. That I fucked up. I had to pick up TWO orders at the Wrap place. And deliver to two different customers. Later I learned that sometimes Uber Eats combines two pick-ups from the same restaurant if the drop-offs are relatively on the way (not always), so you have to pick up two orders and deliver to two addresses. That's what that "weird" 2nd dling-dling-dling was all about. Thankfully I figured it out fast, came back to the restaurant and delivered the 2nd wrap to the second person, so it wasn't a big deal. It was just mildly unlucky that the very first delivery I had, when I was not used to the app at all, happened to be a double. These "doubles" are relatively rare, maybe 10% in busy areas.

That night I did some more delivering, less then 10 in total, and went for a few beers with buddies afterwards. I, frankly, enjoyed it. I enjoy driving. I was driving in "my" area, where sometimes I go for random drives for no reason but to just clear my mind. I was picking up from restaurants that I myself eat in. I knew the roads well, there was minimal traffic. But at the same time, right there and then, I knew that I will not do a single delivery past the 20 that I needed for the bonus. I was averaging 2.0-2.5 deliveries per hour and making $3-$6 per delivery. My car, although not having an amortization expense (as I mentioned above, she's a "classic"), gobbles 12-20 liters / 100 km in the city. Gas was at ~$1.35 back then. Making under $10/hr, even as a hobby, was not something I would want to do under normal circumstances.

Back to "useful info" - disclaimer - this is actually outdated info, but relevant to this story - back then Uber Eats paid with a following structure: $2.90 for pick-up, $2.50 for drop-off and $1.05 per km. An average delivery in North York is 1.5 km (about 0.5 km downtown). After calculating your total fee for the trip Uber takes their cut, 35%. If you signed up really early, when Uber was just starting out in GTA, you might have gotten lucky and got your fee at less then 35%, some people have 25%, even 20%. You'd grandfather in your account with that fee and still drive at that rate today (I think, not 100% sure on this one, don't quote me on this). But in any case, anyone who signed up in the last X years is at 35%, that's that. So your average delivery in North York would look like this (assuming 1.5 km distance): 65% of ($2.90 for pick up + $2.50 for drop off + $1.58 for mileage) = $4.54. Worth noting, if you did one of the rare double pick-ups, you would get paid the $2.90 only once, and the $2.50 twice (one pick-up and two drop offs).

But now that pay structure is irrelevant. It was changed sometime within the last year (Sep 2018?). Changed quite drastically actually. Now its like this: $1.50 for a single or double pick-up + $1.00 for every drop off + $0.50 per km + $0.28 per minute. So the same delivery from the example above, assuming it took 5 minutes, would pay as follows: 65% of ($1.50 for pick up + $1.00 for drop off + $0.75 for mileage + $1.40 for time) = $3.02.

So far it looks pretty horrible, but its somewhat better then those numbers. Those numbers are "base" numbers, working at x1.0 multipliers. Multipliers, boosts, surges, whatever else you want to call them, are Uber's way of balancing out supply and demand for different areas/seasons/days/occasions/times of day/weather conditions/uber manager's mood etc. When you open your Uber abb, you see a map of GTA, you can zoom in and out, and you can see the whole city split into areas, each area has a different "multiplier". Some areas always have a bigger one, not surprisingly, downtown Toronto, followed by North York Yonge area, Scarborough etc. Some new, far away areas sometimes have good mults (like Barrie). But downtown is always the highest. You can also check a few days ahead in the "Promotions" tab - you will see all the areas with their according multipliers for any time of the day in the future. So, if you want to actually take it seriously, you can plan it out - which times you would work, in which areas, at which rates.

So, to skip a little bit ahead, I completed my 20 deliveries, earned something like $100 for the actual work plus the $150+$50 in bonuses. So, ~$300. It was fun, I did it, and as planned, I wasn't going to continue. Worth noting that most of my deliveries were at x1.0 multiplier, with only a few at 1.1x. All in North York.

A few weeks or month flew by. My short 20-delivery experience with Uber was becoming a distant memory - I stopped logging into the app after I received my payment. Then, for whatever reason, I logged in again. Immediately I noticed that I am being offered x1.2-x1.3 multipliers, in North York Yonge area. It was fall of 2017, I didn't have much actual work or anything else going on, so, out of boredom, I actually went online and did some more delivering. Over the next days I got used to the app, however buggy, and was getting more comfortable with the job at hand, and I started doing a little better. With these x1.2-x1.3's I was getting close to breaking the minimum wage barrier! I still only did it for a few hours here-and-there and only once in a while, when I wanted to kill some time. Hourly rate / money aspect was almost completely irrelevant. I was more curious about how the whole thing worked on the fundamental level and what can actually be achieved, just like when playing a videogame, I like to figure out the formulas/variable settings within the game code trough experimentation, to later play it optimally (and lose interest as a side effect). I wanted to figure out how Uber Eats works. How the multipliers work, how the various variety of vague variables variate. How all this affects my account. Out of pure curiosity I wanted to see how close to "optimal" an Uber Eats driver can get and what that would manifest into in dollar terms. None of this is explained by Uber, or anyone in fact. Not in detail anyway. You can go on forums and see that people do have a pretty good idea on most things, but there are still no definitive answers anywhere (not that I know of). And it always changes anyway, so collecting a huge sample size over a long period of time wouldn't help, Uber will adjust things on you with their natural business "optimization" process before you get to the needed sample size. But you can make some pretty good guesstimates from exposure and experience. So anyway, I did maybe 50 more deliveries, It was still not unpleasant (with some exceptions), and still mostly felt like completing quests in a videogame.

Yonge area in North York presented more difficulties then the more "rural" North York areas, main reasons being: increased and more chaotic traffic flow, tougher parking logistics and a significant number of deliveries into condominiums rather then houses. All-in all though, most restaurants and buildings had parking/roundabouts/drop-off areas, and in general it was still not bad, just slightly more frustrating. The time required to complete a delivery went up slightly as a result of all abovementioned factors. Sometimes I had to spend an extra minute looking for a parking spot and often had to go up to the customer's unit rather then just pull up to a house, and often customers wouldn't leave their buzzer number in the info (or sometimes even not leave the apartment number). I would say, the biggest frustration was indeed with customers - they wouldn't leave their full info as mentioned above, would not answer the phone, would often be unpleasant/incompetent in general. Many would treat you like their personal butler (those lovely types of people who treat service industry workers badly). I realised back then that if I had to actually do this for a living, even at a much higher hourly rate - it would get to me pretty fast, it would be a stressful job to do full time. I would have a very different mental attitude if I knew I HAD to go out and deliver for the next 8 hours to not fall behind on my bills, rather then knowing that I'll only go online whenever I want "for fun" and do "like, a few" deliveries until I don't feel like doing it anymore. It's ok for a job or a career to be stressful at times, but this was neither my job nor my career.

More useful info: here is how the multipliers actually work: lets explore this example, lets say your total earnings for a delivery are $10, and the multiplier is 1.3x - so you are earning $10+$3=$13. First, Uber will take their 35% cut, but they will take it only from the base $10, not from the extra $3. If Uber would take 35% from $13 - you would earn $8.45. But they don't. This actually makes the mults more valuable, so in reality you will earn $9.50 ($10-$3.50+$3). For comparison, at x1.0 you will earn $6.50. So, because they don't take a cut from the boost, the x1.3 multiplier becomes a x1.46 increase in actual payout for the delivery. When I say "actual payout" - I mean the pay that you would end up with after the fee is subtracted ("actual pay" for a $10 delivery would be $6.50 after the fees). The increase in payout is bigger then the face value of the multiplier. Its a complicated correlation, for example, a x2.0 multiplier is a x2.54 increase. There's a formula to it that I'm too lazy to figure out. Basically, 0.65*Pay+Pay*(Boost-1) is what you get for every delivery. 0.65*$10+$10*(1.3-1)=$9.50. ***some time later*** Well, I figured out the formula - where "M" is Multiplier and "I" is actual Increase in Payout, I=((M-1)*1.5385)+1. So just plop in your multiplier into that formula instead of "M" and you will know what your actual increase in pay will be, assuming you are at 35% Uber cut. ***some more time later*** Well, here is a master formula for any Uber cut % (lets name Uber cut % as "FU", where 35% is FU=0.35): I=((M-1)*(1+(FU/(1-FU))))+1. Hopefully I got it right. So, plop in your Uber cut instead of "FU" and your Multiplier instead of "M" into the formula and it should tell you your exact increase in pay for that trip.

Now to step away from the nerdiness, all that you need to know is that the multipliers are good, very good! They have a huge effect on your earnings, a bigger one then it seems at the first glance. In fact, after doing this math just now, I'm surprised that Uber doesn't loudly advertise the fact that mults have a bigger effect then it seems, to recruit new drivers. I instinctively knew it, but this is the first time I actually did the math and I am surprised myself by the results.

In any case, I worked a bunch at 1.2-1.3 rates. Still not taking it too seriously, I just had some free time. I didn't go too far from North York. I did this for maybe ~70-100 more deliveries. Then I got busy with other things, and I abandoned Uber Eats again, for what I though for ever.

A few month went by.

Then winter of 2017-2018 came. I randomly logged in to the Uber app again and saw that every area in Toronto is at a minimum of x1.1 at most times of the day, downtown being at upwards of X1.5 at a few peak times (rush hour mostly, 5-7 pm). Once again, I had free time on my hands, bored and kind of needed money this time, so I decided to give downtown a shot. And this time, for some reason, I took it more seriously. Not "for some reason", but because i did need money, and for the first time I saw that multipliers higher then x1.3 actually existed (I didn't think they did). When I was working at Yonge Street in North York - I saw that it can get quite busy at certain times, with barely any downtime (waiting between delivery requests). I was averaging ~2.5 DPH (Deliveries Per Hour) there vs ~2.2 in North York outside of Yonge, and that's considering that deliveries to condominiums on Yonge took longer on average. Its because outside of Yonge I had downtime - I was often sitting around with no requests. I was curious how busy it can get downtown, I assumed that I could probably have almost no downtime, which would mean a much higher DPH, and with the offered multipliers averaging at x1.3-x1.4 - I was willing to do it more seriously. I was curious if I can get my DPH to 3.0+, if I can start averaging $6+ per delivery, if I can make over $20/hr. I dreaded downtown at the same time, driving there is always a nightmare, doing a fast-paced delivery job with a lot of parking - I wasn't even sure how bad that would be. But, they didn't just offer un-proportionally bigger surge in that area for no reason, clearly, there was a lot of demand and the driver's weren't filling all of it.

And that's how the whole downtown delivering saga started for me. It's important to note, that if I wasn't a confident driver, I just wouldn't do it in the first place. Probably wouldn't even try it. And if you are reading this and thinking to try it out - don't go downtown unless you're very comfortable behind the wheel, have good reaction time, a lot of patience and no god dam fear. Downtown. Is. Fucking. Nuts. There are plenty of much easier areas (pretty much any other area) with still decent pay. My hat is off to the delivery drivers who drive a truck or a big van downtown on a daily basis.

So, I went downtown. I even scheduled a shift for myself, which was a new thing, before it was always spontaneous. I decided to work 5 pm to 8 pm - 3 hours to get a feel for it. I would hit x1.4 from 5 to 6, then x1.5 from 6 to 7, and x1.3 from 7 to 8. Downtown area during that winter, according to Uber, the area where Uber gave the biggest multipliers, was: West of DVP | South of St.Clair | East of Keele. It changed a bit this winter (it went more West, now its West of Jane). I decided to get to Dufferin & Bloor and go online there. If I went online while I was still on my way to downtown, I could get requests on the way, requests that would take me off my route and could make me drive in an opposite direction, I had to go online only when I'm already in the downtown area. Worth noting - you can decline requests, but Uber penalises you for it. Back then - if you didn't accept 15% of your requests - according to Uber, you could be taken offline (in reality - I think it was a bluff, they might have decreased your chances of getting a certain request vs a certain other driver in the area, still not sure). So they forced you to accept all or most requests that they threw at you, which also meant that if a delivery would take you outside of your "desired" area, and a request would come up there before you can drive back - you are in a tough spot (accept it - and it might take you even further, not to mention decreased mult, while the good mult in the good area expires, decline - and you might get penalised, juggle going offline - that comes with it's own separate set of problems). So I had dead time and dead km's - just to get downtown. I had to leave home at 4:15 to get there on time in rush hour, the actual commute was about 30-45 minutes. Uber can route you 15 minutes away to pick up an order, so I wanted to be "south of St.Clair enough" not to get routed back "up" outside of the downtown multipliers. That's why I chose Bloor & Dufferin as my "going online" location. It was the closest/optimal one from me, taking Allen Rd from North York.

Downtown was as scary as it was intriguing. In the next few days, after just a few short 3-hour shifts, I fully confirmed my worst fears about doing Uber Eats there. Demand was high, I had non-stop overlapping orders. Overlapping order is when Uber sends you a new delivery request before you even complete the current one. It can only happen after you have already picked up the food from the restaurant and when you are on your way to drop it off - if Uber estimates that you have less then 5-7 minutes ETA left to the drop off location, they might send you the next delivery request. You can accept it, so there will be zero downtime, right after you drop off - you're routed to the next pick up. Basically every delivery is a 2-stage process - pick-up (get to the restaurant, grab the order, confirm pick up in the app) and drop-off (get to the customer, drop off the order, confirm drop-off in the app). Overlapping requests can only happen during the "second stage".

The logistics of delivering downtown were nothing like the relaxing North York drop-offs. Even the relatively tougher North York Yonge area had nothing on downtown. It was ruthless. Rush hour, mad traffic, cars, suicidal pedestrians, unforgiving traffic rules. Cyclists...even more suicidal then pedestrians. You have to concentrate 100% of the time, you have to be aware of everything and everyone. You have to drive like your life depends on it, because it does. You won't die if you get into an accident downtown, not at 5 km/h, but your life can get ruined when a cyclist or some psycho hits your stationary car at a traffic light, because they will lie, and you will be "at fault". You have to be very vigilant about everything at all times. When you get to the restaurant to pick up the order - there will be no parking. You will not be able to stop on the street either, I'm not saying "not be able to park" - you won't be able to STOP. You will get to the restaurant, see the restaurant, drive by the restaurant with a sad look on your face, bacause you will not be able to stop by the restaurant and come out of the car to pick up the order from the restaurant. This wouldn't be as stressful if you weren't trying to do everything fast, but you are - both for yourself (making money) and because Uber puts pressure on you to do so - under threat of deactivation. The only few barely legal spots will be taken, and any other spot will obstruct traffic. The street will often be a one way, and to drive around the block to have another shot to look for a spot will take 5 to 20 minutes in rush hour traffic, because you will be moving slower then walking speed, you will not be able to make most turns (time restricted or completely restricted) and your actual detour will involve a lot more then just one block (when I was completely new to downtown I went on epic half-city detours). Oh, yes, the GPS - it won't help you either. It will not get proper signal in about 15% of downtown areas, place you on a wrong street (they are too close together) and have no signal at all in about 5% of cases. Tall building, bridges and general shittingness of Uber app will render GPS unreliable. If you add random Uber app freezouts - its about 25% of the time. That's not all, when you do have a proper GPS signal and location, you still won't be sure if it routes you correctly, because it doesn't account for illegal turns, it doesnt account for streets that might be closed due to construction/emergency/anything else, it often sends you in the wrong direction into a 1-way street, it doesn't account for anything that's actually useful. The GPS will show you a route back to the restaurant, 50% of the time it will contain illegal turns, and every time it will just take you back to the same street where you can, again, drive by the restaurant with an even sadder look on your face without being able to stop. The GPS will not take you to an actual alleyway/small street/building roundabout/super secret loading dock/miracle legal parking spot/etc, where you will be able to stop for a few minutes... So, eventually, you will find that super secret spot where you can stop, it still won't be a legal spot to park, but the trick is - you, as a decent person, will make sure that you will not be impeding any traffic and that you are in a spot that's not extremely likely to get noticed by a parking officer. If a parking officer sees you - they will (gladly) ticket you. But you did find a spot that is relatively safe, it's probably ~1-2 minutes walking distance from the restaurant, so you figure that you can run out, grab the order and run back in in 3 minutes, since you're not blocking anyone, nothing bad will happen. So you go for it, you get into the restaurant running, "figuratively" elbow your way trough an inevitable crowd of people inside to get to the servers and try to get their attention. They will ignore you for as long as they can. After you do get their attention, you will politely ask them for your order number, and they will either turn around and walk away without saying anything or tell you "it will be one minute". You will receive your order...in about 10-15 minutes. During that time you will run back to your car multiple times to make sure you're not getting towed and that the SWAT team is not on your case yet, and you will get very, very stressed out. And oh yes, you won't get paid for the wait time. But you won't be able to tell the restaurant anything if you don't want them to rate you poorly (yes, the restaurants can rate you). Have a rating below a certain threshold - and Uber will deactivate you. No, you can't appeal your unfair negative ratings - well, you can try, but you won't succeed... So, you will finally get your order, you will grudgingly but convincingly fake politeness and thank the server, who, 15 minutes earlier told you it will take "1 minute", as they give you an angry look and rate you "thumbs down" in the app for the sole fact that dared ask them "how long will it take for the order to be ready" and looked rushed (god forbid if you actually told them anything or tried to explain that there is no parking). Now you're back to your car, magically still not towed and without a parking ticket, and you commence your 400-meter long delivery journey. After you contemplate just walking there you decide there could be a safer spot to park there and you drive. You get to your delivery building, driving very carefully trying not to be become an accessory to suicide to a random pedestrian or cyclist. You get to an 85-storey condominium on Bloor and Yonge with no possible opportunity to park or even stop. After a few unavoidable circles of shame around the nearest blocks you finally find a small 1-way street with "No Parking" but no "No Stopping" signs. Its about 3 minutes walking distance from the condominium, and still not legal, but its your best option. You will not be obstructing traffic there and the ticket will be $30 or $60, not $150. That street is 1-way and, despite seeing a spot to pull into, you still have to go on another circle to enter that street from correct direction. So, you get there, the spot miraculously remains available, you squeeze in as neatly as you possibly can behind other illegally parked cars (without blocking them or yourself of course) and you go for the condominium run with your uber bag of shame hanging over your shoulder. So far, this 400-meter journey is taking you about 15-20 minutes, or 30-35 minutes if you count the time spent in the restaurant waiting. The customer already sent you two messages within the app, "??" and "whe're are u", which you couldn't respond to because you were focusing or a dozen different hazards at every point while driving (you do respond politely after you stop: "sorry for the delay, traffic is rough and there is no good parking, almost there now"). You get to the building, you are now very cold because its -15 outside, and you're covering your face from the wind with the only available hand that's not trying to hold the Uber Bag vertically not to spill the badly packed soup inside. The entrance to the building is from the outside, there is no "buzzer lobby". There is a security desk, and they see you trough the glass door, you show them your Uber bag and politely gesture to let you in. They don't. The wind is blowing, and you now desperately try to look up, again, in the delivery notes if the customer left their buzzer number. You already know they didn't, because you looked before you exited the car, in fact, they didn't even bother to leave the unit number. So, upon re-checking this sad fact, you call them. They don't pick up. You try the lobby door - maybe its open after all - no, its closed, and now the security desk is giving you a dirty look. You are cold and angry now, you dial the customer again... At some point the door is opened by a person exiting the building, so you get in and approach the security desk. They ask you why were you trying to "break their door" and are being unpleasant in general, they are making sure you respect their autoritah. Anyway... This is a lot of venting, but you see what I mean. Eventually you start the timer within the app that "you can't reach the customer". If the timer runs out - you are allowed to leave. This timer was 5 minutes in 2017-2018, now its 8 minutes. When the timer runs down and wastes a few more of your minutes, the customer calls you. You inform them that you need their apartment number and that they didn't include it in the app. They get angry at you and tell you they did... Now you know the apt number at least, and the security lets you trough. You wait 5 minutes by the overcrowded elevators and get in with 20 other people, press the floor, but the button doesn't stay lit up. It doesn't stay lit up because you are in a building where elevator floor access only gets granted if you have a fob for that floor of if you buzzed in (the security guy didn't think to mention it). The elevator door is already closed and now you are on an 80-storey round trip back to the lobby, with 17 stops in-between. Once you're back in the lobby you call the customer again (no cell reception in elevator) and explain the situation. They say that they don't know their buzzer and not sure if they have it. They don't agree to come to the lobby. You ask security to activate the floor for you, - you can guess what they respond. Now you're back outside in the cold, trying to navigate the badly programmed buzzer console to find the customer by name. You're cold, and by this point you're pretty sure your car is ticketed and probably being towed... After all the struggle you reach the customer at the 65th floor, politely drop off the order, get back to the car and swipe "End Delivery". Obviously, you weren't tipped, and the customer gave you thumbs down, "delivery took too long" or "didn't deliver to door" (a lie because you SUGGESTED they meet you in the lobby when the buzzeelevator situation was unclear). When you get back to the car, you are just in time to catch a parking officer approach it. You wave them and say "sorry, I'm here, I'm leaving, please don't ticket me". They stand in front of your car so you can't leave and write you a ticket for $30. This delivery took you ~35 minutes, not counting restaurant wait time and it paid $7. You are now waaay off schedule to your next pick up (overlapping order) and your "delivery times are delayed" as far as Uber app is concerned, putting you one step closer to deactivation.

That entire ranty paragraph was of course a hyperbole. Not every delivery is this bad, not all of those logistical nightmares happen on every delivery, they all do happen often though, multiple times on a daily basis, and when I was new to downtown, it was overwhelming. Now, that the ranty part is (mostly) over, I'll stick more to numbers and useful info.

Uber app is bad. Its not the worst app in the world, but I'll confidently state that, considering the size/budget of the company, its lacking in a lot of areas. Its not extremely intuitive or user-friendly, and it has silly bugs, some of which are actually detrimental to you being able to do the job, and sometimes put you, as the front runner of the service, in a bad spot with no good options. Remember when I said that customers often don't leave apartment numbers in the delivery info. Well, it was happening so often, that I just couldn't believe there's nothing else going on. I know a certain percentage of people are just morons, but not 50% or 75%. Eventually I realised that its just a bug in the Uber App. Yes, about 25% of customers indeed don't leave their unit #. But in the rest of cases - Uber app just doesn't display it. Sometimes its displayed, sometimes you can enteexit random tabs within the app a dozen or more times for that info to show up - RANDOMLY. Sometimes no matter what you do it won't show up, even if its there, and sometimes the customer just didn't leave it. So you are frequently put in a spot where you have to contact the customer asking for their Unit #, not knowing if its their fault or not, and often realising that the customer will think you're the moron as a result (since they included it) - and rate you accordingly. All the customer drop-off interactions take seconds, you won't stand there and explain that there are bugs in the app. Other bugs - I've already vented about GPS unreliability, its mostly relevant downtown - with tall buildings and bridges, but the GPS is generally bad. It was a real shit show last year when the King St pilot program took effect and the GPS wasn't adjusted to it for month. Or when Uber GPS kept insisting on taking a very common 1-way street in the wrong direction and basing all it's estimates on it (including your pay, yes). If you do Uber Eats downtown - only use Uber GPS as a rough suggestion, not as an actual guide to plan your route. Thankfully, Uber allows you to use Google Maps as an alternative, but even that, although a lot better, can bug out downtown, and its a hassle to switch back-and-forth in a fast-paced driving job. There are many bugs, mostly small annoyances, but there are many. Uber Eats actually has a support phone number, but you can't find it anywhere. You absolutely need it in many cases, but they purposely didn't provide it within the app (they didn't last year, now they do) - that knowledge is esoteric, eventually, when you're completely stuck in some unforseen circumstance you learn it trough google search-some-random-forum (write it down). When it comes to interacting with that phone support - you will wish that you never learned the number.

Now, back to the story. After my first week downtown I realised how difficult it was. But also, it was an interesting challenge. I was far from new to Toronto, and I drove downtown plenty before, but I realised I'm still a big noob when it comes to this specific job. And I wanted to become better. Once again, I was curious how far I can take it in terms of hourly rate once I actually become better and learn the area.

In that first week downtown I worked, maybe, 10-15 hours over 3-4 days, and was making about $15/hr at average mult of ~x1.4. The highest mult I saw that week was x1.5. I was averaging about 2.2 deliveries per hour and $7 per delivery. And I had a lot of dead km's and minutes - getting to and from work. And the $15/hr did not account for gas. I didn't actually get any parking tickets that week due to taking good considerataions for my stopping spots. I was still making shit money, probably under $10/hr after all the factors. But I did see a lot of ways this could be improved: work longer shifts - so the dead km's and min's spread out better proportionally, learn the area, learn to work around Uber App bugs, find a good downtown sub-area with less condominiums and more houses etc.

Next week was similar, except the multipliers grew slightly. I saw a x1.6. I still worked small shifts, still experimenting and learning. Hourly and DPH was similar, and it was about just as stressful. Probably ~20-25 hours total that week.

Next week the multipliers grew again, I saw a x1.7. And the week after that I saw a x1.8. A pattern started to emerge. It was the end of November, and it was getting colder. If you remember, 2017-2018 winter had some epic cold days in December, -30 degree days, mad windchill etc. Around the time the multipliers hit x1.8, something else happened - for the first time ever I started received notifications from Uber for "quest" promotions. They ranged in times and payouts, and they didn't happen every day, but usually they entailed: if you complete 3 or more deliveries between 11 am and 2 pm, and between 5 pm and 8 pm, you would get an extra $3 paid for EVERY one of those deliveries. This was actually huge, and this is when I finally decided to take the step toward working long shifts instead of the 5pm-9pm ones. And I decided to work every day. Despite the stress and everything. I was still in the position where I didn't strictly "need" to do this for a living, so as a result, mentally it was easier to do. I could stop any time. It was still a game, I just graduated from the tutorial and "Easy" mode to "Expert" difficulty.

--- continued in comments due to 40,000 character post restriction ---
--- https://www.reddit.com/toronto/comments/aw7y5q/i_delivered_for_uber_eats_in_downtown_toronto_foehkjwji ---

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Video: 41 Amazing Things in GTA 5. You can create permanent Point of Interest markers on your in-game map and attach your photos to these points. This guide is for the story mode series of heists in GTA 5 (The Jewel Store Job to The Big Score). Our GTA Online heist series guide is here (The Fleeca Job to The Pacific Standard Job), while our guides to the Diamond Casino Heist are here: Big Con Approach, Silent & Sneaky and Aggressive Approach. 1.GTA 5 offline. It is an adventure and action game that is used to play as the perspective of the first and third person. You will like this best offline games pc. Players have to complete the linear scenarios and missions with the set objectives. It progresses through the story. More GTA Guides: 100% Completion Guide!How to Make Easy Money Everyday (Solo Guide).All Signal Jammers Locations (GTA Online / The Diamond Casino Heist).Mystery of the Los Santos Slasher / How to Unlock the Navy Revolver.How to Unlock Crew Member Patrick McReary (GTA Online).All Action Figures Is there a way to delete the "Point of interest" I was pressing 'Y' to figure out what the P.O,I function does. Now that I have random points of interest; I want to delete them. Is it possible to remove points of interest, or am I stuck with the random P.O.I's that I have set? Fans of the GTA franchise know that things can get a little weird in these games.Sometimes the missions can get seriously wacky, and leave us wondering about what the developers were thinking. During the days of San Andreas, we spent hours dealing with the supernatural in places like Area 51, among others.While the games have toned down the weirdness factor a little in recent years, GTA V is xsouljah posted... Sadly no. We got hosed. Online is the future of Grand Theft Auto. Sadly, I think you're right people like you and me that only care about the offline part R* couldn't care less as long as they get that initial sale and the "free" DLC is BS to they just inflate the prices in the online part and you basically only have 1 option and that's buying the shark cards. Interactive GTA V Map, pinpointing all the most interesting locations in San Andreas! GTA 5 Map Locations – Points of Interest: As mentioned before, GTA V features a massive map and as such Rockstar have implemented a lot of points of interest that many players will love to checkout. Jul 21, 2019 - Grand Theft Auto video game board. Everything that has to do with Grand Theft Auto. From online, wallpapers, mods, funny, memes, reviews and tips. See more ideas about grand theft auto, gta, gta 5.

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I delivered for Uber Eats in Downtown Toronto for 10-14 hours a day, during rush hour and winter storms (long read).

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