A Beginner's Guide On Betting On Golf

sky bet each way odds golf

sky bet each way odds golf - win

Memorial Tournament Preview Blog

Since Riggs, Trent, and Frankie have turned their golf positions at Barstool into less blogging and more playing with themselves and selling $50 cases of soda, I decided to take a dull, butter knife stab at a preview blog for this weekend’s Memorial Tournament.
Last Week
Real quick let’s talk about how much we should all hate the PGA after Sunday’s off-air debacle, and then about some questionable feature groups this week. For weather reasons on Sunday, the Workday final round tee times were moved up so players could finish before incoming storms. Great, that all makes sense. But somehow the PGA was not able to broadcast the round on TV, and when they did have to kill the live broadcast, they didn’t even mention where to go watch the rest of the tournament. THERE ARE NO OTHER FUCKING SPORTS ON, WHAT COULD CBS HAVE MADE PRIORITY OVER THIS FINAL ROUND? No seriously, someone please tell me because I would love to know what aired on CBS from 11 am to 3 pm instead of live sports. Can we also talk about how terrible the Thursday/Friday coverage is every weekend on all networks? You usually get 2-4 featured groups you can stream online from 9-3 (even these groups you often need NBC Sports Gold to watch), and then get maybe 3 hours of full coverage in a TV broadcast. There is legitimately a channel called the Golf Channel, who are airing a shitty preview/talk show while you are missing coverage. Here’s a fucking mad idea - put live golf on the golf channel before the major networks get prime coverage.
Then we got a look yesterday at the featured groups for the Memorial. How do you fuck this up? If you are younger than 70 and even sporadically watch golf, you could do this job better than whoever does it for the PGA. Here’s the formula: Brooks Koepka makes a joke about Bryson Dechambeau using steroids one week ago = you put them in the same group. Golf has so little drama because all these guys are friends and making millions of dollars even when they aren’t winning. Fans need these storylines/rivalries to be buffed up, not ignored because they might hurt Bryson's feelings.
This Week
As far as a course preview, we get a strange twist this week with the players coming back to Muirfield, who just hosted the Workday Charity Tournament. I’ve been watching golf for a long ass time and cannot remember the last time this happened, but it’s not a major headline at all so maybe this does happen on occasion. Either way the setup this weekend will look different than last weekend, with much faster greens, thicker rough, and some changes in tee box locations. I think we see some youngeinexperienced players struggle with the change in green speeds, especially since they just played these same greens and they were rolling like carpet (stimpmeter will go from 11 to 13.5). My gut tells me the winner is either a veteran or someone who didn’t play here last week. This would rule out guys like Hovland, Burns, Merritt, Niemann, etc.
Finally, we have to mention that Eldrick Tiger Woods returns to the field this week. I’m looking at his +2000 odds and hate the value because we have no idea where his game is at right now. That being said, Tiger has won the Memorial five times and placed T9 last year, and T23 the year before. I will root for Tiger to win every tournament he enters, but I won’t look at a future for him at these low odds, and for his first post-break golf since The Match.
Now let’s go over wagers this weekend and what you should look for. I am usually not a fan of betting on outright winners, before any golf has been played. The odds always look so good but you will rarely have a profitable year trying to bet winners every week. That being said, here are some of the best value picks IMO.
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
​
My pick: once again reiterating I will likely not bet on a Sunday winner before Thursday starts, but if I was I would put my money on Justin Rose +4500 or Xander Schauffele +2500.
Thursday Matchups
Easily the best way to bet on golf, and in my experience the most profitable. Here are a few picks I’ll be making before Thursday. Currently I am 4-2 betting matchups (last 4 PGA events) and I’ll track my picks moving forward. If I get to Jack Mac or Reags level of bad betting, I promise I’ll retire and not pretend I know what I’m talking about. I’m only going to pick matchups in the featured groups for Thursday. Nothing worse than betting on someone like Marc Leishman, and having to refresh the golf cast simulator thing instead of watching live play.
Dechambeau (-115) over Thomas (-105): everything is so planned out and calculated with Bryson, and his sit-out at the Workday feels like a part of his plan. Fucking hate rooting for this kid, but I see him coming in fresh against JT who blew an enormous lead last weekend.
D. Johnson (even) over Morikawa (-120): my favorite first round matchup bet. It seems counter-intuitive going against the guy who won at this course a few days ago, but don’t forget the major change this week will be how the greens roll. And Morikawa is 150th on tour in strokes gained with the putter. Lock it in.
Take a flier - round 1 leader
I don’t think I’ve ever bet this prop but I’ve also never written a golf blog before so let’s take a shot here. I’ll put a half unit on it as well: Rickie Fowler +4000
Rick's finishes at the Memorial the past 3 years: T14, T8, solo 2nd. In 2017 when he placed 2nd, he shot an opening round 66. I also feel like I see him in the mix a lot in early rounds, but can’t quite put together those low weekend rounds.
That’s all I’ve got. Sorry it’s not funny but it’s better content than we’ve gotten out of Foreplay.
Let’s make some money and blow off work Thursday and Friday.
submitted by -elbisreverri- to barstoolsports [link] [comments]

Justice Legion #2 - The Stars Are Out Tonight

DC Next Proudly Presents:

JUSTICE LEGION

Issue Two: The Stars Are Out Tonight
Written by Dwright5252
Edited by AdamantAce, JPM11S, VengeanceKnight
<First Issue Next Issue >
Rozakis Chocolate Factory, New York City
Karen Beecher rose from the floor, reeling from the psychic projection that had just been urgently beamed into her mind. It was a frantic call for help, flashes of starlike creatures latching onto people and controlling them. A flash of heat vision searing into flesh. Darkness, utter darkness. The heroes had failed, the message said, and she was the only one who knew the dangers now. She’d have to do something.
The only thing was, what could she do? She was no longer the Teen Titan Bumblebee; she was a researcher and a technician. She hadn’t been in a battle in years, and even if she was at the top of her game she seriously doubted she could take on the combined mind controlled forces of the Flash (or whoever he was) and Superman.
Thinking quickly, Karen knew she’d need certain things for this upcoming skirmish. If the Flash was compromised, she’d need a way to slow him down. Rushing through her massive factory, she arrived at Vault 23. Putting the combination in with a flurry of button presses, she entered the vault and spied what she was looking for: an electromagnetic particle decelerator. If she could manage to lead the shot and hit the Flash with this baby...
Superman… that was a tricky one. S.T.A.R. Labs didn’t allow her any Kryptonian technology when she worked with them, but from what she recalled on her days with the Titans, she knew the former Man of Steel was vulnerable to magic.
She didn’t have any magical artifacts - she wasn’t a wizard - but another thought popped into her mind. She entered Vault 37 and found the Spectrum Gun she’d built a year ago. Quickly pulling off the casing, she grabbed a nearby flathead screwdriver and a small soldering iron and went to work. In a few moments, she was sure she had the right wavelength to imitate radiation from a red sun. It was well chronicled by Professor Hamilton at S.T.A.R. Labs Metropolis that red sun radiation blocked the Kryptonian’s cells from absorbing the yellow sun energy that gave them their power.
If there was mind control at work, they would need some sort of psionic blockers to ensure they didn’t fall under the influence of this mysterious enemy. Vault 41 had what she was looking for: small earpieces and headbands that effectively created a psychic barrier around the wearer’s mind that prevented attacks. She hoped these would help her, but feared it might not be enough.
As she gathered the equipment in the front of her lab, she looked towards the back of the factory to Vault 52. It had been a long time since she entered that vault and examined its contents, but she knew that if she had any chance at doing this, it would be with the equipment stored within.
Entering the passcode, the same one that gained her access to Titans Tower all those years ago, the vault creaked open, revealing a modest room filled with memories and pain. Pictures adorned the walls, filled with heroic feats and fun times. One picture in particular, a Christmas photo of all the Titans gathered around their tree. Karen saw herself decked out in a black and yellow suit, her goggles hiding how joyful her eyes must’ve been. Her arm was wrapped around Kyle Rayner’s, the former Green Lantern who lost his life at Coast City fighting his mentor. Karen felt a chill run down her spine, causing her to turn away from the memories and finally acknowledge the reason she entered the vault.
Despite not being used in years, Karen’s Bumblebee suit looked pristine. Sleekly designed, the suit’s liquid metal exterior allowed for protection as well as maneuverability. The electro blast gauntlets shone a deep golden color, and Karen could see the pack on the back of the suit that housed its amber wings was still in fantastic shape. If someone other than her looked at the suit, there was no way they could tell how many times she had almost died in that suit.
Despite all the wonders of engineering and science she used to see in the outfit, Karen could only see the battle scars. Though no longer visible, to Karen the suit looked as damaged as anything else. But there was no time for that. She had work to do.
The suit fit like a glove, sliding onto her with ease. As she put the golden goggles over her eyes, the HUD flickered to life, detailing heart rate, weather conditions (though they were basically in a bunker right now) and other vital information. Balling her right hand into a fist, she armed the blasters on her wrist. She couldn’t help but feel good when she actually had the uniform on; it was the aftermath that would hit her hard.
Karen knew she couldn’t do this alone. She would need all the help she could get, but who could she call? She wasn’t a member of the Justice Legion, meaning she couldn’t call out for help that way. Most of her friends on the Titans were either retired or…
There was one person that she could ask, someone nearby, but she knew that convincing them would be even more difficult than convincing herself.
Kanigher Rehabilitation Center
“Your progress is really something to be proud of, James. Though it might seem like a month is a short amount of time to be clean, you need to realize how momentous that truly is.”
Lilith Clay sat behind her modest desk in her office, talking to the young man in front of her as he twirled his sobriety chip between his fingers. She felt his anxiousness, his craving for another fix just as much as she felt her own emotions. She’d seen it many times before, and knew how difficult it was for these individuals to fight the urges. She herself had an addiction- though it was one of a different kind than James was dealing with- and it took her a long time to recognize that for what it was.
“It’s so hard, Miss Clay,” James said, his eyes planted on the ground. “I’m doing my best.”
“I know you are,” Lilith said calmly. “That’s all we can ask of you. Whenever you feel the urge, just think about me or give me a call. I’ll help you through it, I promise.” She reached out to him mentally, sending positive emotions from her own mind over to his. The anxiety began to dissipate, replaced with serenity and calm. She knew this was only a band-aid over a wound that he must heal himself, but she also knew that every little thing helped on the road to recovery.
James rose from his seat and shook Lilith’s hand, smiling as he exited the room. It made Lilith feel good helping people like James through their struggles, and reminded her of the strength of the human spirit. Breaking an addiction was one of the hardest actions one could take, and Lilith was proud to help these brave people through their struggles.
Gathering up her files from her desk, Lilith prepared to leave for the day. It had been a relatively tame day at the office, leaving her enough time to clock in a few hours at the Counseling Center a few blocks over.
As she was about to leave, she heard a small knocking on her window. Lilith thought that was odd, seeing as the rehab center was on the 9th floor of this refurbished brownhouse. Looking out the window, she was greeted by the sight of a small insect bouncing against the glass. Lilith froze for a second before composing herself and opened the window. The insect grew quickly in front of her, revealing her old friend Karen Beecher dressed in her Bumblebee outfit as she carried quite a number of weapons into the building.
“Going for a heroic joyride today, Karen?” Lilith asked, a hint of disappointment evident in her voice. “I thought you were done with that.”
“Believe me, I wish I was,” Karen said hurriedly. “We can talk about it later, but I need your help right now.”
Lilith had helped Karen after her last Titans mission, helped her through the pain and fallout of the battle. She knew that Karen wouldn’t have showed up at her door in full Bumblebee attire if the situation wasn’t dire. “What’s happened?”
“The Legion… they’ve been captured. I’m the only one that knows. I need your help. I think your psychic stuff can really help me out with this problem.” Lilith could feel Karen’s panic, her fear of what might happen. But she could also feel the determination and courage resonating throughout her. “I had a mental message sent to me.”
“The Justice Legion? Like Superman, the Flash, those guys? That’s a bit out of our league, Karen.” Lilith put her briefcase on her desk and sat in her chair, overwhelmed by the residual energy of the psychic plea for help that she sensed within her friend. J’onn.
“Believe me, I know. But we need help and we need it now. I know you’re not active anymore and I know you want nothing to do with this, but I can’t do this without you. Is there anyone in the city that we know that can contact other members? I tried Dick but he wasn’t answering.”
Lilith took a breath and regained her composure. If some of the most powerful heroes in the world had been taken down, they truly did need all the help they could get.
“I do know someone, but it’ll be pretty awkward for both of us."
Atlantean Embassy
Garth banged his head against the wall of the situation room, bored out of his mind. Richard Mission, their annoying liaison, had given him a mountain of paperwork to fill out in regards to a censure made by the ambassadors of the United Nations in regards to the massive earthquakes caused by the most recent conflict in Atlantis. Though it wasn’t the nation’s fault that a massive goddess decided to reenter the realm and try to control the world, Atlantis took the blame for not stopping her sooner.
“Initial here, here and signature here,” Mission said in his smarmiest voice, though Garth knew he didn’t mean to be this insufferable. Some people just couldn’t help themselves.
“Excuse me, ambassador, but you have visitors in your office that require your immediate attention,” one of the aides said from the door of the room. Before Mission could stop him, Garth rushed to his office, thankful for anything that would prevent him from drowning in paperwork. Then he found himself face to face with Lilith Clay.
“Hi, Garth,” she said, her voice just as soothing as he remembered it was. “We need your help.”
“L-Lilith,” Garth stammered, trying to close the door behind him only to completely fumble for the doorknob. The person behind Lilith that Garth now noticed, Karen Beecher, rolled her eyes and closed the door for him.
“Can we sideline the googly eyes and talk about how fucked this situation is?” Karen’s urgent tone broke Garth from his trance. He could catch up with Lilith later. “Lilith says you have Legion contacts?”
Garth nodded and moved to his desk, pulling out a small golden communicator emblazoned with the letters JL in black.
“What’s the situation? Is Psimon back in town?” Garth asked, half joking to try and lighten the tension and awkwardness. Lilith held her hands out and projected images into his mind of terror, destruction and mind control.
“By Poseidon,” Garth whispered, “They took down J’onn and Superman?”
“That’s why we need all the help we can get.” Karen held out her hand for the communicator, and Garth placed it gently into her palm. “How’s your magic nowadays?”
“Better. I’m stronger now than I was before. Maybe not strong enough to take on a man of steel but I can definitely keep him occupied.” Garth felt a nervousness begin to bubble within him, only for a feeling of excitement and confidence to replace it. He glanced over at Lilith, who winked at him. She always was the best at keeping him calm.
Karen pressed the device in her hand, bringing up a list of the active members of the Legion. “Now, who can we get to take down the most powerful people on the planet?”
Central City Police Department
“Okay… vic’ has bruising around the neck and defense wounds on the forearms. The cuts don’t seem to be deep, but there are a lot of them. Seven by my count. Their… skull is cracked. Point of impact is on the side of the head. The resulting trauma--” Patty Spivot clicked off the recorder. That was the third time she’d tried to get everything out.
Patty pulled off her gloves and threw them in the nearby trash bin as she walked away from the third domestic abuse victim she’d examined that week. It was a heavy caseload in such a short span, especially when she didn’t have her fiance around to help wash the brutality of the kills away like normal. Domestic cases like this were always difficult to see, how a relationship that might have been filled with love could turn sour. It was tough work for sure, and sometimes she had to step away for a moment, but Patty found it to be cathartic helping these victims receive justice.
“What’ve we got?” Detective Horn approached Patty, causing her to involuntarily sigh. Horn was probably Patty’s least favorite detective to deal with; he constantly toed the line of workplace harassment with the female employees, chalking it up to “being friendly.” She was in no mood to deal with his crass behavior.
“Pretty cut and dry case. Husband killed her, possibly with the hammer found at the crime scene. Shouldn’t be too hard for a conviction.”
Horn nodded, clearly relieved he wouldn’t have to put too much personal effort in the case. “Good. Have you seen your boyfriend around, by the way? Allen owes me a report on the Bates case.”
Patty hadn’t seen Barry in a few days. He said something to her about being needed in Keystone City for a few hours but didn’t give her any details. She knew better than to ask him specifics; Barry barely remembered to put his shoes on in the morning let alone check in with her if he was wrapped up in something. As usual, “a few hours” ended up being much longer, in this case a few days. If she was engaged to anybody other than Barry Allen, she’d be concerned he hadn’t returned her calls.
“He’s in Keystone right now, but I’m sure he left what you need at his lab,” Patty responded, brushing past the detective as she made her way towards the lobby of the precinct. She had other work to do.
At least with Barry out of town she could go patrol without worrying about missing anything fun with him. She knew he was concerned about her heroic side job, though he had since stopped talking about it as much. She was working alongside the Flash, Central City’s own hero, who was quickly showing her the ropes to her newfound speed powers. As she exited the building, she ducked into a nearby alleyway and speedily changed into her Negative Flash outfit.
Pressing the communicator on the side of her cowl, she quickly tuned into the police frequency. The Flash told her to stick with petty crimes while he was away on Legion business, and thankfully nothing dire had occurred in the interim. She was quickly becoming accustomed to sprinting the streets of Central City without a thought, knowing the dips in the road, the turns and patterns of the traffic. It almost felt routine now, weaving around unsuspecting cars and friendly patrons that instinctively waved when a gust of wind raced past them. This was a city for heroes, and she was happy to count herself among them.
Suddenly she heard a strange alert inside her communicator, one that didn’t match anything she knew from the police or their personal frequency. That could only mean one thing: the Justice Legion.
“Am I speaking to Negative Flash?” a voice on the other end of the call said, sounding somewhat frantic.
“Speaking,” Patty responded, quickly racing toward her own apartment to gain some privacy. “What does the Justice Legion need from me? Is Flash okay?”
There was silence on the other end for a moment before the voice replied, “How quickly can you get to Blue Valley, Nebraska?”
Law Offices of Freeman, Katz and Freeman, Dakota City
Augustus Freeman glanced at his watch, impatiently waiting for his client to arrive. Though corporate lawsuits generally moved at a glacial pace, this case in particular worried him. The company they represented, Ocran Industries, was being sued for their allegedly dangerous pesticide known as Draxx. The suit was being settled out of court, but the party suing Ocran had demanded a face to face meeting with the CEO himself before they would accept the lump sum of $4.2 million and the signing of an NDA.
Freeman found himself across the table from a colleague of his, Gerald Waldman and his clients. Though Freeman had seen the chemical burns sustained by the workers in pictures placed into evidence, the sight of the extent of their injuries was far more apparent in person. Augustus smiled at the opposing counsel, and cleared his throat.
“I have assurance from my client he will be arriving momentarily,” Augustus said, feeling a twinge of guilt for the white lie he just told. “Allow me to ascertain his current whereabouts. If you’ll excuse me.”
Freeman stood from his chair and buttoned his suit jacket as Waldman did the same. His client stayed seated, the pain on his face evident. Giving them a nod as he left, Augustus took out his cell phone and dialed the number for Peter Harlan’s office.
“Mister Harlan left for the day to attend a golf fundraiser,” Harlan’s secretary Madeline replied as Augustus asked for his client’s location. “He said to give the man an extra million and offered a lifetime supply of the product.”
Augustus fumed quietly. Though he very much wished to vent his frustrations over the phone, he knew poor Madeline was merely the messenger for her boss. As such, he quietly thanked her and steeled himself for the unfortunate conversation he would have to endure for his client at his own expense.
“Listen, you’ve covered most of this case,” Freeman’s partner Saul Katz walked up behind him, patting him on the shoulder. “Let me give them the bad news. Your father would be proud of the work you’re doing.”
“Thank you, Saul,” Augustus responded as his colleague entered the boardroom behind them and closed the door. Yes, his previous self as Augustus Freeman III might have been able to sleep well at night after winning a case, but he found himself a changed… being. That was all thanks to Raquel. His former partner in his other line of work had taught him so much about the world in a way that never occurred to him. It had been too long since he’d spoken to her, perhaps she would understand now-
Augustus’s hearing caught the almost silent alarm of the Justice Legion communicator he had stashed in the office. Rushing over to the copy of Frederick Douglass’s My Bondage, My Freedom placed lovingly in the bookcase in his office, he pulled the thin device from inside the novel and placed it to his ear.
“Icon, are you there? We need your help.”
Augustus listened to the voice relay the crucial information about the task at hand and announced his intentions to provide aid. Through the closed doors he could hear the angry cries of the affected worker, furious about his lack of an opportunity to confront the man responsible for his deformities.
Icon made a note to help the man receive the justice he required, but knew his power was needed elsewhere at the moment.
Just outside Blue Valley
Karen Beecher looked over the assembled members of the Justice Legion: The former sidekick turned ambassador Tempest, the mysterious, but keen Negative Flash, the stalwart Icon, and her friend, Lilith the empath. They stationed themselves at an abandoned barn on the outskirts of the city limits. The heroes looked ready on the whole, prepared to battle with all of their strength. She hoped they would be enough.
“Now that Omen has provided you with the information we have,” Karen began, referring to Lilith by her former heroic moniker, “You know the stakes of this mission. We can’t allow this infection, this… invasion to spread past these borders. Though we’ve lost some members to this attack already, we now have knowledge of what exactly it is we’re dealing with, something our predecessors weren’t fully prepared for.”
“Bumblebee has provided all of you with psionic blockers that should prevent these creatures from entering your mind,” Lilith continued for her, holding up the ear buds and headbands. “We aren’t sure how effective they’ll be until we put them to the test, but I’ll do my best to provide additional mental protection. Your best bet is to prevent the creatures from making physical contact, as that seems to be their point of entry.”
Karen nodded in gratitude to her former teammate, and held up the Spectrum Gun. “Because we’re going up against some of the Legion’s heaviest hitters, we made sure to bring along the arsenal to incapacitate them until we can find a way to sever their control. I’ll be working with Tempest to fight against Superman. With his magic and this Spectrum Gun, we might be able to weaken him to the point of getting him under control. Negative Flash and Icon will work on the Flash, as you two are the only ones close enough speed wise to him. Lilith will be providing support as well as attempting to find the source of the control.”
She handed the particle decelerator to Negative Flash, who looked at her nervously. “This won’t… kill the Flash, will it?”
“All my equipment is strictly non-lethal, but I won’t lie and say it’ll be painless for him,” Karen explained, looking the speedster in the eyes. “We know they can take it, and this is our best chance at preventing them from hurting others.”
“What about Mister Miracle and Martian Manhunter? Weren’t they a part of the initial team?” Icon asked, his red and green outfitted form towering over the rest of the heroes.
“From the psychic blast I received, it seems as though Manhunter has shut his mind off to prevent the aliens from taking control of it,” Karen explained, pushing the memory of the total blackness from her mind. “I think the best bet is to leave him in that state until we can be sure the others are back. As for Mister Miracle, we might have to tag team him. There’s not a lot of information on him, so we’ll have to be prepared for anything.”
“What happens if one of us gets taken down?” Garth asked the question quietly, but it was one that was clearly on everyone’s mind.
“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.” Karen nodded solemnly. “Any other questions?”
The heroes all shook their heads, and the feeling Karen used to get before every battle soon filled her stomach. She’d been waiting for that feeling; it made everything real for her.
“Okay, let’s go to work.”
Karen flew high over the town, shrunk down to the size of her namesake as she surveyed the layout of the town. The downtown area of Blue Valley was covered in townsfolk, walking from building to building in a twisted mocking of normal life. She spotted Superman hovering over the general store, his vision passing over the controlled population as if a prison guard inspecting the inmates. The Flash buzzed up and down Main Street, stopping at each end for a few seconds before zipping back the way he came. It was an odd sight for sure.
Karen flew away from the town center, hoping to catch a glimpse of another place of interest that might house the master control center, but found nothing. It seemed like the only way forward was taking out the heroes and hoping they could provide some information.
Knowing Superman’s hearing would pick up any verbal communications to the other heroes, Karen typed out the situation for the rest of the team. After explaining the positioning, she knew she’d have seconds to get into place. The name of the game was keep away, as in keeping the heroes away from the civilians to prevent collateral damage and potential exposure to the parasites crawling over the people of the town.
Superman’s eyes passed over the buildings to Karen’s right, causing her adrenaline to spike. The usually friendly Man of Steel looked menacing as he malevolently searched for intruders, and Karen could see how many of the starfish-like aliens covered his body. She waited until he was almost looking directly at her, then fired her Spectrum Gun.
A flash of red heat burst from her device, colliding with the young man’s chest as he was sent flying backwards. That was the signal to attack.
Karen saw the Flash turn towards her and begin to sprint, only for another rush of wind to intercept the red blur. She couldn’t physically see what happened, but she knew Icon and Negative Flash had whisked the Fastest Man Alive away from the town. The rest of the townsfolk turned toward her simultaneously, and she took off into the air towards where Superman was shot.
Seeing the collapsed structure of a house a block away, Karen rushed towards it. Superman was just beginning to rise from within the debris, his chest smoking from the concentrated radiation. He fired a blast of heat vision in her direction that she nimbly dodged. The concussive blast sputtered as it came from his eyes, a sign that her Spectrum Gun had done its job. She saw Garth rush towards him, his own eyes glowing violet as twin beams hit the Man of Steel right in the still steaming spot. She saw him writhe with pain before dodging the beams. He tossed the siding of the house towards Garth, who sliced it in two with a large gush of water.
Karen felt the gun prime in her hand for another blast and fired towards Superman. However, the half-Kryptonian was ready for the attack, and quickly brought up the refrigerator door to block the shot.
Garth looked worriedly at Karen, his thoughts mirroring her own. He was starting to get his powers back already. They were in for a tough fight.
“Flash, this isn’t you! Snap out of it!”
Patty pleaded with her partner as she and Icon pushed him through the city streets into an aged auto shop. She looked into his eyes for any sign of the hero she knew, only to find them blank and vacant. Out of the corner of her eye she saw one of the stars attached to his side leap at her, causing her to pull one arm off of the Flash in order to bat it away from her. He slipped from her grasp and vaulted over Icon, landing with a flourish on top of a raised hatchback that had been in the process of getting inspected.
“They only called for one of you I see,” the Flash said in a voice that wasn’t his own. “You need the whole gang to take me down.”
Patty raised the decelerator and fired it at the Scarlet Speedster, who phased through the truck as the blast struck the wall behind him. Icon stomped the ground as the Flash landed, sending the speedster tripping onto the floor. Seeing the opportunity, she aimed and fired, connecting with the crimson costume. The blurriness began to come into focus as the blast hit him, almost freezing him like a snapshot.
“You’ll need to keep firing at him until we can come up with a more viable solution,” Icon reported as he continued to stomp the ground. Negative Flash complied, firing shot after shot into the Flash as he tried to get up and approach them. It would’ve almost been comical seeing him frozen in the various positions if she didn’t see how terrifying his face was. A large smile creeped over him, and Patty noticed he was getting closer and closer despite Icon’s destruction of the pavement below him and her deceleration gun. Soon he was right on top of them, and his hand was reaching for the gun.
Icon cocked his fist back with astounding speed and slammed it into his chest, sending the Fastest Man Alive through the wall of the auto shop.
“You killed him!” Patty shouted, seeing his crumpled form through the massive hole in the wall.
“I believe you are mistaken,” Icon said, priming himself for round two as the Flash effortlessly rose like a puppet on strings. It was clear what was in control of him, and Patty steeled herself for the next wave.
Lilith made her way through the streets of the town, projecting a mental screen around her that normally enabled her to become invisible in the minds of those in her area. Judging from the lack of response from the townsfolk that walked past her without a care in the world, she saw that the old trick still worked, even with mind controlled civilians.
Karen was right, there seemed to be no sign of where the creatures originated from. She had tried to reach out to one of the citizens that passed her, only to find their own mental block was in place. Nobody seemed to be protecting anything. It was like they were just lying in wait.
She felt a shadow pass over her and saw the caped form of Mister Miracle appear out of the general store. He seemed to be headed in the direction of one of the battles her friends had started, and Lilith knew she couldn’t allow another opponent to impede their tasks. Reaching out with her mind, she felt the familiar green aura surround her as she sent shards of solidified psychic energy hurling towards the twin disks he flew on. The shards connected, causing Mister Miracle to begin careening towards the ground at a fast pace. He quickly regained his feet and rushed over to her, the mental smokescreen clearly broken. However, she saw him stop abruptly inches from her, the star creatures on him seemingly frozen.
“Help… me…” he whispered as the eyes beneath his mask became clear. Lilith realized that somehow he was fighting the control. She nodded, and quickly wracked her brain for ways she could break him out of it. She tried prying the starfish off of him, only for them to latch onto him even more. She projected a mental shockwave towards them, but they seemed unaffected. The only way she could fight them, she deduced, was within.
Judging how all the star aliens seemed to react simultaneously to everything she tried, Lilith deduced they might be connected by some sort of hive mind. If she could travel within the network that they all seemed to be linked by, she might be able to free the heroes. Especially if the bodies they were controlling were currently preoccupied with their own battle.
Taking a deep breath, she removed her psychic-shielding circlet and quickly touched one of the stars on Mister Miracle’s body. The alien seemed to realize a new host was available as it leapt at her face and sunk her into blackness.
Lilith felt the urge to relax, to let go of the struggle. It almost consumed her, like a wildfire spreading rapidly through a dry forest. However, the thought of her friends in need, combined with the psionic blockers and her own mental fortitude allowed her to push past the need to give up and gave her light again.
She found herself in a large pulsing sky, with veins running across the red flesh that had absorbed the stars. She saw people suspended from the ceiling, floating in the void of the mental network she had hacked her way into. Lilith had astral projected herself on one mission with the Titans, and the sensation she felt in this strange new world was not unlike the feeling of her soul leaving her body.
Rising up to the people, she saw a transparent webbing covering their minds, their eyes blank and heads tilted towards the red void. She recognized the bodies of Superman and the Flash, each one quivering as if beginning to seize. On the far side of the line was Mister Miracle, and Lilith could see that the hero seemed to be actively struggling against the webbing connected to his head.
She had heard he could escape anything.
Quickly, she grabbed his hand. He seemed to jump at the new presence, but as Lilith projected her positive energy into him, he renewed his struggle. She saw the sinew begin to detach from his face, the grit and determination etched across his maskless face. Soon the webbing tore free, leaving her next to a panting Mister Miracle.
“Wow, that’s the toughest escape yet,” he joked, catching his mental breath as he examined the woman that helped him. “Glad you came along when you did, but honestly I would’ve been out of there in another hour.”
“I believe you,” Lilith said, her words mentally landing in his mind. “Would you like to help me free the others?”
Scott Free smiled. “It would be an honor.”
Karen dropped her Spectrum Gun as the shell began to glow with energy, knowing she’d pushed the weapon to its breaking point. The skirmish that seemed to have lasted for hours she knew had only been a few minutes, but as she looked at Garth’s fatigued face she had the sneaking suspicion they wouldn’t last much longer.
“Running out of tricks, I see,” Superman growled, batting Garth aside as the Atlantean charged him. “Soon we can put your mind to better use than those toys you created.”
Superman began to approach Karen, his eyes glowing red. Suddenly, the star creatures on him began to shudder, as if a massive wave struck all around them. Karen saw Superman’s eyes turn back to the familiar shade of blue, a pleading look replacing the vacancy that was there before.
“Help me… fight it,” he moaned, his arm quivering as it reached for one of the stars. She saw him pull it off as he gasped in pain, the alien shriveling in his hand as it disconnected. She rushed up to him and began tugging at the creatures with all of her might, blasting them with her stingers as Garth soon joined the fray. Superman fell to his knees from the immense pain overwhelming him, the stars around him dying as they lost contact with his body. Soon one star remained.
“This is going to hurt,” Garth said to the Man of Steel, who summoned enough energy to say-
“Do it.”
Garth unleashed his violet eye beams at the star on Superman’s neck as the hero screamed in pain. Karen saw the alien bisected as it fell to the ground, with the hero following suit. They had freed him.
“Bumblebee, this is Negative Flash. We’ve managed to free Flash from the parasites. We can provide assistance if needed.”
“We’re all set here,” Karen breathed in relief as the Man of Steel slowly rose up, his eyes clear and full of gratitude. “Let’s regroup and figure out our final moves.”
The recovered heroes gathered in the empty shell that was the general store, surrounding the unmoving body of J’onn J’onzz. Icon and Superman stood by the doors of the building, watching for any signs of intruders or wayward aliens. Though Karen wanted nothing more than to celebrate their hard fought victory, she knew there was still work to be done.
Lilith bent over the Martian Manhunter and placed her hands on his temples. The store was silent as they waited with bated breath for the martian to revive. The green skinned alien’s red eyes opened suddenly as he quickly rose from the ground.
“You should not have woken me,” he said gravely. “We cannot allow the aliens to gain access to my abilities.” He looked around the room, now recognizing the heroes surrounding him. “You have been freed.”
“The cavalry arrived, just like you wanted,” the Flash said with a smile. “We need you for the final battle.”
“We have a general idea where the source of these creatures might be, but we don’t have any specifics,” Superman said from the front of the store. “Think you can lend us your mind to find it?”
J’onn nodded and placed his hand on the Flash’s cowl. “It seems the point of origin for these creatures is underneath the town itself. The strongest signals are coming from beneath this very store.”
“That’s weird. I made a pass with my x-ray vision and couldn’t see anything like that,” Superman said uneasily, clearly disappointed he hadn’t found an entrance.
“The hive mind placed blocks on your mind, preventing you from gaining access to their vulnerable areas,” the Martian Manhunter explained. “You cannot see what they won’t let you believe even exists.”
Karen pressed her goggles and did a scan of the store, noticing a trapdoor beneath the frozen food section. “I’m picking up a door in the freezer. Maybe that’s our way in?”
The heroes rushed for the door, only for the entire building to suddenly shake with the power of a massive earthquake. Karen felt herself get pulled suddenly by an unseen force, only to find herself outside the store as the Flash dropped her and Lilith off on the sidewalk across the street. The rest of the heroes followed as the ground beneath the store began to crumble. The storefront collapsed, revealing a giant version of the alien creatures that rose from the wreckage. Dirt and debris plummeted towards the ground and the civilians wandering below. The Legion leapt into action, with Superman and Icon swooping in to save a couple while the Flash and his negative counterpart rushed to push the controlled victims out of the way of falling rocks. Tempest magicked a wave of water that froze above the crowd and blocked the debris from reaching them. Mister Miracle rushed into the rising dust to pull out a small boy and Karen found herself reflexively flying into the frey herself, pulling a girl and her mother out of the way of the storefront that fell where they once stood.
As Karen inspected the mother and daughter, she saw the stars attached to them suddenly pry themselves off and fly into the sky, entering the massive star at an alarming pace. Looking around her, she saw the entire town covered in the star creatures as they rose into the air to join their fellow aliens.
“They’re making a tactical retreat,” Icon remarked as the heroes gathered with the townspeople below the shadow of the star ship. “Shall we pursue?”
“I think they know they’re outgunned,” Superman said, a smile crossing his face. “Looks like we live to fight another day.”
Karen couldn’t help but smile as she saw the town slowly blink back to life. Families embraced each other, friends and neighbors shook hands and exchanged laughs. The town would take a long time to heal, but she was sure they would be alright.
The Watchtower
“Quite the view, isn’t it?”
Dick Grayson approached Karen as she stared out the window into the vast expanse of space, gazing at the stars that she’d longed to visit when she was young. Now, here she was among them.
“I bet it’s something you never get used to,” Karen replied, prying her eyes from the beautiful view of Earth as she turned to greet her old friend. They hugged, the weight of their shared years behind the masks they wore momentarily suspended by each other’s presence.
“It really isn’t,” Dick remarked, pulling out of the hug. “How would you feel about being able to see that view whenever you wanted?”
Karen studied Dick’s face, trying to tell if he was joking or not. As usual, the old Boy Wonder was impossible to read.
“I hope you mean as a visitor, because you know I’m retired,” she said.
Dick nodded, but she could tell it wasn’t a nod of acceptance. “The Legion was impressed. I was impressed, and I know what you’re capable of. You’re a natural born leader, and we can use someone like you.” Dick reached into his pocket and pulled out one of the Legion’s coveted communicators.
Karen looked at the thin piece of technology in his hands and weighed her options. On one hand, the idea of suiting up like in the old days exhausted her. She wasn’t the spry young girl that joined the Teen Titans searching for adventure and friends. She did her time as Bumblebee, it was time for others to step up.
On the other hand, she couldn’t deny how great it felt seeing the people she saved in Blue Valley, Nebraska. Without her and the rest of the Legion, they might have never broken free of those Starro creatures. The thrill was still there, she couldn’t deny that. And what harm would it be to help out every once in a while? It’s not like they needed her to be a hero 24/7.
Karen placed her hand on the communicator and picked it up, a large smile creeping onto her face.
“Let’s go to work.”
submitted by dwright5252 to DCNext [link] [comments]

I'm stuck in a dark place...and I need some advice. Please

It took alot for my boyfriend to write this, so I helped him, and I hope someone can give some advice or just a read, is all I ask. This is his story....
I was born in California, and me and my family moved to NY when I was barely a year old. My family being my grandparents, their 3 children (my mom and 2 uncles) and myself. My dad was killed before we moved...he was only 16. I wish he was here til this very day, and maybe my life wouldnt be as fucked up as it is. But I cant blame anyone but myself for my actions.
Anyway, I was basically raised by my grandparents up until my younger teens and my grandmother played a very important role in my life. So did my grandfather. Not saying my mother or uncles didnt but my grandparents raised me basically.
I grew up in a small decent town. Always was told I was smart and hung out with the older crowd. Was a quiet kid. I dropped out in 11th grade and got my GED. Why? Dont ask me...a couple of my good friends had dropped out at the time and I think I wanted to follow them. Probably one of the first big mistakes of my life. I dont know why I dropped out, I never failed a grade or anything at that point in life, and actually was blessed to be very smart and could of basically successfully taken any route in life I put my mind to. But instead I dropped out and started running the streets thinking it was cool at the time. Drinking, throwing parties, going to the studio (writing and making music has always been a passion) and just doing reckless teenager shit.
Out of all the friends I had, I was very close to 6 of them. 6 of those friends whom I considered brothers who always had my back as I did theirs. I started smoking weed when I was 16 and drank here and there but at the time weed was my drug of choice...
Right before my 17th birthday I tried some coke, and it became a party drug for me. I would smoke weed everyday, and drink on the weekends doing coke with friends. I was always able to keep some type of income coming in, and moved out when I was about 22 after i met the love of my life who I'm with til this very day. We had got a place in town, and not long after got a car. Life was good.
At this point in time, I started to make decisions I didnt know was going to effect me til this day, 11 years later. Shortly after, me and her got our own place. I started selling coke to keep some money flowing when I wasnt working. She didnt necessarily approve of it, but the money I was bringing in was good. She also didnt know I was using coke, I always kept it from her because shes a mirror of me. I didnt want to see such a beautiful woman doing that type of shit. Especially the one I loved.
We were living in that place for about 2 years.
One night at the new place me and one of the 6 friends I basically considered a brother were playing dice in my kitchen with my other 5 friends. We'll call him T. Me and T were rolling dice, betting, having a good time......until the stakes got high, and tensions rose. We ended up having some words over a bet, and almost faught. We almost faught because I had him up so high, and he had still owed me $300 I let him borrow the previous week to give his son a good birthday and I just felt he was trying to get over on me. The air got thick, and I brought it up how I felt like he was trying to play me and we ended up arguing resulting in me throwing him out in front of our 5 other good friends. 10 minutes later I started to feel bad (idk why but I have a good heart even when ppl fuck me over) I called him because I was going to apologize and go pick him back up but he didnt answer. Oh well.
2 nights later....
I pulled up to the gas station to grab some gas, at about 1am. As I pulled up to the pump I noticed my mom also pulling in, parking into a parking space further from my car. As she got out and didnt notice I was at the pump I ran over to her as she was about to walk into the store.
"Hey what's up mom, what you doing out this late?" "Oh hey, I'm just grabbing some cigarettes for tmrw, im almost out" "Can I use your lighter" I asked...i wanted to light my blunt i had in the car. "Yeah" she says as she reaches in her pocket, looking towards her car. "Here just buy one, I think I left mine home, I have to get going" She handed me a 20 dollar bill and ran to her car and pulled off. As she was pulling away I'm thinking, what the hell? That was odd. At that point I knew something was up. But didnt know what. I shook it off.
I got gas, I left the gas station and went home. I smoked my blunt when I got home and my phone went off...it was one of my licks (someone who was a frequent buyer). She asked if i would trade her a ball for her script of Oxy 10s. At the time I knew those sold just as good, if not better, than the coke. And the script was a 90 count. I sold balls for 150 and I knew I could sell that script for 450 if not more. That wasnt even a question for me. Told her to bring em, I hooked her up and she she went on her way.
That following weekend I remember coming home, opening my drawer, going into my stash and doing one more line, after a long night of partying. I sat in the kitchen and finished a drink I poured as I tried to come down. I went to bed and tossed and turned, and after a night of coke and ciroc, the room kept spinning and I just couldn't sleep. I got up and went in my cupboard to get some tylenol PM when I seen the oxy bottle. I thought, you know what. I'm gunna pop one of these bad boys, I bet that will get me some sleep. Opened the bottle, slid one out, grabbed some water and swallowed one. I sat in my living room and turned on my ps3, and played COD until I felt the effects.
About 45 minutes into playing, I noticed not only did my comedown come WAY down, I felt good. Really good. Next thing you know its 9am and my girls waking me up on the couch. I had fell asleep with the controller in my hands.
At this point I started using the oxys to come down everytime I sniffed coke. And that was probably 3 times a week.
I got a phone call at about 3am later that week from one of the 6 friends I considered a brother. We're going to call him J. J called me and was frantic. I could hear in his voice he was scared, very scared. I asked what the hell is wrong man? What's going on???? He says, "listen me and my girl just got into a big fight. She kicked me out and now I'm walking the streets. I have no where to go and have warrants man please pick me up and let me stay over just for tonight." I told him without a doubt, went and picked him up and let him stay in my studio. (I had put about 7,000 towards a home studio which I had a room dedicated to which also had a twin bed off to the corner.)
Me and him went into the studio, talked about his problems, I tried to ease him, we smoked and I went to bed.
The next day I got up, went in the studio, and he was gone. I picked up the phone dialed his number, and he answered.
"Where did you go??" I asked.
"I had one of these guys I know picked me up to get a couple things from my house but I'm on my way back right now, he wants to know if he can buy a ball" he says.
"I dont know him bro, you know how we get down, I mean if you trust him, you can give it to him and just pay me but I dont know him" I said.
"Ok I'm on the way" he replied. 10 minutes later he shows up, I look out the window and theres like 3 ppl in the car. He got out by himself, came upstairs, I give him the ball, he gives me the money and he goes straight into the bathroom. 5 minutes go by, I knock on the bathroom door, ask if hes alright, "yeah coming out now " he replied. He dapped me up coming out of the bathroom, said hed be back, and left.... I didnt hear from him all day.
That night I picked my girl up from work at 11pm. I pulled into my driveway, we both came upstairs. "SHIT" my girl says. "I still have the keys for the med box on me, I need to go back and drop them off for the next shift, I'm not supposed to bring them home" I gave her the car keys and she bolted out the door in a rush "Be right back babe" she says. Not even 30 seconds after she walked out the door, there was a knock....
Not even thinking to check out the window to see who it was, I figured it was her to run back in and grab her cellphone she had forgotten, so I unlocked the dead bolt and opened the door. Boy was I wrong....
As I opened the door, all I could remember was staring into a set of eyes behind a ski mask as he quickly began to choke me. He choked me until I literally couldnt breathe and threw me backwards, into my glass coffee table. As I laid there in broken glass, I tried to get up as quick as I can as he went for the door to shut and lock it back up when he turned around and grabbed me. We wrestled around for a couple seconds in glass and he gained a full mount on top of me, choking me again. He was saying "dont try anything stupid or you're dead, pulled out a machete and put it to my throat. As I sat there bleeding from the glass, sweating, breathing as hard as I ever did, I stared in his as and nodded my head yes. At this point I knew I was going to die if I kept trying to fight back. So I started to comply. Remind you, I'm in sweats, my gun is under my couch cushion, and all I'm thinking is "just work with him, get him calm, and go for the gun". As I shook my head to imply I'm surrendering, he says, "I just want the coke. Give me the coke and I wont kill you" "where is it" he says, as hes looking towards the kitchen as if he knew it was somewhere in there. He put the machete back to my throat and says "sit Indian style with your hands behind your back" at this point I knew he was going to kill me, and the way he looked in the kitchen where the coke was, I thought this was someone that already knew where it was. I didnt recognize his voice, so I'm thinking someone tipped him off and this was a set up.
As soon as he ordered me to sit Indian style with my hands behind my back, I got up as quick as I could and went for my gun.
We started wrestling again.
He was much stronger than I was, and after a couple blows as he gained control, he was back in the dominant position. He told me to get on my stomach as he took his machete and put it to the back of my head as he started flipping my couch cushion. He found the gun, grabbed it, and started laughing. He cocks it back, made sure one was in the chamber, and goes "if you try some silly shit like that again I'll blow your head off. Now stay still"
As I laid there on my stomach, he started opening closets. The second one he opened was in the hallway where I kept my towels and other miscellaneous crap. He grabbed a towel, and some clear masking tape I had in there, used his machete to cut the towel in half vertically, tied my hands behind my back, along with with my feet, all together, in a hog tie sort of style and dragged me to the kitchen. At this point I thought I was done. In my head I'm saying my prayers and started to tear up. This was my last night of my life I'm thinking. He found the coke, did a giant line in front of me, and put the rest in his pocket. About $800 worth I had left that he took. He then proceeded to drag me into my bedroom and started going through the closet and all my drawers. I just sat there, tied up in silence. He found a few more hundred dollars I had in the drawer along with mine and my girls ID. He knelt down and shoved my girls ID in my face.
"Do you wanna see her ever again?" He yells.
I yelled, "please, just go man, you got what you came here for"
He replies, "if she shows up right now, you know I have no choice but to kill the both of you right?"
"Just go man, please" I uttered. Knowing her job was only 5 minutes away, and about 15 minutes had passed, I knew she was bound to show up at any second.
"PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU TO JUST LEAVE DUDE" I implied, still hogtied, bloody, and shaking.
"I want you to count to 60, and do not get up until you count to 60. I wanna hear you count out loud. If you try any funny shit you're dead."
"Ok, ok" I replied.
He ran out the room as I started to count. As I got to 20, I started to get up and tried to untied myself as I was still counting when he ran back into the room suddenly and boom.....
I woke up to my girlfriend on top of me sobbing, screaming, "WAKE UP PLEASE!!!!" Slapping me.
I'm disoriented. Everything's a blur. As I started to come to, my girlfriend was balling her eyes out. She started hugging me, asking me frantically what had happened. I noticed my left eye was swollen shut. My glasses were gone. And I had a lump on my temple the size of a golf ball.
He hit me, I thought to myself.
He must have hit me with something other than his fist with the damage I had to the side of my face.
"Thank you" I kept repeating to my girlfriend. "Thank you baby". She looked at me confused as hell and says, "for what?!? What the hell happened ?!?"
"Thank you for not coming home when that happened. I just got set up and if you would of walked in that door, we both would of had a bullet with our name on it with my own gun." I said.
I explained to her what had happened and we both decided to leave that night. Not knowing who, how or what necessarily just happened I was confused. I needed to get away and think straight.
Who did this to me? Who set me up? Why would this happen, I try to show everyone extra love with all my power who the hell would do this to me?
I had a couple things in mind, a couple people on my radar as you might have had as well reading this, but I didnt know for certain. I had to do some digging.
That night we packed and left to stay with my uncle until we could find another place.
I got a phone call not long after this had happened and it wasnt good. My grandmother....she was sick. My mom had called me and told me we were all going to her drs appointment the next day because shes getting tested and stuff for cancer.
Oh my god. Cancer. I immediately started praying in tears.
The next day the family went to the hospital with her. Impatiently waiting in that room beside her bed with my mother and grandfather, as the doctor came back in. The look on his face told it all. I let out a yell from deep inside of me.
"NO, PLEASE TELL ME NO" I yelled.
"I'm sorry" the doctor says. "The mass in your lungs, is cancer'
My grandfather let out a scream I've never heard before. "Jesus christ, please tell me different " he says My mother started crying her eyes out. I couldnt believe it. I look over at my grandmother and she was staring at the ceiling. Calm. Her eyes started to water as she looked over at us, and says "it's okay, please stop crying, its ok" Growing up, my grandmother has always been the strongest person I knew. And she was the calmest one in the room at that very moment.
As time went on, I moved into my grandparents and vouched to take care of her, as her health deteriorated over time, and eventually got put on hospice.
I will never forget the day she went. She was very sick that day. Kept going in and out of it, and wasnt acting normal at all. I called my mother and told her. My mother rushed over along with my uncles and sisters, and as soon as everyone sat in the living room with my grandmother in her recliner, she put her head down and passed. It's as if she was waiting for everyone to get there to go. As she put her head down the room filled with this unexplainable air. Everyone started crying, as I walked over to her, kissed her on the forehead and told her I loved her and grabbed her hand and couldnt let go as my eyes are pouring tears.
I will always remember the night before she passed. I kept a baby monitor in my room and one in hers, everytime I heard her at night struggling or anything out of the ordinary I would rush to her room and make sure she was ok. The night before she passed, I'm laying in bed and I heard her over the monitor trying her all to say something. I rushed into her room and asked if everything was okay. She looked at me and struggled to get enough air in her lungs to say, "i.....love....you...very....much.....thank....you....baby" I grabbed her hand and tried not to cry and told her, "dont thank me grandma, that's what I'm here for. To make sure you're okay" she smiled and gripped my hand tight. I kissed her on the forehead and told her I loved her. Not knowing she was going to pass that next day.
This is starting to get very hard for me to write so I'm going to wrap it up.
Basically the night I seen my mom at the gas station and she was acting weird...well I found out she was with T. Yeah, the T I called my brother growing up. I think he felt some type of way the night we fought in front of our friends, or maybe he felt embarrassed. Embarrassed to the point where he wanted revenge. They got together and are still together til this day. I beat myself up time and time again, always remembering that night we were rolling dice betting, and always say to myself, damn it, why cant you ever be more humble with people. Especially your friends, it didnt have to go down like that and you didnt have to kick him out and embarrass him in front of everyone. It's something I beat myself up about everyday. The way I get with people when I feel betrayed.
Today I have major trust issues and always have my guard up. I tend to not let anyone in anymore.
Oh....and The guy who ran up in my house....I got set up by J. My other boy I called "brother". I guess the day I called him after he left when he said he had a lick, that's who it was for. It was for the guy that took my pride and robbed me in my own house. The guy that ran up in my house and tied me up.
Remember when I said J went into the bathroom after i gave him the coke that day? Well he went in there to cut it. He cut the ball so bad, it was basically all fake when he went and served the guy up, and the guy pressed J about it, and J told him everything; Where my coke was, what my girls work schedule was like, etc., so this guy can plot on me and come at the right time when I was alone. He was outside the whole time waiting for me to get back home that night and when my girl left, that was his opportunity.
I'm trying to go into as much detail as I can but this is not only a struggle to write about, but is getting long and I want this to be read. I need help.
I basically turned to what i knew at the time made me feel best, and those were the oxys. I really started abusing them until it came to the point where I either couldn't find them anymore or they were too expensive and at this point I'm withdrawaling. At which point I started sniffing heroin, and now i have a powder fentanyl habit that's high as the sky. Each and every time I get high, thinking and grieving. Wishing I could turn back time.
I can say a few things tho. Thank god I'm terrified, literally terrified of needles or i probably would have shot up a long time ago. And I thank god I'm still alive. Out of the past few years of me sniffing fentanyl, I overdosed 1 time, and if it wasnt for my girl hearing me fall on the kitchen floor at midnight waking her, I would of died on that floor that night. They had to bring me back to life that night.
I've pushed the little family I have away over this bullshit, and my life is in shambles. I've considered suicide a few times in my life throughout this hell journey but never had the balls to do it and always remind myself I'm better than this.
Today I'm currently laying down in my room in rehab. I'm 20 days clean, for the first time since I started popping oxys 5years ago. But it's hard. Very hard. I dont know what to do when I get out and I'm scared. Any words of motivation or advice would be appreciated. I know this was a long one and it was very hard to write and this probably wont get read because its so long, and probably isn't even 35% of what I've gone through in my life, but I just want to open up about this. Something I've never done as a quiet humble person. I'd need to write a book if I wrote about everything. Things that movies are made from. I'm still alive and I know it's for a reason.
If you got this far, thank you for taking the time to at least read about some of my journey and any words of advice, courage, or wisdom will be much appreciated. I lost everyone, and the only one helping me til this day is my girl and my mom. Everyone else that truly cared I pushed away during this time.
I'm lost and just want my life back. I know I'm better than this but I'm losing hope by the day.
Reminding you, this is my boyfriend of 11 years' story. He wrote it, I posted it. I help him write as well....and encouraged him to tell this story.
submitted by itsadub to REDDITORSINRECOVERY [link] [comments]

Meet The Freak 6

First | Prev | Next
Wallace
The stew Valentine had provided was hearty fare, prepared with some of the stock carried in our remaining pack, and bottled water fetched from below. She'd even worked out sleeping arrangements, despite us being down one tent and one bedroll.
The sky was clear enough, so hoping it wouldn't rain, she'd reworked the tent and groundsheet into a makeshift bedroll. Both it and her own bedroll had been set up near the door, clear of the golf-ball-sized gravel that covered most of the roof. Not that the concrete was going to be much more comfortable, but after ten or so hours at a forced march, I was tired enough that it wasn't likely to matter.
And there was the sky. A sheet of stars unmolested by artificial light, and so bright that it seemed unreal. I'd lived in big cities all my life, where the best I might see would be only the very brightest stars, Orion's belt perhaps, and the inner planets.
But as I sat there and ate my stew, it felt as if the whole galaxy was laid out, right before my eyes. In fact, I finally understood why it was called 'The Milky Way'. Without all the lights of a city to drown it out, a thick arc of white could be seen, like drops of milk against the black sky. Perhaps it wasn't the galaxy I knew, but it was a galaxy, seen not through a massive telescope perched atop a mountain and carefully shielded from the lights of civilization, but with the naked eye.
"Such childlike wonder," Valentine remarked, and meeting her gaze, I found she was smiling, "And here I thought I had a brute for a travelling companion."
I gave her a wry smile, "Sometimes it does feel like I'm a skinny little nerd trapped in a giant's body."
She set her bowl aside, "What did you do before all this? You say you know how to fight, have you played bodyguard before, or is your family from the landed nobility?"
"Neither, learning how to fight was just one of many nerdy hobbies," I admitted, "No, I guess the closest analogue would be a scribe? The tech my job relied on is probably a couple thousand years off for Pelignos, maybe five hundred for Parabuteo."
Valentine smirked, "I cannot help but laugh at the image of those huge hands clutching a tiny quill. I would have thought that one your size would have played to those strengths, indulging in martial, rather than scholarly pursuits."
I shook my head, "In a modern military my size would probably be more a liability than an asset. Those pistols you have, for example, imagine a weapon like them, but with a dozen times the power. Then imagine they never fail to work, can fire ten times a second, and are accurate out to half a mile. And that's just what the average man might carry, our equivalent to siege weapons have ranges measured in miles and throw explosive shells that have enough force to level small buildings. My strength wouldn't do a whole lot for me, and I'm a damn big target."
Valentine's expression grew a great deal more serious, "With such weapons, war among your people must be particularly terrible."
I let out a long breath, "Yeah, yeah it is. But on the whole, I'd say it's better. It's better now than it was fifty years ago, and fifty years ago it was better than it was a century ago," I was silent for a long moment, pondering, "Makes me wonder about Simon. He probably has a pretty good idea of just how much life sucked for most of history, and I bet he can justify anything to himself if it's in the name of bringing some twenty-first-century civilization to Pelignos."
"And building a harem of sorceresses and noblewomen, that's just a bonus?" Valentine asked, a sour expression on her face.
"Prick probably thinks he deserves it," I shrugged, "A reward for good behaviour."
I was roused, brought to a drowsy half-wakefulness by a soft chiming sound, and was ready to roll over and go back to sleep when I felt a small hand on my shoulder, shaking me awake.
I yawned and sat up, the cool night air chilly against my bare skin. Valentine had elected to sleep in her jumpsuit, but my clothes had still been all run through with dirt and grit from my encounter with the landslide, so they'd been washed and hung to dry while we slept.
Valentine's gaze lingered on my chest as she quieted the enchanted chime and secreted it away in one of her pockets. But her gaze wasn't desirous or hungry. Instead, it was jealous, resentful even, though in the dim light of the magical torch turned low, I doubted she realized I could make out her expression.
She turned her back and busied herself with packing up camp while I dressed. There were a few patches of damp at the cuffs, but that would dry in time, and it was a hell of a lot better than spending another whole day in dirty, itchy clothes.
"Alright," I said once I was done, "I'm decent."
Valentine twisted the head of the torch, and the brightness increased.
"Almost done here," she said, "Have we any other business here, or shall we be off?"
"There's a safe downstairs that I'd like to take a look at before we go," I recalled.
"Very well, you investigate, I'll be down in a moment," she promised.
I picked up my backpack full of granola bars and other sundries, slung the poleaxe, now with a braided strap fashioned from the remains of the tattered case it had come in. I ducked inside, yawning as I descended the stairs, and brought my torch alive. The sudden brightness made me squint and turned the light down to a level that was comfortable before investigating the safe.
It looked very much like an oversized and overbuilt locker, painted beige and done in quarter inch steel instead of sheet metal. The lock wasn't the stereotypical dial, but an electronic number pad. I knew I could crack a combination lock, but it would take a while, and I didn't know if it was worth the delay. An electronic lock was a different story however, especially since I didn't know how many digits were required. It might be trivial, or it could be practically impossible, particularly if there was a limit to how many times a wrong entry could be made.
First step of cracking uncrackable passwords, look for the sticky note.
There was nothing stuck to or on top of the safe, so I checked the desk with the ancient computer. But there was nothing stuck to the monitor, under the keyboard, or in any of the drawers.
Returning to the keypad itself, I noticed that five of the digits were noticeably more worn than the others.
Assuming no duplicates, I think that's five to the power five possible combinations? So... five, twenty-five, a hundred and twenty-five, six hundred and something... So about three thousand or so possibilities.
Still far too many for me to try in any reasonable amount of time. I could probably do it in a couple of days, but it probably wasn't worth the trouble, for all I knew the coins would contain so little mana that it would be a waste of time.
Something to ask Valentine once she gets down I suppose.
I gave the lock a jiggle, and found that after cracking the paint that it could slide a few inches to each side.
Hmm, that was curious, like it had been stuck on by magnets. I just couldn't get enough leverage on the smooth metal to pull it off.
I recalled a metal ruler I'd noticed while rummaging about the desk, and slipped it in between the lock and the door of the safe.
I heard the stairs creak slightly as Valentine descended them, and had just popped the lock off the door when she joined me.
"Any luck?" she asked.
There was a hole in the door about an inch across, and a wire ran through from the back of the lock. I didn't have a whole lot of slack, but I got a clear look at the back of the lock, and the nine-volt battery that powered it.
"I think I can get this thing open, have you got a knife?"
"Have I got a knife," she repeated in a mocking tone.
I pried the battery out, "Fine," I laughed, "Can I borrow one of your knives, pretty please."
"Only because you asked so nicely," she insisted, pressing the hilt into my open hand.
I cut the wires as close to the lock as I could, and with the battery still in hand, stripped a bit of plastic from the end of each wire. I was careful not to let the wires slip back inside, and twisted one around the larger of the battery's terminals. With that done, I touched the remaining wire to the other terminal, and was rewarded with a chunk as the solenoid retracted, unlocking the safe.
"I am," I informed her, "A genius."
"What treasures have you discovered for us today, oh wise one," she said in a wry monotone.
"Let's see," I mused, checking each of the shelves in turn, "Some useless documents, a little handgun, a pair of magazines for it, and I don't know, a couple grand?"
I picked up the pistol, a slim and compact Saturday night special. It wasn't a bad looking gun, with a heavily blued finish and dark wood grips, but my fingers wouldn't fit the trigger guard. I pulled back the slide halfway and found the chamber loaded, though the safety was on.
"You want it?" I offered, "It's not much good to me."
"It appears rather feeble," she observed, though she accepted it all the same.
"Compared to those wheel locks you've got, yeah, probably, but you get more than two shots," I checked one of the magazines before handing both of those over, "Six actually. It won't take down a horse, but a man would find it a little startling."
She took the magazines, and I spent a couple of minutes, making sure she understood how it worked before returning to the remaining contents of the safe.
I pulled out a wad of cash with one hand, and a fistful of rolled coin with the other. I'd reasoned that if a box of old tools held enough mana to buy a really lovely poleaxe, then it was fair to assume that the coins, in a much more convenient package to carry, would be of at least some use. Though I doubted the same could be said for the linen bills.
"Is there much mana in either of these?"
"Those coins, absolutely," Valentine nodded, "It varies depending on the metal, but mana of any type is valuable, if not to us, than to trade with someone else. I don't know what sort of mana those papers would have though, and I'm not certain that they'd contain much mana in any case."
I furrowed my brows, looked down at the bills clutched in one hand, frowned, and then looked back up at her. I found her grimacing, her gaze on the floor.
"Oh," I said flatly, realizing for the first time that I'd never actually seen her use her own magic.
"Yeah," she sighed.
"So, how much of it was bullshit?" I asked simply.
"I know about magic," she promised, her gaze still on the floor, "I can even do magic, but beyond metals and gemstones, I'm not familiar with where the various mana types can be found."
I let the bills flutter to the floor, and stuffed the rolled coin into a pocket, "I feel like that's kinda important when it comes to doing magic."
"Magic-users are a jealous sort," she said with a stiff shrug, "Beyond metals and gemstones, they do not share such details with others. Not even among each other most of the time. Learning how to use magic is easy, at least if you have the discipline. It's the understanding of mana itself that keeps magic out of reach of most people."
"Valentine," I began gently, "I'm not going to hurt you."
Her gaze snapped up to meet mine, and I took a step back, hands spread.
"It's okay," I promised.
She swallowed and relaxed the white-knuckled grip she'd been keeping on the little pistol, though I could still smell a sweet perfume scent hanging in the air.
"It's okay," I repeated, "You said you could smell when someone was angry, right? Do I smell angry now? Did I smell angry before you started trying to dose me?"
She let out a breath, and some of the stiffness came out of her shoulders, "I'm sorry," she said in a small voice.
"I just need to know two things," I promised, "And then we can keep going. First, can you, for real, do magic? Second, can you teach what you do know?"
"Yes, and yes," she insisted, "Give me some of those coins, and I'll prove it."
I handed her one of the rolls, quarters I think, and she unwrapped the end and took out three of the coins. After a moment, two of the coins crumbled into nothingness, and she was left with the remaining coin as it danced through her fingers.
"Steel, iron really, as that's what steel is largely made of, contains Metal mana, Movement mana, and Protect mana. I used Metal mana from one coin and Movement from another to move the remaining one telekinetically."
"That's good enough for me," I assured her, "I'll pack up the rest of this, and we can be on our way."
She still seemed unconvinced, waiting awkwardly while I looted the safe, but at the very least she'd put away the pistol.
Kneeling down to get the last of the rolls at the bottom of the safe, I glanced over at her. She still seemed a little bit like a frightened doe, ready to bolt at the slightest indication of danger.
"Come on," I prodded, "Say something insulting, that always seems to make you feel better."
She gave a little start, and then a hand came up to hide her guilty smile.
"Come on, let's hear it," I teased.
She shook her head, her hand still over her mouth, and her cheeks turned a darker shade of purple.
"You've clearly come up with something, why don't you just-"
"You are so easy to please," she said in a strangled laugh, "It's not surprising that Temerity was able to get you into bed."
I chuckled and zipped up my backpack.
"I want to learn magic," I told her, standing, "I don't care what or how much. Anything is a start."
The little bell over the door rang once more, perhaps for the last time, as the tide would soon come to sweep clean the landscape, and we stepped outside.
And we both froze.
Hoofbeats, and a hell of a lot of them, could be heard pounding down the road.
"Kill the light," I hissed.
The light was out almost before I finished speaking, and I felt her grab my arm.
With just the starlight to guide me, I could just barely see, the world reduced to splotches of dark grey in minutely different shades, but it was enough. I got the two of us behind the gas station and onto the downslope of a nearby drainage ditch. With just the tops of our heads sticking up above the rise, we watched as fourteen horses came thundering around the large hedge to stop in front of the gas station. Only seven of the horses bore riders, and each carried a much larger and brighter version of the torches Valentine had brought along. One a surprisingly young male fey, one a mature looking elf woman, and five elf men. The fey was dressed in well-appointed riding clothes and bore no weapon, while the elves were armed and armoured.
Not true knights, like I'd seen fighting with Temerity, these elves looked more like scouts. Cuirassiers, perhaps, as their armour was limited to a helmet and breastplate each. The woman had a brace of pistols strapped to her breastplate, and all had a spear strapped to the saddle and a sword at their hip.
In the still night air, they were close enough that I could make out the woman's words as she ordered two of the elves into the gas station. Looking for us, evidently. Two more did a circuit of the building, though we were far enough back not to be seen.
The two who'd gone inside reported our absence, and re-mounted their horses before the whole lot went speeding off once again.
"The hell?" I asked once they were far enough that I dared to speak.
Valentine slammed her fist into the ground, "I hate this. I hate all of this. This is such utter bullshit. I hate that I'm tiny and weak. I hate that I need an amulet that cost a small fortune to be able to do what anyone else can do. I hate that I need to flee in the night like a thief, and I hate that I can't just do as I please without some gods damned servant thinking he can bring me to heel."
"Is that who that was?" I asked as I squinted after the lights speeding off into the distance.
"Seems he rounded up some sellswords and decided to come after me," she seethed, "probably looking to curry favour with one of the other houses. I don't know how he convinced them he could afford their services though."
"They've got to be tired by now," I guessed.
"Wallace, I'm not exactly concerned for their comfort."
"Not what I mean," I said gently, "Just think, for them to catch up to us when they did, they must not have stopped to rest. They would have had to make up all the time it would have taken for the kid to realize you were gone, plus the time it took to round up and convince the mercs. Not to mention all the time lost as they followed our tracks through the forest. They've got to be tired."
"Plus the time to get the horses down the ramp," Valentine added, still seething with anger, though now with a note of control, "There's special carriages, it takes ages. And they would have had to find another way round the cliff that collapsed on us. All the same, I don't fancy the odds."
Thinking back on that, I couldn't help but clench my teeth. At the time I'd been worried about the stupid pack I'd lost, but in hindsight, the worst of it was the clarity it gave to our path. Sure they would have had to find a way around, but seeing that, there would have been no doubt we'd gone that way. In truth, the asphalt road had probably saved our bacon. With pine needles leaving tracks like snow and the landslide acting as a clear marker, the hard tarmac finally cast some doubt on where we'd been and how long ago.
"We may yet be able to evade them," I pointed out, "We left late, which ordinarily would be a bit of a pain, but in this case, it's an advantage. I bet the kid's assuming you left as soon as the sun was up, so they still think we're a couple hours ahead of them. How much longer till we hit the halfway point anyways, an hour or two right? Whatever the kid promised, I can't imagine those mercs are keen to risk getting swept up by the tide. We play keep away for long enough, and they'll head back."
"For us, an hour or so, but longer for them. They're riding light and have spare horses," she explained, "Maybe twelve hours."
"Decision time then," I said grimly.
"We either keep going and try to slip past them, or head back and try to get to the first rest stop on the way to Caniforma."
Valentine was quiet for a moment, except maybe for the sound of her teeth grinding together.
"We press on," Valentine said finally, her mind made up, "Returning to one of the cities is a last resort. There's no guarantee we won't happen across another lickspittle, gagging for whatever rewards some patriarch might heap upon them. Twelve hours, then I'm free."
submitted by ThisHasNotGoneWell to HFY [link] [comments]

I'm in a dark place, and I need some advice....please read someone....

It took alot to write this and I hope someone can give some advice or just a read, is all I ask. This is my story....
I was born in California, and me and my family moved to NY when I was barely a year old. My family being my grandparents, their 3 children (my mom and 2 uncles) and myself. My dad was killed before we moved...he was only 16. I wish he was here til this very day, and maybe my life wouldnt be as fucked up as it is. But I cant blame anyone but myself for my actions.
Anyway, I was basically raised by my grandparents up until my younger teens and my grandmother played a very important role in my life. So did my grandfather. Not saying my mother or uncles didnt but my grandparents raised me basically.
I grew up in a small decent town. Always was told I was smart and hung out with the older crowd. Was a quiet kid. I dropped out in 11th grade and got my GED. Why? Dont ask me...a couple of my good friends had dropped out at the time and I think I wanted to follow them. Probably one of the first big mistakes of my life. I dont know why I dropped out, I never failed a grade or anything at that point in life, and actually was blessed to be very smart and could of basically successfully taken any route in life I put my mind to. But instead I dropped out and started running the streets thinking it was cool at the time. Drinking, throwing parties, going to the studio (writing and making music has always been a passion) and just doing reckless teenager shit.
Out of all the friends I had, I was very close to 6 of them. 6 of those friends whom I considered brothers who always had my back as I did theirs. I started smoking weed when I was 16 and drank here and there but at the time weed was my drug of choice...
Right before my 17th birthday I tried some coke, and it became a party drug for me. I would smoke weed everyday, and drink on the weekends doing coke with friends. I was always able to keep some type of income coming in, and moved out when I was about 22 after i met the love of my life who I'm with til this very day. We had got a place in town, and not long after got a car. Life was good.
At this point in time, I started to make decisions I didnt know was going to effect me til this day, 11 years later. Shortly after, me and her got our own place. I started selling coke to keep some money flowing when I wasnt working. She didnt necessarily approve of it, but the money I was bringing in was good. She also didnt know I was using coke, I always kept it from her because shes a mirror of me. I didnt want to see such a beautiful woman doing that type of shit. Especially the one I loved.
We were living in that place for about 2 years.
One night at the new place me and one of the 6 friends I basically considered a brother were playing dice in my kitchen with my other 5 friends. We'll call him T. Me and T were rolling dice, betting, having a good time......until the stakes got high, and tensions rose. We ended up having some words over a bet, and almost faught. We almost faught because I had him up so high, and he had still owed me $300 I let him borrow the previous week to give his son a good birthday and I just felt he was trying to get over on me. The air got thick, and I brought it up how I felt like he was trying to play me and we ended up arguing resulting in me throwing him out in front of our 5 other good friends. 10 minutes later I started to feel bad (idk why but I have a good heart even when ppl fuck me over) I called him because I was going to apologize and go pick him back up but he didnt answer. Oh well.
2 nights later....
I pulled up to the gas station to grab some gas, at about 1am. As I pulled up to the pump I noticed my mom also pulling in, parking into a parking space further from my car. As she got out and didnt notice I was at the pump I ran over to her as she was about to walk into the store.
"Hey what's up mom, what you doing out this late?" "Oh hey, I'm just grabbing some cigarettes for tmrw, im almost out" "Can I use your lighter" I asked...i wanted to light my blunt i had in the car. "Yeah" she says as she reaches in her pocket, looking towards her car. "Here just buy one, I think I left mine home, I have to get going" She handed me a 20 dollar bill and ran to her car and pulled off. As she was pulling away I'm thinking, what the hell? That was odd. At that point I knew something was up. But didnt know what. I shook it off.
I got gas, I left the gas station and went home. I smoked my blunt when I got home and my phone went off...it was one of my licks (someone who was a frequent buyer). She asked if i would trade her a ball for her script of Oxy 10s. At the time I knew those sold just as good, if not better, than the coke. And the script was a 90 count. I sold balls for 150 and I knew I could sell that script for 450 if not more. That wasnt even a question for me. Told her to bring em, I hooked her up and she she went on her way.
That following weekend I remember coming home, opening my drawer, going into my stash and doing one more line, after a long night of partying. I sat in the kitchen and finished a drink I poured as I tried to come down. I went to bed and tossed and turned, and after a night of coke and ciroc, the room kept spinning and I just couldn't sleep. I got up and went in my cupboard to get some tylenol PM when I seen the oxy bottle. I thought, you know what. I'm gunna pop one of these bad boys, I bet that will get me some sleep. Opened the bottle, slid one out, grabbed some water and swallowed one. I sat in my living room and turned on my ps3, and played COD until I felt the effects.
About 45 minutes into playing, I noticed not only did my comedown come WAY down, I felt good. Really good. Next thing you know its 9am and my girls waking me up on the couch. I had fell asleep with the controller in my hands.
At this point I started using the oxys to come down everytime I sniffed coke. And that was probably 3 times a week.
I got a phone call at about 3am later that week from one of the 6 friends I considered a brother. We're going to call him J. J called me and was frantic. I could hear in his voice he was scared, very scared. I asked what the hell is wrong man? What's going on???? He says, "listen me and my girl just got into a big fight. She kicked me out and now I'm walking the streets. I have no where to go and have warrants man please pick me up and let me stay over just for tonight." I told him without a doubt, went and picked him up and let him stay in my studio. (I had put about 7,000 towards a home studio which I had a room dedicated to which also had a twin bed off to the corner.)
Me and him went into the studio, talked about his problems, I tried to ease him, we smoked and I went to bed.
The next day I got up, went in the studio, and he was gone. I picked up the phone dialed his number, and he answered.
"Where did you go??" I asked.
"I had one of these guys I know picked me up to get a couple things from my house but I'm on my way back right now, he wants to know if he can buy a ball" he says.
"I dont know him bro, you know how we get down, I mean if you trust him, you can give it to him and just pay me but I dont know him" I said.
"Ok I'm on the way" he replied. 10 minutes later he shows up, I look out the window and theres like 3 ppl in the car. He got out by himself, came upstairs, I give him the ball, he gives me the money and he goes straight into the bathroom. 5 minutes go by, I knock on the bathroom door, ask if hes alright, "yeah coming out now " he replied. He dapped me up coming out of the bathroom, said hed be back, and left.... I didnt hear from him all day.
That night I picked my girl up from work at 11pm. I pulled into my driveway, we both came upstairs. "SHIT" my girl says. "I still have the keys for the med box on me, I need to go back and drop them off for the next shift, I'm not supposed to bring them home" I gave her the car keys and she bolted out the door in a rush "Be right back babe" she says. Not even 30 seconds after she walked out the door, there was a knock....
Not even thinking to check out the window to see who it was, I figured it was her to run back in and grab her cellphone she had forgotten, so I unlocked the dead bolt and opened the door. Boy was I wrong....
As I opened the door, all I could remember was staring into a set of eyes behind a ski mask as he quickly began to choke me. He choked me until I literally couldnt breathe and threw me backwards, into my glass coffee table. As I laid there in broken glass, I tried to get up as quick as I can as he went for the door to shut and lock it back up when he turned around and grabbed me. We wrestled around for a couple seconds in glass and he gained a full mount on top of me, choking me again. He was saying "dont try anything stupid or you're dead, pulled out a machete and put it to my throat. As I sat there bleeding from the glass, sweating, breathing as hard as I ever did, I stared in his as and nodded my head yes. At this point I knew I was going to die if I kept trying to fight back. So I started to comply. Remind you, I'm in sweats, my gun is under my couch cushion, and all I'm thinking is "just work with him, get him calm, and go for the gun". As I shook my head to imply I'm surrendering, he says, "I just want the coke. Give me the coke and I wont kill you" "where is it" he says, as hes looking towards the kitchen as if he knew it was somewhere in there. He put the machete back to my throat and says "sit Indian style with your hands behind your back" at this point I knew he was going to kill me, and the way he looked in the kitchen where the coke was, I thought this was someone that already knew where it was. I didnt recognize his voice, so I'm thinking someone tipped him off and this was a set up.
As soon as he ordered me to sit Indian style with my hands behind my back, I got up as quick as I could and went for my gun.
We started wrestling again.
He was much stronger than I was, and after a couple blows as he gained control, he was back in the dominant position. He told me to get on my stomach as he took his machete and put it to the back of my head as he started flipping my couch cushion. He found the gun, grabbed it, and started laughing. He cocks it back, made sure one was in the chamber, and goes "if you try some silly shit like that again I'll blow your head off. Now stay still"
As I laid there on my stomach, he started opening closets. The second one he opened was in the hallway where I kept my towels and other miscellaneous crap. He grabbed a towel, and some clear masking tape I had in there, used his machete to cut the towel in half vertically, tied my hands behind my back, along with with my feet, all together, in a hog tie sort of style and dragged me to the kitchen. At this point I thought I was done. In my head I'm saying my prayers and started to tear up. This was my last night of my life I'm thinking. He found the coke, did a giant line in front of me, and put the rest in his pocket. About $800 worth I had left that he took. He then proceeded to drag me into my bedroom and started going through the closet and all my drawers. I just sat there, tied up in silence. He found a few more hundred dollars I had in the drawer along with mine and my girls ID. He knelt down and shoved my girls ID in my face.
"Do you wanna see her ever again?" He yells.
I yelled, "please, just go man, you got what you came here for"
He replies, "if she shows up right now, you know I have no choice but to kill the both of you right?"
"Just go man, please" I uttered. Knowing her job was only 5 minutes away, and about 15 minutes had passed, I knew she was bound to show up at any second.
"PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU TO JUST LEAVE DUDE" I implied, still hogtied, bloody, and shaking.
"I want you to count to 60, and do not get up until you count to 60. I wanna hear you count out loud. If you try any funny shit you're dead."
"Ok, ok" I replied.
He ran out the room as I started to count. As I got to 20, I started to get up and tried to untied myself as I was still counting when he ran back into the room suddenly and boom.....
I woke up to my girlfriend on top of me sobbing, screaming, "WAKE UP PLEASE!!!!" Slapping me.
I'm disoriented. Everything's a blur. As I started to come to, my girlfriend was balling her eyes out. She started hugging me, asking me frantically what had happened. I noticed my left eye was swollen shut. My glasses were gone. And I had a lump on my temple the size of a golf ball.
He hit me, I thought to myself.
He must have hit me with something other than his fist with the damage I had to the side of my face.
"Thank you" I kept repeating to my girlfriend. "Thank you baby". She looked at me confused as hell and says, "for what?!? What the hell happened ?!?"
"Thank you for not coming home when that happened. I just got set up and if you would of walked in that door, we both would of had a bullet with our name on it with my own gun." I said.
I explained to her what had happened and we both decided to leave that night. Not knowing who, how or what necessarily just happened I was confused. I needed to get away and think straight.
Who did this to me? Who set me up? Why would this happen, I try to show everyone extra love with all my power who the hell would do this to me?
I had a couple things in mind, a couple people on my radar as you might have had as well reading this, but I didnt know for certain. I had to do some digging.
That night we packed and left to stay with my uncle until we could find another place.
I got a phone call not long after this had happened and it wasnt good. My grandmother....she was sick. My mom had called me and told me we were all going to her drs appointment the next day because shes getting tested and stuff for cancer.
Oh my god. Cancer. I immediately started praying in tears.
The next day the family went to the hospital with her. Impatiently waiting in that room beside her bed with my mother and grandfather, as the doctor came back in. The look on his face told it all. I let out a yell from deep inside of me.
"NO, PLEASE TELL ME NO" I yelled.
"I'm sorry" the doctor says. "The mass in your lungs, is cancer'
My grandfather let out a scream I've never heard before. "Jesus christ, please tell me different " he says My mother started crying her eyes out. I couldnt believe it. I look over at my grandmother and she was staring at the ceiling. Calm. Her eyes started to water as she looked over at us, and says "it's okay, please stop crying, its ok" Growing up, my grandmother has always been the strongest person I knew. And she was the calmest one in the room at that very moment.
As time went on, I moved into my grandparents and vouched to take care of her, as her health deteriorated over time, and eventually got put on hospice.
I will never forget the day she went. She was very sick that day. Kept going in and out of it, and wasnt acting normal at all. I called my mother and told her. My mother rushed over along with my uncles and sisters, and as soon as everyone sat in the living room with my grandmother in her recliner, she put her head down and passed. It's as if she was waiting for everyone to get there to go. As she put her head down the room filled with this unexplainable air. Everyone started crying, as I walked over to her, kissed her on the forehead and told her I loved her and grabbed her hand and couldnt let go as my eyes are pouring tears.
I will always remember the night before she passed. I kept a baby monitor in my room and one in hers, everytime I heard her at night struggling or anything out of the ordinary I would rush to her room and make sure she was ok. The night before she passed, I'm laying in bed and I heard her over the monitor trying her all to say something. I rushed into her room and asked if everything was okay. She looked at me and struggled to get enough air in her lungs to say, "i.....love....you...very....much.....thank....you....baby" I grabbed her hand and tried not to cry and told her, "dont thank me grandma, that's what I'm here for. To make sure you're okay" she smiled and gripped my hand tight. I kissed her on the forehead and told her I loved her. Not knowing she was going to pass that next day.
This is starting to get very hard for me to write so I'm going to wrap it up.
Basically the night I seen my mom at the gas station and she was acting weird...well I found out she was with T. Yeah, the T I called my brother growing up. I think he felt some type of way the night we fought in front of our friends, or maybe he felt embarrassed. Embarrassed to the point where he wanted revenge. They got together and are still together til this day. I beat myself up time and time again, always remembering that night we were rolling dice betting, and always say to myself, damn it, why cant you ever be more humble with people. Especially your friends, it didnt have to go down like that and you didnt have to kick him out and embarrass him in front of everyone. It's something I beat myself up about everyday. The way I get with people when I feel betrayed.
Today I have major trust issues and always have my guard up. I tend to not let anyone in anymore.
Oh....and The guy who ran up in my house....I got set up by J. My other boy I called "brother". I guess the day I called him after he left when he said he had a lick, that's who it was for. It was for the guy that took my pride and robbed me in my own house. The guy that ran up in my house and tied me up.
Remember when I said J went into the bathroom after i gave him the coke that day? Well he went in there to cut it. He cut the ball so bad, it was basically all fake when he went and served the guy up, and the guy pressed J about it, and J told him everything; Where my coke was, what my girls work schedule was like, etc., so this guy can plot on me and come at the right time when I was alone. He was outside the whole time waiting for me to get back home that night and when my girl left, that was his opportunity.
I'm trying to go into as much detail as I can but this is not only a struggle to write about, but is getting long and I want this to be read. I need help.
I basically turned to what i knew at the time made me feel best, and those were the oxys. I really started abusing them until it came to the point where I either couldn't find them anymore or they were too expensive and at this point I'm withdrawaling. At which point I started sniffing heroin, and now i have a powder fentanyl habit that's high as the sky. Each and every time I get high, thinking and grieving. Wishing I could turn back time.
I can say a few things tho. Thank god I'm terrified, literally terrified of needles or i probably would have shot up a long time ago. And I thank god I'm still alive. Out of the past few years of me sniffing fentanyl, I overdosed 1 time, and if it wasnt for my girl hearing me fall on the kitchen floor at midnight waking her, I would of died on that floor that night. They had to bring me back to life that night.
I've pushed the little family I have away over this bullshit, and my life is in shambles. I've considered suicide a few times in my life throughout this hell journey but never had the balls to do it and always remind myself I'm better than this.
Today I'm currently laying down in my room in rehab. I'm 20 days clean, for the first time since I started popping oxys 5years ago. But it's hard. Very hard. I dont know what to do when I get out and I'm scared. Any words of motivation or advice would be appreciated. I know this was a long one and it was very hard to write and this probably wont get read because its so long, and probably isn't even 35% of what I've gone through in my life, but I just want to open up about this. Something I've never done as a quiet humble person. I'd need to write a book if I wrote about everything. Things that movies are made from. I'm still alive and I know it's for a reason.
If you got this far, thank you for taking the time to at least read about some of my journey and any words of advice, courage, or wisdom will be much appreciated. I lost everyone, and the only one helping me til this day is my girl and my mom. Everyone else that truly cared I pushed away during this time.
I'm lost and just want my life back. I know I'm better than this but I'm losing hope by the day.
submitted by itsadub to SuicideWatch [link] [comments]

I'm in a dark place and need advice. Please

It took alot to write this and I hope someone can give some advice or just a read, is all I ask. This is my story....
I was born in California, and me and my family moved to NY when I was barely a year old. My family being my grandparents, their 3 children (my mom and 2 uncles) and myself. My dad was killed before we moved...he was only 16. I wish he was here til this very day, and maybe my life wouldnt be as fucked up as it is. But I cant blame anyone but myself for my actions.
Anyway, I was basically raised by my grandparents up until my younger teens and my grandmother played a very important role in my life. So did my grandfather. Not saying my mother or uncles didnt but my grandparents raised me basically.
I grew up in a small decent town. Always was told I was smart and hung out with the older crowd. Was a quiet kid. I dropped out in 11th grade and got my GED. Why? Dont ask me...a couple of my good friends had dropped out at the time and I think I wanted to follow them. Probably one of the first big mistakes of my life. I dont know why I dropped out, I never failed a grade or anything at that point in life, and actually was blessed to be very smart and could of basically successfully taken any route in life I put my mind to. But instead I dropped out and started running the streets thinking it was cool at the time. Drinking, throwing parties, going to the studio (writing and making music has always been a passion) and just doing reckless teenager shit.
Out of all the friends I had, I was very close to 6 of them. 6 of those friends whom I considered brothers who always had my back as I did theirs. I started smoking weed when I was 16 and drank here and there but at the time weed was my drug of choice...
Right before my 17th birthday I tried some coke, and it became a party drug for me. I would smoke weed everyday, and drink on the weekends doing coke with friends. I was always able to keep some type of income coming in, and moved out when I was about 22 after i met the love of my life who I'm with til this very day. We had got a place in town, and not long after got a car. Life was good.
At this point in time, I started to make decisions I didnt know was going to effect me til this day, 11 years later. Shortly after, me and her got our own place. I started selling coke to keep some money flowing when I wasnt working. She didnt necessarily approve of it, but the money I was bringing in was good. She also didnt know I was using coke, I always kept it from her because shes a mirror of me. I didnt want to see such a beautiful woman doing that type of shit. Especially the one I loved.
We were living in that place for about 2 years.
One night at the new place me and one of the 6 friends I basically considered a brother were playing dice in my kitchen with my other 5 friends. We'll call him T. Me and T were rolling dice, betting, having a good time......until the stakes got high, and tensions rose. We ended up having some words over a bet, and almost faught. We almost faught because I had him up so high, and he had still owed me $300 I let him borrow the previous week to give his son a good birthday and I just felt he was trying to get over on me. The air got thick, and I brought it up how I felt like he was trying to play me and we ended up arguing resulting in me throwing him out in front of our 5 other good friends. 10 minutes later I started to feel bad (idk why but I have a good heart even when ppl fuck me over) I called him because I was going to apologize and go pick him back up but he didnt answer. Oh well.
2 nights later....
I pulled up to the gas station to grab some gas, at about 1am. As I pulled up to the pump I noticed my mom also pulling in, parking into a parking space further from my car. As she got out and didnt notice I was at the pump I ran over to her as she was about to walk into the store.
"Hey what's up mom, what you doing out this late?" "Oh hey, I'm just grabbing some cigarettes for tmrw, im almost out" "Can I use your lighter" I asked...i wanted to light my blunt i had in the car. "Yeah" she says as she reaches in her pocket, looking towards her car. "Here just buy one, I think I left mine home, I have to get going" She handed me a 20 dollar bill and ran to her car and pulled off. As she was pulling away I'm thinking, what the hell? That was odd. At that point I knew something was up. But didnt know what. I shook it off.
I got gas, I left the gas station and went home. I smoked my blunt when I got home and my phone went off...it was one of my licks (someone who was a frequent buyer). She asked if i would trade her a ball for her script of Oxy 10s. At the time I knew those sold just as good, if not better, than the coke. And the script was a 90 count. I sold balls for 150 and I knew I could sell that script for 450 if not more. That wasnt even a question for me. Told her to bring em, I hooked her up and she she went on her way.
That following weekend I remember coming home, opening my drawer, going into my stash and doing one more line, after a long night of partying. I sat in the kitchen and finished a drink I poured as I tried to come down. I went to bed and tossed and turned, and after a night of coke and ciroc, the room kept spinning and I just couldn't sleep. I got up and went in my cupboard to get some tylenol PM when I seen the oxy bottle. I thought, you know what. I'm gunna pop one of these bad boys, I bet that will get me some sleep. Opened the bottle, slid one out, grabbed some water and swallowed one. I sat in my living room and turned on my ps3, and played COD until I felt the effects.
About 45 minutes into playing, I noticed not only did my comedown come WAY down, I felt good. Really good. Next thing you know its 9am and my girls waking me up on the couch. I had fell asleep with the controller in my hands.
At this point I started using the oxys to come down everytime I sniffed coke. And that was probably 3 times a week.
I got a phone call at about 3am later that week from one of the 6 friends I considered a brother. We're going to call him J. J called me and was frantic. I could hear in his voice he was scared, very scared. I asked what the hell is wrong man? What's going on???? He says, "listen me and my girl just got into a big fight. She kicked me out and now I'm walking the streets. I have no where to go and have warrants man please pick me up and let me stay over just for tonight." I told him without a doubt, went and picked him up and let him stay in my studio. (I had put about 7,000 towards a home studio which I had a room dedicated to which also had a twin bed off to the corner.)
Me and him went into the studio, talked about his problems, I tried to ease him, we smoked and I went to bed.
The next day I got up, went in the studio, and he was gone. I picked up the phone dialed his number, and he answered.
"Where did you go??" I asked.
"I had one of these guys I know picked me up to get a couple things from my house but I'm on my way back right now, he wants to know if he can buy a ball" he says.
"I dont know him bro, you know how we get down, I mean if you trust him, you can give it to him and just pay me but I dont know him" I said.
"Ok I'm on the way" he replied. 10 minutes later he shows up, I look out the window and theres like 3 ppl in the car. He got out by himself, came upstairs, I give him the ball, he gives me the money and he goes straight into the bathroom. 5 minutes go by, I knock on the bathroom door, ask if hes alright, "yeah coming out now " he replied. He dapped me up coming out of the bathroom, said hed be back, and left.... I didnt hear from him all day.
That night I picked my girl up from work at 11pm. I pulled into my driveway, we both came upstairs. "SHIT" my girl says. "I still have the keys for the med box on me, I need to go back and drop them off for the next shift, I'm not supposed to bring them home" I gave her the car keys and she bolted out the door in a rush "Be right back babe" she says. Not even 30 seconds after she walked out the door, there was a knock....
Not even thinking to check out the window to see who it was, I figured it was her to run back in and grab her cellphone she had forgotten, so I unlocked the dead bolt and opened the door. Boy was I wrong....
As I opened the door, all I could remember was staring into a set of eyes behind a ski mask as he quickly began to choke me. He choked me until I literally couldnt breathe and threw me backwards, into my glass coffee table. As I laid there in broken glass, I tried to get up as quick as I can as he went for the door to shut and lock it back up when he turned around and grabbed me. We wrestled around for a couple seconds in glass and he gained a full mount on top of me, choking me again. He was saying "dont try anything stupid or you're dead, pulled out a machete and put it to my throat. As I sat there bleeding from the glass, sweating, breathing as hard as I ever did, I stared in his as and nodded my head yes. At this point I knew I was going to die if I kept trying to fight back. So I started to comply. Remind you, I'm in sweats, my gun is under my couch cushion, and all I'm thinking is "just work with him, get him calm, and go for the gun". As I shook my head to imply I'm surrendering, he says, "I just want the coke. Give me the coke and I wont kill you" "where is it" he says, as hes looking towards the kitchen as if he knew it was somewhere in there. He put the machete back to my throat and says "sit Indian style with your hands behind your back" at this point I knew he was going to kill me, and the way he looked in the kitchen where the coke was, I thought this was someone that already knew where it was. I didnt recognize his voice, so I'm thinking someone tipped him off and this was a set up.
As soon as he ordered me to sit Indian style with my hands behind my back, I got up as quick as I could and went for my gun.
We started wrestling again.
He was much stronger than I was, and after a couple blows as he gained control, he was back in the dominant position. He told me to get on my stomach as he took his machete and put it to the back of my head as he started flipping my couch cushion. He found the gun, grabbed it, and started laughing. He cocks it back, made sure one was in the chamber, and goes "if you try some silly shit like that again I'll blow your head off. Now stay still"
As I laid there on my stomach, he started opening closets. The second one he opened was in the hallway where I kept my towels and other miscellaneous crap. He grabbed a towel, and some clear masking tape I had in there, used his machete to cut the towel in half vertically, tied my hands behind my back, along with with my feet, all together, in a hog tie sort of style and dragged me to the kitchen. At this point I thought I was done. In my head I'm saying my prayers and started to tear up. This was my last night of my life I'm thinking. He found the coke, did a giant line in front of me, and put the rest in his pocket. About $800 worth I had left that he took. He then proceeded to drag me into my bedroom and started going through the closet and all my drawers. I just sat there, tied up in silence. He found a few more hundred dollars I had in the drawer along with mine and my girls ID. He knelt down and shoved my girls ID in my face.
"Do you wanna see her ever again?" He yells.
I yelled, "please, just go man, you got what you came here for"
He replies, "if she shows up right now, you know I have no choice but to kill the both of you right?"
"Just go man, please" I uttered. Knowing her job was only 5 minutes away, and about 15 minutes had passed, I knew she was bound to show up at any second.
"PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU TO JUST LEAVE DUDE" I implied, still hogtied, bloody, and shaking.
"I want you to count to 60, and do not get up until you count to 60. I wanna hear you count out loud. If you try any funny shit you're dead."
"Ok, ok" I replied.
He ran out the room as I started to count. As I got to 20, I started to get up and tried to untied myself as I was still counting when he ran back into the room suddenly and boom.....
I woke up to my girlfriend on top of me sobbing, screaming, "WAKE UP PLEASE!!!!" Slapping me.
I'm disoriented. Everything's a blur. As I started to come to, my girlfriend was balling her eyes out. She started hugging me, asking me frantically what had happened. I noticed my left eye was swollen shut. My glasses were gone. And I had a lump on my temple the size of a golf ball.
He hit me, I thought to myself.
He must have hit me with something other than his fist with the damage I had to the side of my face.
"Thank you" I kept repeating to my girlfriend. "Thank you baby". She looked at me confused as hell and says, "for what?!? What the hell happened ?!?"
"Thank you for not coming home when that happened. I just got set up and if you would of walked in that door, we both would of had a bullet with our name on it with my own gun." I said.
I explained to her what had happened and we both decided to leave that night. Not knowing who, how or what necessarily just happened I was confused. I needed to get away and think straight.
Who did this to me? Who set me up? Why would this happen, I try to show everyone extra love with all my power who the hell would do this to me?
I had a couple things in mind, a couple people on my radar as you might have had as well reading this, but I didnt know for certain. I had to do some digging.
That night we packed and left to stay with my uncle until we could find another place.
I got a phone call not long after this had happened and it wasnt good. My grandmother....she was sick. My mom had called me and told me we were all going to her drs appointment the next day because shes getting tested and stuff for cancer.
Oh my god. Cancer. I immediately started praying in tears.
The next day the family went to the hospital with her. Impatiently waiting in that room beside her bed with my mother and grandfather, as the doctor came back in. The look on his face told it all. I let out a yell from deep inside of me.
"NO, PLEASE TELL ME NO" I yelled.
"I'm sorry" the doctor says. "The mass in your lungs, is cancer'
My grandfather let out a scream I've never heard before. "Jesus christ, please tell me different " he says My mother started crying her eyes out. I couldnt believe it. I look over at my grandmother and she was staring at the ceiling. Calm. Her eyes started to water as she looked over at us, and says "it's okay, please stop crying, its ok" Growing up, my grandmother has always been the strongest person I knew. And she was the calmest one in the room at that very moment.
As time went on, I moved into my grandparents and vouched to take care of her, as her health deteriorated over time, and eventually got put on hospice.
I will never forget the day she went. She was very sick that day. Kept going in and out of it, and wasnt acting normal at all. I called my mother and told her. My mother rushed over along with my uncles and sisters, and as soon as everyone sat in the living room with my grandmother in her recliner, she put her head down and passed. It's as if she was waiting for everyone to get there to go. As she put her head down the room filled with this unexplainable air. Everyone started crying, as I walked over to her, kissed her on the forehead and told her I loved her and grabbed her hand and couldnt let go as my eyes are pouring tears.
I will always remember the night before she passed. I kept a baby monitor in my room and one in hers, everytime I heard her at night struggling or anything out of the ordinary I would rush to her room and make sure she was ok. The night before she passed, I'm laying in bed and I heard her over the monitor trying her all to say something. I rushed into her room and asked if everything was okay. She looked at me and struggled to get enough air in her lungs to say, "i.....love....you...very....much.....thank....you....baby" I grabbed her hand and tried not to cry and told her, "dont thank me grandma, that's what I'm here for. To make sure you're okay" she smiled and gripped my hand tight. I kissed her on the forehead and told her I loved her. Not knowing she was going to pass that next day.
This is starting to get very hard for me to write so I'm going to wrap it up.
Basically the night I seen my mom at the gas station and she was acting weird...well I found out she was with T. Yeah, the T I called my brother growing up. I think he felt some type of way the night we fought in front of our friends, or maybe he felt embarrassed. Embarrassed to the point where he wanted revenge. They got together and are still together til this day. I beat myself up time and time again, always remembering that night we were rolling dice betting, and always say to myself, damn it, why cant you ever be more humble with people. Especially your friends, it didnt have to go down like that and you didnt have to kick him out and embarrass him in front of everyone. It's something I beat myself up about everyday. The way I get with people when I feel betrayed.
Today I have major trust issues and always have my guard up. I tend to not let anyone in anymore.
Oh....and The guy who ran up in my house....I got set up by J. My other boy I called "brother". I guess the day I called him after he left when he said he had a lick, that's who it was for. It was for the guy that took my pride and robbed me in my own house. The guy that ran up in my house and tied me up.
Remember when I said J went into the bathroom after i gave him the coke that day? Well he went in there to cut it. He cut the ball so bad, it was basically all fake when he went and served the guy up, and the guy pressed J about it, and J told him everything; Where my coke was, what my girls work schedule was like, etc., so this guy can plot on me and come at the right time when I was alone. He was outside the whole time waiting for me to get back home that night and when my girl left, that was his opportunity.
I'm trying to go into as much detail as I can but this is not only a struggle to write about, but is getting long and I want this to be read. I need help.
I basically turned to what i knew at the time made me feel best, and those were the oxys. I really started abusing them until it came to the point where I either couldn't find them anymore or they were too expensive and at this point I'm withdrawaling. At which point I started sniffing heroin, and now i have a powder fentanyl habit that's high as the sky. Each and every time I get high, thinking and grieving. Wishing I could turn back time.
I can say a few things tho. Thank god I'm terrified, literally terrified of needles or i probably would have shot up a long time ago. And I thank god I'm still alive. Out of the past few years of me sniffing fentanyl, I overdosed 1 time, and if it wasnt for my girl hearing me fall on the kitchen floor at midnight waking her, I would of died on that floor that night. They had to bring me back to life that night.
I've pushed the little family I have away over this bullshit, and my life is in shambles. I've considered suicide a few times in my life throughout this hell journey but never had the balls to do it and always remind myself I'm better than this.
Today I'm currently laying down in my room in rehab. I'm 20 days clean, for the first time since I started popping oxys 5years ago. But it's hard. Very hard. I dont know what to do when I get out and I'm scared. Any words of motivation or advice would be appreciated. I know this was a long one and it was very hard to write and this probably wont get read because its so long, and probably isn't even 35% of what I've gone through in my life, but I just want to open up about this. Something I've never done as a quiet humble person. I'd need to write a book if I wrote about everything. Things that movies are made from. I'm still alive and I know it's for a reason.
If you got this far, thank you for taking the time to at least read about some of my journey and any words of advice, courage, or wisdom will be much appreciated. I lost everyone, and the only one helping me til this day is my girl and my mom. Everyone else that truly cared I pushed away during this time.
I'm lost and just want my life back. I know I'm better than this but I'm losing hope by the day.
submitted by itsadub to OpiatesRecovery [link] [comments]

Ik in a really dark place. And confused....I need advice. I dont open up like this in real life. Is this even real?

It took alot to write this and I hope someone can give some advice or just a read, is all I ask. This is my story....
I was born in California, and me and my family moved to NY when I was barely a year old. My family being my grandparents, their 3 children (my mom and 2 uncles) and myself. My dad was killed before we moved...he was only 16. I wish he was here til this very day, and maybe my life wouldnt be as fucked up as it is. But I cant blame anyone but myself for my actions.
Anyway, I was basically raised by my grandparents up until my younger teens and my grandmother played a very important role in my life. So did my grandfather. Not saying my mother or uncles didnt but my grandparents raised me basically.
I grew up in a small decent town. Always was told I was smart and hung out with the older crowd. Was a quiet kid. I dropped out in 11th grade and got my GED. Why? Dont ask me...a couple of my good friends had dropped out at the time and I think I wanted to follow them. Probably one of the first big mistakes of my life. I dont know why I dropped out, I never failed a grade or anything at that point in life, and actually was blessed to be very smart and could of basically successfully taken any route in life I put my mind to. But instead I dropped out and started running the streets thinking it was cool at the time. Drinking, throwing parties, going to the studio (writing and making music has always been a passion) and just doing reckless teenager shit.
Out of all the friends I had, I was very close to 6 of them. 6 of those friends whom I considered brothers who always had my back as I did theirs. I started smoking weed when I was 16 and drank here and there but at the time weed was my drug of choice...
Right before my 17th birthday I tried some coke, and it became a party drug for me. I would smoke weed everyday, and drink on the weekends doing coke with friends. I was always able to keep some type of income coming in, and moved out when I was about 22 after i met the love of my life who I'm with til this very day. We had got a place in town, and not long after got a car. Life was good.
At this point in time, I started to make decisions I didnt know was going to effect me til this day, 11 years later. Shortly after, me and her got our own place. I started selling coke to keep some money flowing when I wasnt working. She didnt necessarily approve of it, but the money I was bringing in was good. She also didnt know I was using coke, I always kept it from her because shes a mirror of me. I didnt want to see such a beautiful woman doing that type of shit. Especially the one I loved.
We were living in that place for about 2 years.
One night at the new place me and one of the 6 friends I basically considered a brother were playing dice in my kitchen with my other 5 friends. We'll call him T. Me and T were rolling dice, betting, having a good time......until the stakes got high, and tensions rose. We ended up having some words over a bet, and almost faught. We almost faught because I had him up so high, and he had still owed me $300 I let him borrow the previous week to give his son a good birthday and I just felt he was trying to get over on me. The air got thick, and I brought it up how I felt like he was trying to play me and we ended up arguing resulting in me throwing him out in front of our 5 other good friends. 10 minutes later I started to feel bad (idk why but I have a good heart even when ppl fuck me over) I called him because I was going to apologize and go pick him back up but he didnt answer. Oh well.
2 nights later....
I pulled up to the gas station to grab some gas, at about 1am. As I pulled up to the pump I noticed my mom also pulling in, parking into a parking space further from my car. As she got out and didnt notice I was at the pump I ran over to her as she was about to walk into the store.
"Hey what's up mom, what you doing out this late?" "Oh hey, I'm just grabbing some cigarettes for tmrw, im almost out" "Can I use your lighter" I asked...i wanted to light my blunt i had in the car. "Yeah" she says as she reaches in her pocket, looking towards her car. "Here just buy one, I think I left mine home, I have to get going" She handed me a 20 dollar bill and ran to her car and pulled off. As she was pulling away I'm thinking, what the hell? That was odd. At that point I knew something was up. But didnt know what. I shook it off.
I got gas, I left the gas station and went home. I smoked my blunt when I got home and my phone went off...it was one of my licks (someone who was a frequent buyer). She asked if i would trade her a ball for her script of Oxy 10s. At the time I knew those sold just as good, if not better, than the coke. And the script was a 90 count. I sold balls for 150 and I knew I could sell that script for 450 if not more. That wasnt even a question for me. Told her to bring em, I hooked her up and she she went on her way.
That following weekend I remember coming home, opening my drawer, going into my stash and doing one more line, after a long night of partying. I sat in the kitchen and finished a drink I poured as I tried to come down. I went to bed and tossed and turned, and after a night of coke and ciroc, the room kept spinning and I just couldn't sleep. I got up and went in my cupboard to get some tylenol PM when I seen the oxy bottle. I thought, you know what. I'm gunna pop one of these bad boys, I bet that will get me some sleep. Opened the bottle, slid one out, grabbed some water and swallowed one. I sat in my living room and turned on my ps3, and played COD until I felt the effects.
About 45 minutes into playing, I noticed not only did my comedown come WAY down, I felt good. Really good. Next thing you know its 9am and my girls waking me up on the couch. I had fell asleep with the controller in my hands.
At this point I started using the oxys to come down everytime I sniffed coke. And that was probably 3 times a week.
I got a phone call at about 3am later that week from one of the 6 friends I considered a brother. We're going to call him J. J called me and was frantic. I could hear in his voice he was scared, very scared. I asked what the hell is wrong man? What's going on???? He says, "listen me and my girl just got into a big fight. She kicked me out and now I'm walking the streets. I have no where to go and have warrants man please pick me up and let me stay over just for tonight." I told him without a doubt, went and picked him up and let him stay in my studio. (I had put about 7,000 towards a home studio which I had a room dedicated to which also had a twin bed off to the corner.)
Me and him went into the studio, talked about his problems, I tried to ease him, we smoked and I went to bed.
The next day I got up, went in the studio, and he was gone. I picked up the phone dialed his number, and he answered.
"Where did you go??" I asked.
"I had one of these guys I know picked me up to get a couple things from my house but I'm on my way back right now, he wants to know if he can buy a ball" he says.
"I dont know him bro, you know how we get down, I mean if you trust him, you can give it to him and just pay me but I dont know him" I said.
"Ok I'm on the way" he replied. 10 minutes later he shows up, I look out the window and theres like 3 ppl in the car. He got out by himself, came upstairs, I give him the ball, he gives me the money and he goes straight into the bathroom. 5 minutes go by, I knock on the bathroom door, ask if hes alright, "yeah coming out now " he replied. He dapped me up coming out of the bathroom, said hed be back, and left.... I didnt hear from him all day.
That night I picked my girl up from work at 11pm. I pulled into my driveway, we both came upstairs. "SHIT" my girl says. "I still have the keys for the med box on me, I need to go back and drop them off for the next shift, I'm not supposed to bring them home" I gave her the car keys and she bolted out the door in a rush "Be right back babe" she says. Not even 30 seconds after she walked out the door, there was a knock....
Not even thinking to check out the window to see who it was, I figured it was her to run back in and grab her cellphone she had forgotten, so I unlocked the dead bolt and opened the door. Boy was I wrong....
As I opened the door, all I could remember was staring into a set of eyes behind a ski mask as he quickly began to choke me. He choked me until I literally couldnt breathe and threw me backwards, into my glass coffee table. As I laid there in broken glass, I tried to get up as quick as I can as he went for the door to shut and lock it back up when he turned around and grabbed me. We wrestled around for a couple seconds in glass and he gained a full mount on top of me, choking me again. He was saying "dont try anything stupid or you're dead, pulled out a machete and put it to my throat. As I sat there bleeding from the glass, sweating, breathing as hard as I ever did, I stared in his as and nodded my head yes. At this point I knew I was going to die if I kept trying to fight back. So I started to comply. Remind you, I'm in sweats, my gun is under my couch cushion, and all I'm thinking is "just work with him, get him calm, and go for the gun". As I shook my head to imply I'm surrendering, he says, "I just want the coke. Give me the coke and I wont kill you" "where is it" he says, as hes looking towards the kitchen as if he knew it was somewhere in there. He put the machete back to my throat and says "sit Indian style with your hands behind your back" at this point I knew he was going to kill me, and the way he looked in the kitchen where the coke was, I thought this was someone that already knew where it was. I didnt recognize his voice, so I'm thinking someone tipped him off and this was a set up.
As soon as he ordered me to sit Indian style with my hands behind my back, I got up as quick as I could and went for my gun.
We started wrestling again.
He was much stronger than I was, and after a couple blows as he gained control, he was back in the dominant position. He told me to get on my stomach as he took his machete and put it to the back of my head as he started flipping my couch cushion. He found the gun, grabbed it, and started laughing. He cocks it back, made sure one was in the chamber, and goes "if you try some silly shit like that again I'll blow your head off. Now stay still"
As I laid there on my stomach, he started opening closets. The second one he opened was in the hallway where I kept my towels and other miscellaneous crap. He grabbed a towel, and some clear masking tape I had in there, used his machete to cut the towel in half vertically, tied my hands behind my back, along with with my feet, all together, in a hog tie sort of style and dragged me to the kitchen. At this point I thought I was done. In my head I'm saying my prayers and started to tear up. This was my last night of my life I'm thinking. He found the coke, did a giant line in front of me, and put the rest in his pocket. About $800 worth I had left that he took. He then proceeded to drag me into my bedroom and started going through the closet and all my drawers. I just sat there, tied up in silence. He found a few more hundred dollars I had in the drawer along with mine and my girls ID. He knelt down and shoved my girls ID in my face.
"Do you wanna see her ever again?" He yells.
I yelled, "please, just go man, you got what you came here for"
He replies, "if she shows up right now, you know I have no choice but to kill the both of you right?"
"Just go man, please" I uttered. Knowing her job was only 5 minutes away, and about 15 minutes had passed, I knew she was bound to show up at any second.
"PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU TO JUST LEAVE DUDE" I implied, still hogtied, bloody, and shaking.
"I want you to count to 60, and do not get up until you count to 60. I wanna hear you count out loud. If you try any funny shit you're dead."
"Ok, ok" I replied.
He ran out the room as I started to count. As I got to 20, I started to get up and tried to untied myself as I was still counting when he ran back into the room suddenly and boom.....
I woke up to my girlfriend on top of me sobbing, screaming, "WAKE UP PLEASE!!!!" Slapping me.
I'm disoriented. Everything's a blur. As I started to come to, my girlfriend was balling her eyes out. She started hugging me, asking me frantically what had happened. I noticed my left eye was swollen shut. My glasses were gone. And I had a lump on my temple the size of a golf ball.
He hit me, I thought to myself.
He must have hit me with something other than his fist with the damage I had to the side of my face.
"Thank you" I kept repeating to my girlfriend. "Thank you baby". She looked at me confused as hell and says, "for what?!? What the hell happened ?!?"
"Thank you for not coming home when that happened. I just got set up and if you would of walked in that door, we both would of had a bullet with our name on it with my own gun." I said.
I explained to her what had happened and we both decided to leave that night. Not knowing who, how or what necessarily just happened I was confused. I needed to get away and think straight.
Who did this to me? Who set me up? Why would this happen, I try to show everyone extra love with all my power who the hell would do this to me?
I had a couple things in mind, a couple people on my radar as you might have had as well reading this, but I didnt know for certain. I had to do some digging.
That night we packed and left to stay with my uncle until we could find another place.
I got a phone call not long after this had happened and it wasnt good. My grandmother....she was sick. My mom had called me and told me we were all going to her drs appointment the next day because shes getting tested and stuff for cancer.
Oh my god. Cancer. I immediately started praying in tears.
The next day the family went to the hospital with her. Impatiently waiting in that room beside her bed with my mother and grandfather, as the doctor came back in. The look on his face told it all. I let out a yell from deep inside of me.
"NO, PLEASE TELL ME NO" I yelled.
"I'm sorry" the doctor says. "The mass in your lungs, is cancer'
My grandfather let out a scream I've never heard before. "Jesus christ, please tell me different " he says My mother started crying her eyes out. I couldnt believe it. I look over at my grandmother and she was staring at the ceiling. Calm. Her eyes started to water as she looked over at us, and says "it's okay, please stop crying, its ok" Growing up, my grandmother has always been the strongest person I knew. And she was the calmest one in the room at that very moment.
As time went on, I moved into my grandparents and vouched to take care of her, as her health deteriorated over time, and eventually got put on hospice.
I will never forget the day she went. She was very sick that day. Kept going in and out of it, and wasnt acting normal at all. I called my mother and told her. My mother rushed over along with my uncles and sisters, and as soon as everyone sat in the living room with my grandmother in her recliner, she put her head down and passed. It's as if she was waiting for everyone to get there to go. As she put her head down the room filled with this unexplainable air. Everyone started crying, as I walked over to her, kissed her on the forehead and told her I loved her and grabbed her hand and couldnt let go as my eyes are pouring tears.
I will always remember the night before she passed. I kept a baby monitor in my room and one in hers, everytime I heard her at night struggling or anything out of the ordinary I would rush to her room and make sure she was ok. The night before she passed, I'm laying in bed and I heard her over the monitor trying her all to say something. I rushed into her room and asked if everything was okay. She looked at me and struggled to get enough air in her lungs to say, "i.....love....you...very....much.....thank....you....baby" I grabbed her hand and tried not to cry and told her, "dont thank me grandma, that's what I'm here for. To make sure you're okay" she smiled and gripped my hand tight. I kissed her on the forehead and told her I loved her. Not knowing she was going to pass that next day.
This is starting to get very hard for me to write so I'm going to wrap it up.
Basically the night I seen my mom at the gas station and she was acting weird...well I found out she was with T. Yeah, the T I called my brother growing up. I think he felt some type of way the night we fought in front of our friends, or maybe he felt embarrassed. Embarrassed to the point where he wanted revenge. They got together and are still together til this day. I beat myself up time and time again, always remembering that night we were rolling dice betting, and always say to myself, damn it, why cant you ever be more humble with people. Especially your friends, it didnt have to go down like that and you didnt have to kick him out and embarrass him in front of everyone. It's something I beat myself up about everyday. The way I get with people when I feel betrayed.
Today I have major trust issues and always have my guard up. I tend to not let anyone in anymore.
Oh....and The guy who ran up in my house....I got set up by J. My other boy I called "brother". I guess the day I called him after he left when he said he had a lick, that's who it was for. It was for the guy that took my pride and robbed me in my own house. The guy that ran up in my house and tied me up.
Remember when I said J went into the bathroom after i gave him the coke that day? Well he went in there to cut it. He cut the ball so bad, it was basically all fake when he went and served the guy up, and the guy pressed J about it, and J told him everything; Where my coke was, what my girls work schedule was like, etc., so this guy can plot on me and come at the right time when I was alone. He was outside the whole time waiting for me to get back home that night and when my girl left, that was his opportunity.
I'm trying to go into as much detail as I can but this is not only a struggle to write about, but is getting long and I want this to be read. I need help.
I basically turned to what i knew at the time made me feel best, and those were the oxys. I really started abusing them until it came to the point where I either couldn't find them anymore or they were too expensive and at this point I'm withdrawaling. At which point I started sniffing heroin, and now i have a powder fentanyl habit that's high as the sky. Each and every time I get high, thinking and grieving. Wishing I could turn back time.
I can say a few things tho. Thank god I'm terrified, literally terrified of needles or i probably would have shot up a long time ago. And I thank god I'm still alive. Out of the past few years of me sniffing fentanyl, I overdosed 1 time, and if it wasnt for my girl hearing me fall on the kitchen floor at midnight waking her, I would of died on that floor that night. They had to bring me back to life that night.
I've pushed the little family I have away over this bullshit, and my life is in shambles. I've considered suicide a few times in my life throughout this hell journey but never had the balls to do it and always remind myself I'm better than this.
Today I'm currently laying down in my room in rehab. I'm 20 days clean, for the first time since I started popping oxys 5years ago. But it's hard. Very hard. I dont know what to do when I get out and I'm scared. Any words of motivation or advice would be appreciated. I know this was a long one and it was very hard to write and this probably wont get read because its so long, and probably isn't even 35% of what I've gone through in my life, but I just want to open up about this. Something I've never done as a quiet humble person. I'd need to write a book if I wrote about everything. Things that movies are made from. I'm still alive and I know it's for a reason.
If you got this far, thank you for taking the time to at least read about some of my journey and any words of advice, courage, or wisdom will be much appreciated. I lost everyone, and the only one helping me til this day is my girl and my mom. Everyone else that truly cared I pushed away during this time.
I'm lost and just want my life back. I know I'm better than this but I'm losing hope by the day.
submitted by itsadub to lonely [link] [comments]

sky bet each way odds golf video

Betting On Golf Each Way - YouTube How To Bet on Each Way (EW) Racing - YouTube How To Place An Each Way Bet on Betfair - YouTube Different Betting Markets: Match Odds & Beyond How To Put An Each Way Bet - YouTube The Expert Golf Tipster 2018 US Open Betting Picks

Each-way golf betting explained. When betting each-way on golf, it's important to know that dead-heats are extremely common. There can of course only be one outright winner - except in extremely unusual circumstances - but it's quite possible that a big share of second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh or even eighth will affect your payout. Last updated February 12th, 2020. An each-way bet, or ‘ew bet, is two bets: one bet for the selection to win and one bet for the selection to place.The place part of your bet will be settled in accordance with the place terms stated for the event. So if you say “I had a £10 each-way on that winning horse” it means you had a £10 win bet and also a £10 place bet on that winning horse. Then it's about weighing up the difference in price against amount won for backing say a golfer at 67.0 (6 places) as opposed taking him at 71.0 (5 places). When you factor in the ¼ odds ruling for the golf bets each way ruling, you would get odds of 17.5/1 for the 70/1 offer or 16.5/1 for the 66/1 offer. Sky Bet are offering more than 50 unrivalled betting markets ahead of the 2010 Masters at Augusta. The online bookmaker, who are paying five places each way in the outright market, make Tiger You backed Tiger Roll to win the Grand National, you placed a £5 each way bet at odds of 10/1. That means a total stake of £10, £5 on the win and £5 on the place. The bookie is paying 6 places and the terms are 1/5. This means if the horse comes in positions 2-6 you will win the place part at one fifth of the odds of the bet. Each-way bets are very common in racing, and starting to be a little bit more common in sporting events for events where there are gold, silver, bronze medals up for grabs. Most commonly in the racing side of things though, you can place an each-way bet on a horse you may not quite have the confidence in to place a bet on straight out for the When you bet £10 each way, you aren’t just betting £10. This is a pretty common mistake, so don’t worry. £10 ‘each way’ means that you bet £10 on one outcome and £10 on another outcome. In this example, this bet would have cost £20. An each way bet from start to finish: Make a selection and decide how much you want to bet each way. Main Bet: Sungae Im each-way @ 28/1 The rowdiest tournament in golf gets downgraded 'to slightly loud on occasion' this year. There will be some fans allowed on site although its limited to 5,000 Gambling Therapy; 18; Gamble Aware; When the Fun Stops, Stop; We are committed to Responsible Gambling and have a number of self-help tools to help you manage your gambling.. We also work with a number of independent charitable organisations who can offer help or answer any questions you may have. One of the world's leading online gambling companies. The most comprehensive In-Play service. Deposit Bonus for New Customers. Watch Live Sport. We stream over 100,000 events. Bet on Sportsbook and Casino.

sky bet each way odds golf top

[index] [6530] [4204] [4016] [4587] [410] [2188] [7243] [9524] [1929] [8892]

Betting On Golf Each Way - YouTube

Betting Each WayBetting each way is a useful tool in horse racing. It’s a great way of finding value.A each way bet is two bets - one to win and one place..... Full and free betting preview and expert betting tips ahead of the 2018 US Open from Shinnecock Hill New York. With Top-5 each way selections, and long odds 100/1 shots worth a flutter. Looking for a instructional video on How To Put An Each Way Bet? This practical tutorial explains accurately how it's done, and will help you get good at bet... The best place in the UK to learn about matched betting is with Profit Squirrel, using our incredible and risk-free method. Thousands of our members are earning over £500 each and every month. How to bet on Golf each way on Betfair In this video I will show you how you can place an each way bet on Betfair. I will also show you the alternative methods that can be used to give you more co...

sky bet each way odds golf

Copyright © 2024 hot.playtoprealmoneygame.xyz