Edit: LOL guys this is not a request for advice on how to impress attendings. It is a brief how-(not)-to guide in case study form. For those coming here hoping for actual advice, the advice given is reasonable, but I am proof that a lack of clinical knowledge should never hold you back from doing well in third year. Show up and be a solid human and you’ll be fine.
———
I’m MD/PhD and came back to third year after 5 years in a lab. Math is hard but by my rough calculations, that meant my interns were closer to Step 1 than I was.
I was on medicine with a particularly academic attending who liked to run through NEJM case studies during lunch on Saturdays. On our last weekend together, congenital heart defects came up on our differential and all eyes turned to me. I had just taken an uncomfortably large bite of my sandwich, so I had a long time to mull it over, but all I could come up with was:
“I don’t know, something about Ts and blue babies? Look at y’all acting like you’re not closer to Step 1 than me.”
And then I took another bite, because there was no coming back from that.

Respect the Doctor

"Hello, I'm the Doctor. Basically... run!"

When Amy Pond was a little girl she was visited by a raggedy man in a blue box. When she grew up, he came back and took her on the adventure of a lifetime. He's called the Doctor. Behind his youthful appearance and childlike demeanor is a centuries-old, vastly-intelligent alien from the planet Gallifrey. Traveling in his transdimensional space-time machine, he strives to fight evil and help those in need wherever he goes. Amy ran away with him and they've been running ever since...

Source Key

Hover over a feat to view it's source.
Regular Episodes

• Doctor Who (2005) season # episode # = S#E#
• Sarah Jane Adventures (2007): Death of the Doctor = SJA

Specials

• The End of Time Part 2 = EoT
• A Christmas Carol = CC
• The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe = DWW
• The Snowmen = SM
• The Day of the Doctor = 50th
• The Time of the Doctor = Regeneration

Mini-Episodes

• Meanwhile in the Tardis = Meanwhile
• Night and the Doctor = Night
• Good as Gold = Gold
• The Inforarium = Inforarium
• Space = Space
• Time = Time
• Death is the Only Answer = Death
• Rains Gods = Rain
• The History of the Doctor = History
• Clara and the TARDIS = Clara

Prequels

• The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe = P-DWW
• Pond Life = Pond Life

Intelligence

Technological Aptitude
Using Technology

• Creates a computer virus that's "very clever, superfast and a tiny bit alive" on a guy's phone that resets every counter available on Earth to get the Atraxi's attention.
• Uses a spaceship's artificial gravity to escape the Weeping Angels then later exploits that same spaceship's failing gravity to send the Angels into a crack in time.
• Operates a Silurian control panel to release an energy pulse to deactivate a drill.
• Switches places with Clyde Langer by tapping into his residual artron energy (from their last meeting) to reunite with his former companions.
• Uses a tesalecta - a robotic duplicate of himself - to fake his own death.
• Stops an airplane from plummeting into the ground when everybody onboard was rendered unconscious by evil WiFi.
• Hijacks a spoonhead replica of himself to infiltrate the group controlling them and trap their leader in their databank, forcing them to release all the people they captured.

Building Technology

• Builds a scanner out of household objects, applying methods of the Lammasteen.
• Builds a location-swapping teleporter from a pile of wreckage then upgrades it (with Sarah Jane Smith and Jo Grant's help) so they no longer need to switch places with a receiver.
• Builds a functional TARDIS console from the junked remains of numerous dead TARDISes.
• Inadvertently invents the quadrocycle.
• Builds a psychochronograph to amplify a psychic's abilities and open a door to a pocket dimension.

Modifying Technology

• Tinkers with an electric shock machine so that it delivers a charge powerful enough to render the star whale it's torturing into a vegetative state, but is interrupted before he can complete the deed.
• Instructs Rory to reboot a regulator valve to bring two versions of Amy into the same time stream.
• Modifies a Cybermat to attack its controllers.
• Sabotages Soloman's ship so that it's targeted by a barrage of missiles intended for another spaceship.
• Adds an anti-gravity modification to a kid's toy train.
• Makes a man's barn bigger on the inside.

Repairing Technology

• Quickly fixes an Ood's translator sphere.
• Restarts the power inside a monastery alongside his ganger.

Disabling/Countering Technology

• Prevents an android from detonating by humanizing him with the fake memories he was programmed with.
• Deactivates the generator of a dangerous weather machine.
• Shuts down a starship's engine by making Craig touch it while focusing on why he has no desire to leave his flat, thereby counteracting the ship's protocols to seek out pilots from people who do have a desire to leave.
• Prevents Craig from being cyber-converted by evoking his paternal instinct which causes a feedback loop that kills all the Cybermen.
• Stops the Shansheeth from creating their own TARDIS key out of Sarah and Jo's memories by encouraging them to reminisce about their travels with him, overloading the memory weave device in the process.
• Causes the destruction of a spaceship.
• Easily disables Soloman's robots.
• Reverses a sinister WiFi company's attempt at uploading Clara's mind into their databanks before leaving them a warning message in return.

Miscellaneous/Vague

• Hacks into a conference call attended by the greatest scientific minds in the world.
• Is implied to have blown up an entire Cyberman fleet.
• Either deleted every record of himself from every database in the universe or memory-proofed them so they were instantly forgotten once learned.
• Admits he can't hack into an evil organization to determine their location.

Observation

• Picks up onto a conspiracy from a crying child and suspiciously-clean robot booths.
• Notices something is wrong with a starship due to the stillness of water glasses onboard.
• Realizes the Queen's true age from her personally-sculpted mask.
• Performs an environment check on a planet the TARDIS just landed on by merely looking outside.
• Calculates the time a trio of transport pods will reach the surface from looking at their position on a map.
• Discovers a man has daddy issues from his actions and the way his room is oriented.
• Identifies the building blocks of his prison cell as made of dwarf star alloy.
• Guesses the date of a monastery by looking at it.
• Discovers that a couple's son isn't their biological child from inspecting their photo album.
• Quickly uncovers a hidden door in a department store changing room.
• Can identify a number of alien species on sight.
• Recognizes that a disemboweled corpse was a means of studying human anatomy and not an act of savagery.
• Discovers that a woman experimented on her daughter based on the pattern of her facial scarring.
• Notes that a number of painting frames were broken from the inside due to the shatter patterns of the glass.

Deduction

• Deduces a way to halt the Weeping Angel growing inside Amy's mind.
• Deduces the Saturnyn's plot based on their leader's wording.
• Realizes a man is about to ignite an explosion just in the nick of time.
• Realizes that an invisible alien is in fact blind.
• Pinpoints a child's location from the vague information provided.
• Realizes that the Siren travels through reflections not water.
• Deduces that the ongoing threat is actually the psychic manifestation of an alien child feeling rejected by his parents.
• Deduces that the Minotaur feeds on faith not fear.
• Realizes that he's been lured into a trap by an unknowing party.
• Discovers that Soloman's attempt to steal a ship full of dinosaurs didn't go to plan.
• Deduces who the "Alien Doctor" is and that he's in the building with him.
• After firing off a bunch of inaccurate deductions while dressed as Sherlock Holmes, he makes a series of accurate ones when confronting the Great Intelligence.
• Realizes that the Crooked Man was just searching for his mate.

Persuasion, Trickery & Manipulation

• Convinces a group of boffins that he's a genius by revealing several scientific truths beyond human knowledge.
• Keeps the Daleks from exterminating him by pretending a jammy dodger is the TARDIS' self-destruct button.
• Persuades Sophie to pursue her dreams.
• Gets Kazran's staff out of the way by making them believe they won a non-existent lottery.
• Convinces Kazran to have a change of heart by using his fear of becoming like his father.
• Orchestrates the mass murder of the Silence by splicing a clip of one saying humans should kill them all on sight during the Moon Landing broadcast.
• Makes a group of rebellious doppelgangers drop their war against humans by appealing to their humanity.
• Poses as his doppelganger and vice versa as part of a social experiment to see how different the Flesh really are to their original counterparts.
• Breaks Amy's faith in him to starve the Minotaur to death.
• Claims he takes on human companions because they make people more open to talking when investigating.
• Talks down a cowboy aiming a gun at him.
• Tricks Simeon into getting bitten by a memory worm.
• With Clara, poses as a Northern married couple to infiltrate Sweetville.
• Alongside his previous incarnations, he convinces the humans and Zygons to look past their differences and form a treaty.

Planning & Strategy

• Involves himself in a number of wacky historical events to insert himself into history books as a way to get the Ponds' attention.
• Assembles an army consisting of Silurians, Judoon and more in an attempt to rescue Amy from Demons Run.
• Anticipates River's assassination attempt on him and makes small changes to defuse her resources ahead of time.
• Plots his and past selves' escape from a 16th century jail cell by etching the activation code to a vortex manipulator onto a stone beam so Clara can use it to travel back in time and rescue them.
• Worked out the computations needed to freeze Gallifrey throughout his current and past eleven lives.
• Shaves his head so he can hide a spare TARDIS key in a wig in case somebody seizes the original.
• Spent centuries defending the town of Christmas against multiple alien forces.

Medical

• Brings Craig back to full health after he was poisoned.
• Treat Soloman's leg against his will.
• Cures himself and Clara from the Crimson Horror using a dubious-looking steam chamber.

Spatial Awareness

• Can discern minute details of his surroundings and recall them with eidetic accuracy.
• Commandeers a fire truck and drives its ladder into the window of the room Amy's in based on her instructions.
• While on a spaceship version of the United Kingdom, he surmises that he and Amy have ended up in Lancashire.
• Determines the direction and distance of the primary flight deck of the starship he's in despite his jungle-like surroundings.

Miscellaneous Intelligence & Skills

• Rebukes the accuracy of multiple items on display in "the biggest museum ever".
• Speed-reads an entire book in a single flip-through.
• Interrogates a Silurian.
• Can cook a mean omelette with zero preperation.
• Plays football with remarkable skill despite knowing next to nothing about it.
• Excels when he covers for Craig's call center job.
• Captures a sky shark and uses it to fly a carriage.
• Claims to know all manner of languages, including ancient Gallifreyan, baby, horse, Krafayis, Minotaur and this random vendor..
• Has a degree in both medicine and cheese-making.
• Knows a method of instantly silencing beings with underdeveloped brains, but it only works the first time.
• Can get a lot done in one hour.
• Nicks an item from a man's pocket without him noticing.
• Analyzes a mysterious poison using a chemistry set.
• Traps a Weeping Angel in a self-inflicted quantum lock using a mirror.
• Despite his encyclopedic knowledge of the universe, he still doesn't know everything.

Physical Attributes

Time Lord Biology
While Time Lords appear human on the outside, they are biologically distinct in several respects.

• Computers that specifically cater to humans do not register him as such.
• Possesses two hearts and can survive with just one if the other fails, but will eventually require resuscitation.
• Has a much greater lifespan than humans. While he retains a youthful appearance for centuries, he does start visibly aging after defending Tenzalore for hundreds of years until eventually expiring of old age.
• Is not compatible for cyber-conversion, except for an especially advanced type of Cybermen.
• Thanks to his respiratory bypass system, he can survive in the vacuum of space long enough to acquire a spacesuit.
• According to Amy, his bite is unusually sharp.
• His binary vascular system makes him vulnerable to the one-day plague.

Strength

• Hangs onto the doorway of the TARDIS as it flies wildly and pulls himself back up inside it.
• Kicks a Dalek away.
• Momentarily keeps a sky shark from busting through a door.
• Hauls a piece of TARDIS wall.
• Crashes through a glass door.
• Dangles from the base of the TARDIS as it's being carried by a helicopter.
• Gets held back by a pirate.
• Gets overpowered by a man possessed by the Great Intelligence.

Speed & Agility

• Avoids Dalek gunfire at close range.
• Dodges a charging Silurian from behind.
• Moves a woman away from being blasted by Silurians.
• Ducks under a Silurian's tongue attack.
• Ducks an invisible alien's swipe at Vincent Van Gogh's warning but gets tagged at the second attempt when given an incorrect instruction.
• Outruns a Krafayis.
• Dodges laser bolts from a Cyberman arm then uses himself to draw its fire.
• Blocks a Dalek's firepower with a satellite dish.
• Narrowly avoids being eaten by a sky shark.
• Dodges gunfire from a pirate.
• Catches a Cybermat with a net.
• Runs through the corridor of an exploding spaceship without getting harmed.
• Outruns a group of stampeding ankylosauruses.
• Avoids a number of pterodactyls.
• Dodges laser bolts.
• Avoids a number of poles protruding from the walls of the TARDIS.
• Dodges gunfire from multiple Daleks surrounding him.
• Uses Handles to block Cybermen's wrist lasers.

Durability & Endurance

• Is merely knocked out by an electrified door.
• Manually stops a church bell from ringing with no ill effects.
• Gets tail-whipped by a Krafayis.
• Survives being electrocuted by a Cyberman's arm.
• Shrugs off a face punch from Auton-Rory.
• After being fatally shot by a Dalek, he manages to hook himself up and a vortex manipulator to the Pandorica in his dying moments.
• Slides down a chimney okay.
• Gets electrocuted by a circuit panel during a solar storm, causing him to fall a decent height and is only knocked out for a few hours.
• Gets hit by a sports car.
• After being poisoned by River Song, he gathers enough inner strength to persist (and even change his outfit) despite slowly dying.
• Shrugs off electrocution.
• Quickly recovers after being crushed by his own TARDIS.
• Survives exposure to a poison that could kill humans.
• Isn't bothered by the wintery climate while in the nude (but holographically-covered up).
• Amy knocks him out with a cricket bat.
• Gets knocked out by a gas used by the Silurians.
• Gets knocked out when he bumps into a Cyberman.

Senses

• Determines the age of a wood shed by tasting it.
• Detects a drilling sound originating from a subterranean city that no one else can hear.
• Determines that a sound comes from the Earth's core.
• Inspects an envelope by sniffing and licking it.
• Determines that the planet they're on isn't Earth from tasting the air.
• Predicts the weather by smelling the ozone.

Regeneration
Time Lords approaching death can survive by undergoing regeneration: a process that changes every cell in their body and transforms them into a new physical form and persona.

• Uses some of his residual regeneration energy to heal River's broken hand, who scolds him for such a blatant waste of precious energy.
• Claims that regeneration would undo his cyber-conversion.
• Can weaponize his regeneration energy with such might that it destroys a Dalek mothership.
• Is partially restored to a young appearance before undergoing a new regeneration cycle, despite old age being the cause of death.
• The process can fail if interrupted, like being fatally shot once more.
• Certain agents can bypass regeneration entirely and permanently kill him, like Judas tree poison and Chen-7.
• Is limited to only twelve regenerations across his life. Despite being the "eleventh" Doctor, the existence of his War incarnation and the aborted half-regeneration from his previous incarnation meant he is technically the final one in the cycle (which contradicts some of the points from above but whatever). However, thanks to Clara pleading with the Time Lords he is granted a new regeneration cycle so he can live on for at least another three seasons.

Mental Abilities

Telepathy

• Causes Amy to dream about Prisoner Zero, forcing said alien to assume his true form due to his psychic link with her.
• Communicates psychically with a housecat.
• Transfers information about himself into Craig's mind by banging their foreheads together.
• Implants a message into an unconscious Amy's mind.
• Tracks down multiple Time Lord distress signals to their hypercubes.
• Senses the Flesh's collective suffering.

Perception

• Senses a door hidden by a perception filter.
• Perceives the passage of time differently from humans.
• Can see and touch River Song's "echo" even though she was only meant to be seen by Clara.

Mental Resistance

• As a time-traveler, he retains his memories of the people erased by cracks in time. He even continues to remember Rory despite his fiancée losing her memories of him.
• Is unaffected by localized time distortions.
• Resists having his mind completely taken over by the Cyber-Planner, instead challenging him to a game of chess to decide who has complete control over his brain.

Other

• Regains all of his memories by reading his diary for a short time.

Miscellanous

• Causes an alien police force to flee Earth just by being himself.
• Got engaged to Marilyn Munroe by accident.
• Knows Santa personally.
• Is good friends with Winston Churchill.
• Is considered so much of a threat that his rogues gallery joined forces to stop him from destroying the universe.
• The statues of Easter Island are apparently based on him.
• Has been hit on by the Founding Fathers, Queen Nefertiti and Mata Hari.
• According to River, the universal understanding of the title "Doctor" as a healewise man came from him.
• Accidentally saved Adolf Hitler from a futuristic assassination attempt.
• The Daleks consider him their natural predator.
• Claims he invented Yorkshire pudding and pasta.

"Bowties are cool."

Fascinating/very comprehensive article on Trevor Bauer's then-controversial training regimen (long toss, analytics etc.) leading up to being drafted 3rd overall by the Diamondbacks in 2011.
Here are some excerpts from this ~3600 word article. I focused on parts that broke down his training techniques but much of the article talks about why executives around the league were wary about it (i.e. throwing so much at such high intensity being considered a huge injury risk):
"Bauer will tell you that virtually every play in a baseball game takes 12 seconds or less, so his workout regimen consists of vigorous exercises that last no more than a fifth of a minute. He will tell you that every hitter must decide to swing no later than the first 20 feet a pitch is in the air, so he practices throwing into a metal grid 20 feet in front of the mound to ensure that all his pitches start on the same plane."
"Bauer throws at least six days a week with baseballs, weighted balls or medicine balls. He long-tosses 380 feet, even before starts. He warms up for his outings with about 45 pitches in the bullpen, and during especially long innings when his team is at bat, he heads back to the pen for more work. On his first warmup toss between innings, he crow hops across the mound and unleashes a fastball more than 100 miles per hour."
"Wagner junked the video and encouraged Trevor to experiment. They pulled back his front hip, angling it toward the third base line and uncoiling it toward home plate like a slingshot. Warren made Velcro harnesses that Trevor wore around his chest to isolate the lower body. Radar-gun readings climbed. Wagner introduced Trevor to L.A. long-toss guru Alan Jaeger, who tutored one of the most durable pitchers in the big leagues, the Angels' Dan Haren. When Trevor was 12, Jaeger put him on an arm-care program similar to what physical therapists prescribe for pitchers rehabilitating from rotator-cuff surgery. Trevor had to perform six shoulder exercises with Thera-Band tubing strapped to his wrists before he could make a throw. But once he was warm, Jaeger urged him to let fly. Trevor would bike to a park near his house with a milk crate full of balls and hurl them 300 feet against an adjacent tennis court's fence before the pro ran him off.
On the recommendation of Wagner and Jaeger, Trevor fled every summer to East Texas, where he could long-toss until midnight, and often did."
"Wolforth once went to watch TV in the barn and found Bauer placing yellow dots all over the screen because he was mapping the plane of his pitches."
"The next year, as a sophomore [in highschool] Bauer took physics and applied the lessons to what he had seem Lincecum do. "It started making sense why he did what he did," Bauer says, standing to demonstrate. "The more you delay your hip and shoulder from opening up, as long as you're moving toward home, you're shortening the distance to the plate and adding tension to the body, stretching the elastic band. If you fire your back hip and keep the front side of your body closed, you get more torque. The more torque you get, the more impulse you will get when you release."'
"Bauer graduated early and enrolled at UCLA at the start of 2009, where his routine stayed the same. He refused to lift weights because he felt they diminished his flexibility. He didn't run poles because he believed the distance compromised his explosiveness. His short-burst workouts with cones, ladders and hoses were just as demanding."
"Husband has tracked millions of pitches in major league games and concluded that a 90-mile-per-hour pitch appears to a hitter roughly five miles per hour faster if it's on the inside corner and five miles per hour slower on the outside corner. Husband's theory, known as Effective Velocity, provided Bauer with the basis for his complex pitch sequences this season. When he returned from Omaha, he called Husband and asked him one question that Wolforth was never able to answer: When does a hitter have to commit? Husband calculated the point of no return at the 20-foot mark. Bauer was concerned that his pitches were traveling on different planes before they reached 20 feet—Husband calls the planes "tunnels"—and therefore weren't deceptive enough. He sent film of the pitches to Husband, whose advanced video system makes it possible to overlay them on the same screen and show how each one differs at 20 feet. Husband sent back the clips with a narration of his findings.
"I've talked to other pitchers about this, and they're like, 'O.K., great, thanks a lot,'" Husband says. "There are only a few people in the world like Trevor." Warren promptly assembled a six- by seven-foot metal grid so Trevor could practice throwing through the same tunnel"
https://vault.si.com/vault/2011/08/15/trevor-bauer-will-not-be-babied

Greetings, Peasants.

CURRENT MAINLINE PATCH: e1.5.4

CURRENT BETA BRANCH: 1.5.5

Welcome to the patch thread, we make these threads to save us another pin space for other things.

Taleworlds forum bug reporting thread

Mount and Blade Discord

Link to wiki - Previous patches and threads inside

Main

Main e1.5.4

Previous Beta Hotfixes:

03/11/20

Fixed the issue of some faction troops looking older and plump.
Fixed a crash that occurred in certain cases during a crush through.
Fixed a crash that occurred when loading a save file that has the issue target hero who had already died.
Fixed the issue of showing companions twice in the clan page.
Fixed a crash that occurred when a player tried to raid a neutral village while being a mercenary and the villagers didn't resist.

22/10/20

Fixed the issue of baby siblings' names appearing on the inventory menu.
Fixed the issue of broken perk icon placements for the 300 level perks.
Fixed the issue where locking items in the trade screen prevented the "Take All/Buy All" feature from working as intended.
Fixed the issue of health bar of non-heroes being shown on the hideout troop management screen.
Replaced the gloves of the Oathsworn troop of Battania as a temporary fix until the model morphing issue is fixed.
Fixed the issue of the white background texture being shown in the perk trees.
Fixed a crash that occurred when pressing "Exit to Main Menu" option while a conversation was active.
Fixed the issue of siege engines building too fast which was caused by the Sweatshop perk of Steward skill.

Initial Beta Changelog

Beta

Beta e1.5.5

Singleplayer

Crashes

Fixed a crash related to formation AI.
Fixed a quest issue that caused the game to crash on loading.
Fixed two crashes that occurred after the player cleared an alley.
Fixed a crash that occurred when performing hostile actions against neutral villages while serving a kingdom as mercenary.
Fixed a crash related to initial kingdom hero spawn points that occurred when loading the game.
Fixed a crash that occurred when pressing the exit to the main menu button while a conversation was active.
Fixed a bug that crashed the game after gaining XP when the player was already at the maximum level.
Fixed a crash which appeared after changing an option in the options menu.
Fixed a crash that happened when the "Fight against the conspiracy" quest timed out.
Fixed a crash that happened when Radagos was executed in the “Rescue Family” quest.
Fixed a crash that occurred when entering the same village over and over again.
Fixed a crash that occurred after offering a truce during barter.

Performance

Fixed a bug that caused performance drops on the world map after sounds were cut.

Save & Load

Autosave interval duration was increased. It now autosaves after leaving settlement and ending encounters.
A notification will be displayed after saving the game successfully.
Daily gold changes occurred multiple times in different loaded games for some saved games. This was fixed. Now the daily gold change occurs only once in a day.

Localisation

Text additions, spell checks and punctuation fixes.
Chinese localisation fixes.

Art

Navmesh IDs changed for better AI behaviours in front of castle gates.
Visual improvements on Khuzait, Vlandian and Empire villages:

khuzait_village_f
Empire_village_o
vlandia_village_j

Physics problems on some castle walls and rooves are solved in Tsagaan Castle.
In order to have a better balance between ranged and melee troops, high ground areas and their connections between each other were reduced in number in Tsagaan Castle.
Assigned alpha versions parallax to materials with parallax.
Visual improvements on Battania Keep and gatehouse models.
Improvements to the existing campaign maps icons.
Added new cradle model.

UI

Changes

Added autosave interval control to the Campaign Options panel.
Added Married/Not Married filters to the encyclopedia hero list page.
Added explanation tooltip to the tax value in Town Management.
Now, the equip button in the inventory will replace the same type of weapon (if there is one equipped).
Army overlay can now show more than 18 parties in the army.
Barter offered item amount is now an editable text area.
Players can now load save games with double click on the saved game tuple.

Fixes

Fixed long party names overlapping weight values in the inventory screen.
Fixed a bug that caused UI to disappear after inspecting a companion's troops while talking.
Fixed minor visual issues in the tournament prize panel.
Fixed a bug that showed swapped values for "Casualties Inflicted" for a diplomacy war item.
Fixed a bug in the army nameplate that caused an issue icon to be visible even though the lord with the issue hasn't joined the army yet.

Battles and Sieges

Added -20% damage and weapon speed/reload penalty for using weapons while mounted. This is lowered by the Riding skill and reaches zero penalty at 100. The effect only applies to troops and characters in singleplayer mode. Some mechanical weapons (such as crossbows) are exempt from the damage penalty.
Heroes will no longer receive medicine skill experience for teamkills in battles.
Some archery points in siege scenes were not being removed as expected when certain objects like walls and broken versions of walls were swapped around causing archer agents trying to go to undesirable positions. Fixed/added more functionality to add on deploy/remove on deploy properties.
Moving in formation speed limits were not applied properly, they have been fixed and speeds were reduced overall, This is especially noticeable in shield wall, circle and square arrangements.
When troops with ranged weapons were given the charge order they didn't approach the enemy if there was a friend in the way. This was fixed. Moving sideways to try to see enemies past friends was also added, making giving the charge order without telling troops to hold fire much more effective.
Due to an error in updating the target agent after their target was killed and they moved back a few steps, ranged troops tended to face away from the enemy. This was fixed.
Fixed a bug that caused formations to fidget about when trying to hold a defensive position.
Implemented a new system that calculates troop power based on context. Removed cavalry troop simulation bonuses for sieges.
Light crossbows are reloadable on horseback now. Some of the heaviest crossbows are capable of penetrating shields.

Character Development System

Added 10 more combat-related tactics perks to the game. This finalizes the current tactics skill tree.
Added and balanced 32 medicine perk effects on the campaign side.
Fixed the speed bonus for siege engine construction of the Sweatshop perk in the Steward skill. Instead of a flat bonus of 20, it is now 20%.
Fixed a bug that causes troops to appear as very old or young.
Fixed a bug that caused children to show up in the inventory screen as selectable.
Fixed a bug that caused the player to heal immediately just by waiting on the map.

Clan and Party

Bandit parties which were close to a hideout were attacking other stronger parties because they assumed that parties inside the hideout would help them. However, that is not the case. They will no longer make this assumption.
Fixed a bug that leaves the main hero's spouse in the main party in a fugitive state.
Enabled AI marriages to occur over time.
Gave most clans enough adult members to lead the minimum number of parties. Added children to some clans to ensure better long-term continuity. More changes will follow.

Armies

Fix a bug that allowed lords in the player's army to recruit from raided villages.

Kingdoms and Diplomacy

Fixed a bug that caused dead heroes to participate in kingdom decisions.
Fixed a bug that led to mercenary clans defecting as vassals to other kingdoms during the main storyline.
Fixed an issue that stopped kingdom decisions from properly resolving when the player joined the kingdom as a mercenary.

Economy and Trade

Fixed a bug that prevents the effects of daily settlement projects.
Fixed an issue that caused caravan speeds to drop to 1-2 speed because they were buying too many animals. Now, caravans do not buy more animals than their herd limit. If they have more animals than the limit, they sell excess animals when they enter a town.
Fixed a problem with tanneries not making any profit and closing all over the world in the long term.
All workshops are a bit more profitable now.

Crafting

Missing/Invalid damage type strings were fixed.
Fixed an issue with some crafted two-handed weapon blades not disappearing from the character’s back after drawing the weapon.
Fixed a bug that caused the wrong tooltip and description to show at the smelting and refining screen.

Settlement Actions (Town, Village, Castle and Hideout)

Players are no longer able to form caravans while in disguise.
Players are no longer able to buy workshops while in disguise.
Players can no longer heal by entering and leaving the training field.

Quests & Issues

Quest battle AI aggressiveness improvements. (Quest NPCs will be more defensive in combat based on their skills.)
Fixed a bug that caused some quest rewards to be floating-point numbers.
Quest difficulties will now scale according to player progress even while the quest is ongoing.
Crime rating will only be gained after the rejection of the counter-offer in the quest "Can't Sell Product at a Fair Price".
Decreased relationship reward for the quest "Overpriced Raw Materials" from 10 to 5.
Fixed an issue with the quest "Needs Grain Seeds" not giving relationship rewards or penalties.
Fixed a bug that causes some conversations to not trigger in Manual Laborer Quest.
Fixed a bug that caused a companion to join the quest duel in the “Notable Wants Daughter Found” quest.
Prosperity penalty and bonus for Army of Poachers quest are changed from +-100 to +-30.
Fixed a bug that causes the “Escort Caravan” quest ambush party size to be 0 in some situations.
Fixed a bug that made the tutorial village headmen disappear.

Conversations & Encounters

Fixed a bug that causes ransom broker's initial dialogue to be empty.
Fixed a bug that opened prisoner conversation missions in a hideout with the lord’s hall background scene.
Villagers and guards should change their dialogues if the player is lord of their settlement or faction ruler. Fixed a bug that caused lords to comment on raids on their settlements as if the player had been responsible.

Other

Basic units will no longer use polearm type of weapons as they were getting too good at stopping cavalry charges.
Removed the out of place shield from Tacteos' back.
Some Aserai notables and peasants were wearing out of place armour. This was fixed.
Changed a few tournament loadout matchups for Battania and Aserai. Fights between all ranged units and ranged versus two-handers are less likely to happen.
Changed armours and shields of Caravan Guards of Sturgia, Vlandia and Empire.
Added player spouse death notification.
Fixed a bug that causes some dancers and beggars to spawn very young.
Added an option to enable/disable birth, ageing and death in the campaign. With this option enabled no new hero will be born and no one will die in the game.
Item Modifiers Update:

While modifiers worked mostly as intended for armours, they did not work correctly for weapons(stats of weapons were not affected by them), that's fixed.
Not all items had the correct modifiers associated with them, that's fixed.
Modifiers now affect stack count correctly("large bag of..." works).

Lame Horse feature was implemented:

When your horse "goes down" in a mission there is a chance that it will get the Lame modifier, which will affect the stats of it.

Players can now forfeit board games on the enemy’s turn.
Improved the replacement of invalid or deleted items with trash items. This may help some corrupted saves and should make it less likely for corruptions of this nature to occur.

Multiplayer

Please Note: Multiplayer servers will be opened for the beta branch to enable you to test the changes below. They will open tomorrow (Friday) around 11 am UTC and will remain open over the weekend.

Design & Balance

Combat

Bows, Crossbows and all Throwing Weapons' readying/aiming duration and patterns are now related to weapon speed (aiming used to be standard for all ranged weapons).
-The faster the weapon is, the faster it readies up, the smaller the initial crosshair, the faster it gets accurate and the longer it holds max accuracy.
-Minor adjustments will be made after reviewing performance.
New Perk for bows and crossbows:
-Faster Release - Grants faster-travelling projectiles to increase the effective range of Bows and Crossbows. Does not increase the damage value.

Weapon and Equipment Changes

New Weapon: Battanian Throwing Axe

Similar to other throwing axes

New Weapon: Aserai Throwing Axe

Deals more damage, Stack count 2

New Weapon: Battanian Bastard Sword

Can be used two-handed

New Weapon: Vlandian Bastard Sword

Can be used two-handed

New Weapon: Western Bastard Sword

Can be used two-handed

New Weapon: Fast Hunting Bow

A very fast bow with low damage

New Weapon: Light Javelin

A javelin with lower damage

Slightly increased damage of all Lances.
Javelin

Stack count increased from 3 to 4
Extra Javelin Stack size increased from 6 to 8
Damage is decreased from 46 to 34

Jareed

Stack count increased from 2 to 3
Damage is decreased from 65 to 52

Northern Fish Harpoon

Extra Harpoon Stack count increased from 7 to 8
Damage is decreased from 44 to 33

Reinforced Northern Fish Harpoon

Stack count decreased from 4 to 3
Damage is decreased from 60 to 49

Imperial Javelins

Stack count decreased from 4 to 3
Damage decreased from 56 to 45

Short Bow

Accuracy decreased from 91 to 84
Damage decreased from 49 to 46

Hunting Longbow

Accuracy increased from 90 to 96
Damage increased from 54 to 60

Recurve Bow

Damage decreased from 56 to 50

Superior Bow

Accuracy decreased from 90 to 72
Damage decreased from 56 to 32

Fast Short Bow

Accuracy decreased from 89 to 82
Damage decreased from 47 to 34

Strong Recurve Bow

Damage decreased from 62 to 61

Yeow Long Bow

Accuracy Increased from 97 to 98
Damage increased from 70 to 73

Arbalest

Damage increased from 95 to 100

Vlandian Throwing Axe

Damage is decreased from 113 to 34

Sturgia Throwing Axe

Damage is decreased from 90 to 34

Khuzait Eastern Lance

Length is increased from 189 to 196

Knight Heavy Horseman's Kite Shield

Hitpoints increased from 105 to 130

Clan Warrior Targe

Armour is increased from 5 to 8.
Hitpoints increased from 100 to 130

Northern Round Shield

Armour is increased from 5 to 10
Hitpoints increased from 105 to 135
Weight increased from 3.3 to 4.5

Bastard Axe

Swing speed increased from 71 to 87
Damage increased from 65 to 95

Troop Changes

All Shock Troops

Combat Movement Speed modifier is decreased from 1.0 to 0.9

Aserai

Skirmisher

Spear perk is changed to Pike perk.

Tribal Warrior

Mace perk is changed to Long Sword perk.
Javelins perk is changed to Mace perk.
Spear perk is changed to Long Spear perk.

Guard

Javelin perk is changed to Light Javelin perk.
Mace perk is changed to Throwing Axe perk.

Archer

Sword perk is changed to Faster Bow perk.
Axe perk is changed to Better Fletching perk.
Spear perk is changed to Sword perk.
Troop Count is increased from 14 to 15
Speed is decreased from 75 to 74

Veteran

Armour is decreased from 32 to 26.
Speed is decreased from 75 to 74.
Troop Count is increased from 10 to 11

Beduin

Swapped Camel and Cavalry Sword perks.

Battania

Clan Warrior

Throwing Spear perk is changed to Spear perk.

Skirmisher

Spear perk is changed to Throwing Spear

Wildling

Larger Shield perk grants Light Oval Shield instead of Heavy Oval Shield.

Savage

Javelin perk is changed to Light Javelin perk.

Oathsworn

Heavy Mace perk is changed to Bastard Sword perk.
Javelin perk is changed to Heavy Mace perk.

Ranger

Two-Handed Axe perk is changed to Faster Bow perk.
Two-Handed Sword perk is changed to Two-Handed Axe perk.
Spear perk is changed to Throwing Axes perk.
Troop Count is increased from 14 to 15.
Speed is decreased from 75 to 74.

Fian

perk is changed to Better Fletching perk.
Faster Arrows perk is changed to Falx perk.
Troop Count is increased from 9 to 11.
Speed is decreased from 74 to 73.
Armour is decreased from 29 to 24.

Empire

Recruit

Extra Javelins perk is changed to Pilum perk.
Axe perk is changed to Extra Javelins perk.

Menavlion Infantry

Javelin Perk is changed to Light Javelin perk.

Legionary

Mace perk is changed to Bastard Sword perk.
Pilum perk is changed to Mace perk.

Archer Militia

Light Crossbow perk is changed to Stronger Bow perk
Strong Arrows perk is changed to Better Fletching perk
Mace perk is changed to Stronger Arrows perk
Spear perk is changed to Extra Arrows perk
Axe perk now replaces default Sword.
Troop Count is increased from 14 to 15
Speed is decreased from 75 to 74
Cost is decreased from 120 to 110.

Palatine Guard

Menavlion perk now replaces the default Sword when picked.
Faster Bow perk is changed to Crossbow perk.
Extra Arrows perk is changed to Small Shield perk.
Strong Arrows perk is changed to Mace perk.
Mace replaces default Sword when picked.
Troop count is increased from 9 to 11.
Speed is decreased from 75 to 74.
Armour is decreased from 32 to 26.

Courser

Throwing Spear perk stack count decreased from 2 to 1.

Khuzait

Spear Infantry

Move Speed value is increased from 77 to 78.
Default Spear is changed to Long Spear
Long Spear perk is changed to Long Sword perk.
Stronger Shield perk is changed to Heavy Mace perk.
Long Sword perk is changed to Pike perk.
Heavy Mace perk is changed to Stronger Shield perk.

Steppe Bow

Short Sword perk is changed to Better Fletching perk.
Short Spear perk is changed to Short Sword perk.
Troop Count is increased from 14 to 15.
Speed is decreased from 75 to 74.

Khan’s Guard

Default sword Ild is changed to Heavy Ild
Troop Count is increased from 9 to 11.
Speed is decreased from 74 to 73.

Nomad

Move Speed value is increased from 76 to 79.
Armour is increased from 14 to 19.
Default Spear is changed to Long Spear
Long Spear perk is changed to Lance Perk
Cavalry Mace perk is changed to Improved Armor perk.

Sturgia

Brigand

Short Spear perk is changed to Throwing Spear perk.

Berserker

Javelin perk is changed to Light Javelin perk.

Varyag

Mace perk is changed to Bastard Axe perk.
Throwing Axes perk is changed to Mace perk.

Hunter

Shield perk is changed to Faster Bow perk.
Fast Arrows perk is changed to Shield perk.
Shield perk now grants Northern Round Shield instead of Northern Cavalry Kite Shield.
Troop Count is increased from 14 to 15.
Speed is decreased from 75 to 74.

Raider

Fixed Raider troops spawning with wrong barding.
Throwing Spear perk stack count decreased from 2 to 1.

Vlandia

Voulgier

Javelin perk is changed to Light Javelin perk.

Sergeant

Mace perk is changed to Bastard Sword perk.
Franceskas perk is changed to Mace perk.

Arbelist

Faster Bolts perk is changed to Small Shield perk.
Troop Count is increased from 14 to 15.
Speed is decreased from 75 to 74.
Cost is increased from 110 to 120.

Sharpshooter

Faster Sword perk is changed to Better Fletching perk.
Pike perk is changed to Strong Bolts perk.
Troop Count is increased from 9 to 10
Speed is decreased from 74 to 73

Fixed Clan Warrior troops spawning with the wrong default sword.
Fixed couch lance bouncing at lower speeds.

Other - Miscellaneous

Fixed an issue where options in the Friends list would not change when our role within the group (leader to member or vice versa) changed.
Fixed Oathsworn gloves visually glitching.
Clans can now be created with 2 players.

Server & Network

Random players can no longer join premade games after a player disconnects.

UI

Changes

Swapped places of Play and Armory tabs to centre the Play tab.
Reporting a player automatically mutes them for you after a report.

Fixes

Minor visuals fixes in the lobby custom game tab.

Both

UI

Changes

Mission Order Radial:

The order UI has been changed and now has radial buttons. This is implemented mostly for gamepad usability since previously, that UI implementation was unusable with gamepads. Because of this, some orders had to be moved. F1 and F2 orders are unaffected but F3-F7 orders are now under a list, F3 (like F1 and F2). We're open to feedback about this change. So let us know what you think!

UI now supports other language characters that are not included in the selected game language:

Previously characters in other languages would show up as block characters. e.g if your game language was English and someone typed in Japanese in the MP chat, the English player would see those characters as block characters. Now they show up as the correct characters.

Performance

Optimisation made for agent spawning, improving the initialisation of battles and reinforcement phases.
Optimisations made on inverse kinematics by reducing unnecessary usage in the animation system, slightly improving the overall performance.

Combat

Fixed a scenario for crush through where the attacker could deal full damage to the opponent.
Troop movement speeds when moving in arrangement had been reduced noticeably in the previous update, according to feedback and testing, this reduction has been made less severe for line arrangement.

Modding

Fixes for crashes when using road_instance script for river sculpting.
Check for errors functionality in editor also checks the physics objects of the mesh bended entities.
A new functionality added to the editor for re-baking the selected GI probes.

Known Issues

Royal Road Page
First Part
Previous Part
Urtan didn’t know if he could complete his mission. Not because the hike was dangerous, which it had been, but because the other members of the expedition party were going to drive him insane. Jryck, their rock elemental guide, had quietly tolerated all of Datog’s remarks throughout their journey. His prejudiced yammering grew endless and it was obvious Jryck wouldn’t put up with it for much longer. Meanwhile, the Archpriest of Wrecks did everything in his power to avoid any questions, often using the excuse that he needed to meditate and commune with their god whenever they had time to rest. Urtan suspected the cleric was just taking naps during these prayer sessions. He couldn’t prove it, though. Any accusations on his part would deteriorate their already weakened morale.
It seemed the only person who could be relied upon wholeheartedly was Aigur. He didn’t complain once during the entire journey, even when the party got surrounded by creatures. That was another thing they noticed on their way up the caverns. Monsters were much more active than ever. These old tunnels had been cleared out centuries prior by their ancestors, to the point where some people speculated these monsters were almost extinct. The earthquake revealed that to be a lie. They weren’t gone; they just learned to avoid high-traffic tunnels. Now that a lot of them had been collapsed and rearranged, the creatures ran amok freely in unpredictable ways.
Nobody knew what to expect every time Jryck opened a new path ahead. Sometimes, they didn’t encounter anything for hours. In other periods, they were hounded by a plethora of disgusting creatures for long stretches of time. Rock-eating cockroaches the size of a horse. Slime spiders whose webs were both adhesive and acidic. That didn’t prepare them, however, for their most horrifying encounter yet: a cavern full of child-like faces that hung from the ceiling like stalactites.
Urtan was the first to walk inside, producing a squishy sound with every step. The faces were connected by throbbing chunks of pale flesh that covered the entire room with moist, sinewy veins. The whole thing was a single creature, similar to a fungus. Seeing the faces blink in unison made the party recoil in disgust. The creature didn’t do anything else as the party moved through that section, just following them with their tiny beady eyes, but their gaze alone was more than enough to put everyone on edge. Urtan sighed after it was behind them. The world felt unrecognizable to him. It had only been two days since leaving Forgeberth but it already felt like an eon.
Jryck mentioned they were nearing the surface a few hours later. Urtan didn’t know whether to look forward to arriving or dread whatever lied on the other side. The creatures might have just been released into the outer world as well. Urtan frowned. There was also the fact that whatever caused this earthquake may be a bigger threat than these loose monsters. Urtan kept that to himself, though. The other dwarves in the party had more or less the same feelings, to varying degrees. They just disagreed on who to blame.
Urtan trusted the Rock Elementals, but he couldn’t deny they were the most likely suspect. Even if his gut feeling was true, and they weren’t behind it, that still meant a powerful enemy waited for them.
Jryck slowed down the pace of his digging when a ray of dim light burst through a crack in the wall. He looked at the expedition party and said:
“We’ve arrived.”
Everyone shared anxious glances with each other. For all they knew, they were about to head into a nest of monsters. Urtan brandished his greathammer, gripping its leather handle tighter with every individual rock that got loosened. The other dwarves did the same with their own weapons. As the landscape slowly revealed itself, the dwarves grew stunned at the sight in front of them. They were high up on the side of a snow-capped mountain. Urtan approached the edge of their cave, covering his eyes from what appeared to be rays of dawn. It was too bright up here. The fact that it would get brighter didn’t entice him to stay longer than necessary. Below, hints of a shattered valley pierced through a veil of morning mist. Its jagged peaks welcomed them like the foaming maws of a hungry beast.
Urtan widened his eyes. Dead elvish soldiers dangled from some of the rocks. It wasn’t long until Datog spotted them as well. The guildmaster couldn’t help but murmur under his breath:
“What in the cataclysm are the knife-ears doing here?”
“Beats me,” said Urtan, scowling, “but I don’t like it.”
“Agreed,” said Jryck, “I worry for the tribe. This is where our city should be. The damage is far greater than I imagined.”
“We need to find Bork,” said Urtan. “He’ll know what’s going on.”
“I recommend we rest first,” added Aigur. “We’ve been going for hours and we’ll get a better view later in the day, after the dew clears away.”
+++++++++
+++++++++
Rhangyl continued mourning his wine bottles as soon as he woke up. He worried the other party members with his brief lightheadedness, but a good night’s sleep had restored his strength. Perhaps it was a good thing he didn’t get to drink. His duties today would’ve been harder with a hangover. He still didn’t know what to do about the captured soldiers. They might provide valuable insight into Kovlar’s intentions, which was vital to the party’s survival. The dilemma arose when deciding how to dispose of them. Rhangyl understood why Lance didn’t kill them. Inconvenient, but honorable. Rhangyl himself didn’t feel comfortable with murdering anyone, let alone relatively uninvolved people. In this situation, though, he wondered if Amaranth may have had the right idea.
The soldier’s disappearance would be easier to hide if they were already corpses. Releasing them was out of the question and leaving them to starve in a locked room felt more cruel than simply executing them. Rhangyl took a sip of his freshly brewed coffee. The warm rush it gave him was a gentle reprieve from his worries. Not all was bad. They now had access to a state-of-the-art military boat equipped with a cloaking device and anti-scrying wards. That might come in handy should they need a quick escape from the banquet.
George entered the kitchen during the middle of the morning. He carried the puffling egg with both arms, nursing it like a baby. Rhangyl greeted him with an awkward smile. He hadn’t mentioned the deal with Myrrin yet. Everyone else was still asleep so now was the perfect opportunity to discuss it. That didn’t make starting the conversation any easier, though.
“Are you feeling better?” asked George, resting the puffling on the counter. He seemed out of breath just from carrying the thing.
“Yeah, I was just tired. Nothing to worry about.”
“I knew bringing those soldiers was a bad idea, but…”
“They didn’t listen?”
George shook his head, guilty. “I didn’t even bother arguing with them.”
“Fair enough. Must’ve felt pointless. You don’t need to beat yourself up over it.”
“I know, I know, but doesn’t it make me… weak?”
Rhangyl squinted, confused. “How so?”
“Well, everyone always listens to you, even if they ultimately choose to ignore you. I never get that consideration.”
Rhangyl laughed. “We all have different strengths, George. That’s exactly why we rely on each other to survive.”
George nodded weakly, lost in thought.
Rhangyl could tell he wasn’t convinced. “Do you still feel like a burden?”
George hesitated for a second. “Yeah…” He sighed. “I got in trouble trying to prove my worth in Arcadia. Sure, I learned not to get bothered by Amaranth’s taunting, but I still put you guys at risk by needing to be saved. If I had been stronger…”
“What? You would’ve fought a god?”
George paused. “That’s not the point.”
“Then what is?”
“I… I don’t know… Every time I feel useless, I get so… angry.”
“You shouldn’t be ashamed of that. Anger is a useful emotion… when appropriate, of course. Would humans have revolted if they weren’t a little angry?”
George pondered a bit. “Maybe? I dunno.”
“Okay then, here’s an easier question: would you have saved Dalura from Amaranth if you didn’t feel those same emotions? I recall you were pretty angry at being told to stay put. That’s what made you look for the rifle.”
“Huh... I hadn’t thought of that.”
“Exactly. Strength isn’t something you can objectively measure, like mana. It’s much more vague and dynamic than that. You might feel weak, but at least you can take action when necessary, even if it seems hopeless or leads to more trouble.” Rhangyl pursed his lips, masking his emergent sorrow. “There’s nothing worse than having power without the strength to wield it. That, my friend, is true despair. Trust me.”
“I didn’t know there was a difference between the two.”
“It’s a subtle, yet important, distinction.”
“I guess I’ll take your word for it.”
Rhangyl smiled. “Give it time, George. You have a long life ahead. Hopefully, you’ll learn this more easily than I did.”
+++++++++
+++++++++
Urtan slurped up most of his mushroom stew in one go. He didn’t have much of an appetite but he forced himself to eat it anyway, uncertain of when they would have the chance to sit down again for a meal. The fire crackled with a steady roar, keeping the party relatively warm inside their makeshift cave. Urtan couldn’t believe how cold it was at this altitude. Nobody in the party reacted well to it. Even Jryck had a difficult time with his geomancy due to the increasing moisture in his body.
The Rock Elementals were only able to leave Forgeberth because they learned enough glyph magic to manipulate the environmental condition here. If their city was gone, that meant they didn’t have any protection from the elements. More and more, it slowly became obvious they weren’t behind this tragedy. Datog hadn’t said a word yet. He kept to himself, much like the Archpriest, but his bashful demeanor showed a hint of shame beneath his stoic exterior. Urtan laid back, content. The gravity of the situation had finally dawned on the guildmaster. Perhaps this would help focus the party towards their goal. Now the only one left to convince was the Archpriest. He still didn’t see a compelling reason to cooperate.
Aigur had noticed the guildmaster’s change too. He finished eating before the other two and said:
“Don’t you have anything to say to Jryck?”
Datog frowned, muffled by the food in his mouth. “Fuck off.”
Aigur chuckled. “You never learn.”
“Let it be,” warned Urtan, amused. “You’ll just embarrass him more.”
“This doesn’t prove a damn thing!” said Datog, spilling some of his stew. “For all we know, they caused the earthquake as part of their building process, to flatten the land.”
Aigur raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. “And the elves?”
“Who knows!” Datog thought for a second. “Maybe the knife-ears came to investigate before we did and got brutalized by the rubbleheads. They were left there as a sign to anyone who dared invade their territory. This could still be an act of war!”
“Unbelievable...” Urtan shook his head with pity. The lengths Datog would go to keep feeling correct were a sight to behold. It bordered on the absurd. He just couldn’t conceive that his presumptions were wrong.
“I don’t completely disagree,” said Jryck.
Everyone stared at him, surprised.
“The earthquake… was powered by geomancy. Every rock elemental in the city felt it.”
Urtan slacked his jaw. “W-what?!?”
“I knew it!” shouted Datog. “I knew they were hiding something!”
“Yek thought it would be best to keep it a secret.”
“Yes,” said Urtan, “that detail certainly doesn’t paint a flattering picture.”
“Regardless of the tribe's intentions, I don’t plan on letting any harm come to you. Yek gave me clear orders to protect you. That being said, don’t make me choose between Forgeberth or them, please.”
“How reassuring…” growled Datog, standing up with his hammer.
“Hold on,” ordered Urtan. “Even if the tribe did cause the earthquake, something must have forced them to take those measures.”
“That’s not our problem!”
“Y-you don’t know that,” said the Archpriest.
Urtan glared at him. “What do you mean?”
“Nothing…” The Archpriest glanced away. “We don’t have the full picture yet. That’s all.”
“Not you too! I can’t take this!” Datog grabbed his bowl of stew. “I’m eating alone!”
Nobody stopped him from leaving the cave. They could still hear him mumbling in the distance so he wasn’t that far away. Jryck hung his head, embarrassed by the lie. He seemed genuine with his promise. Then again, given by how little the Rock Elementals emoted, it could all be an act and Urtan wouldn’t know the difference. Aigur looked just as stumped as him. The Archpriest, though, just continued eating his stew. Urtan wouldn’t keep tolerating his aloofness for much longer. That attitude would come back to haunt the Archpriest, sooner or later. Urtan just wanted to make sure nobody innocent got hurt because of it.
Eventually, Aigur pulled out the rifle he had been using throughout the expedition and started dismantling it, inspecting its mechanisms before oiling them. He made it based on Dalura’s design before leaving, with a few modifications of his own. The weapon had served him well so far. Urtan began to understand why George and his daughter were fixated on creating them. He even decided to commission one from Dalura once she returned home. For now, a greathammer would have to do.
“I really admire you,” said Aigur, still cleaning the rifle. He was talking to Urtan. “You’ve led this expedition with the utmost patience. I never would’ve taken responsibility for this lot.”
“It ain’t as selfless as it seems…”
“Is that so? Why?”
Urtan smiled. “The only reason I’m here is to make sure Dalura is safe. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I had to stay in the city, not when there might be a looming threat on the surface.”
“If it makes you feel better,” said Jryck, “I think your daughter is fine.”
Urtan leaned forward. “Really? How can you tell?”
“We’ve followed more or less the same path she did before splitting off from the tribe. It’s likely she was out of the mountain range by the time the earthquake struck.”
Urtan sighed. “That’s a relief. I’d like more concrete proof, though.”
“I never would’ve guessed you were worried about that,” said Aigur, grinning with facetious mockery. “How disappointing, and here I thought you were only concerned about your duty to Forgeberth.”
Urtan chortled. “How about you? It can’t all be altruistic.”
“Me? I’m just a humble blacksmith.” Aigur finished doing his maintenance and snapped the rifle back into place. “I love my home, but I’m eager to test the limits of this new invention. Dalura was certainly onto something with these guns. You should feel proud of her ingenuity.”
“Well, she takes after her mom.”
An ear-piercing scream cut short the conversation. It was Datog. Did a monster get him? Urtan ran out of the cave and the others soon followed. At the bottom of an icy slope, Datog struggled against an elf that held a scalpel against his neck. The assailant wore the blue robes of a monk of Rigel, its cowl hiding the rest of his face except for locks of golden hair that fell on the sides of his head. A tangible desperation oozed out of his presence. He quickly noticed the other dwarves and said:
“Stand back or I’ll kill him!”
Aigur shot him in the head. The monk’s neck snapped back from the impact, releasing Datog. Everyone assumed the battle was over until a fist exploded out of the guildmaster’s chest, clutching his beating heart with a shimmer of mana. The elf hadn’t fallen. Did Aigur miss? No, the elf shouldn’t be alive after that. He had a bullet hole in his right temple. His wound didn’t bleed, either. It defied all logic.
“That’s not just a monk!” shouted the Archpriest, wielding his staff atop the slope. “He’s a cleric of Rigel! These fuckers like to modify their bodies, like freaks!”
“Typical follower of Wrecks!” snarled the elf. His cowl had slid back, revealing his green eyes and rectangular glasses. “Your intellect matches your height. I am a visionary! The future of elvish medicine!” He squeezed Datog’s heart with a maniacal grin. “Allow me to demonstrate!”
Datog winced in agony. He couldn’t do any sudden movements or it would risk injuring his heart. The cleric’s magic was the only thing keeping it intact.
“What do you want?” asked Urtan.
“I already have it,” said the elf, stepping back and pulling Datog with him. “Let me walk away and you might get to see him again.”
“Like hell you will!” shouted Datog.
“Agreed,” said Urtan, “that ain’t happening.”
Jryck made a wall of earth rise behind the elf. It immediately stopped them from getting away. He couldn’t make it any bigger, though. The ice and snow were interfering too much. Aigur kept his aim steady on the elf. Shooting him again would only escalate things further. Sure, they could always revive Datog later, but only if his body remained somewhat intact. They also didn’t have many divine shards to spare. Their use had to be avoided as much as possible.
The Archpriest jumped off the slope and headed straight at the elf. Urtan and Aigur were stunned by the act. The Archpriest hadn’t done anything that reckless in all of their journey.
Even the monk didn’t see it coming. He let go of Datog with a flustered wail and sprinted off in a different direction. Aigur shot him successfully a few times, but they didn’t slow him down as he made his escape. By the time Jryck erected another wall, the monk had jumped off a ledge. There wasn’t time to pursue him.
Datog fell on his side, bleeding more by the second. He passed out when there wasn’t an immediate threat anymore.
The Arcpriest quickly started healing him.
Urtan walked up to them. “He gonna be fine?”
“I think so,” said the Archpriest. “For some reason, that cleric made sure to keep his heart in good shape.”
“Maybe that’s what he needed.” Aigur joined them. “And why did you rush at him? Are you crazy?”
“It was a calculated risk.” The Archpriest didn’t look away from Datog, shoving the heart back into the chest cavity. “I was the only one capable of dispelling his modifications and he knew that.”
“So he left Datog alive to keep you from pursuing?” said Urtan.
“Exactly.”
“Those elves…” muttered Aigur. “I have a feeling they’re the ones behind this.”
“We’ll learn soon enough,” said Jryck. A small tremor began when he finished his sentence. “I think we got the tribe’s attention.”
The ground split open and three rock elementals leaped out of the fissure. They hunched over with feral growls, ready to fight anyone in front of them.
Jryck calmed them down before they attacked. None of the dwarves understood their conversation. It just sounded like low rumbling and creaking to them. Jryck looked progressively disturbed as they spoke, glancing back at the expedition party every few seconds. Urtan worried that they might actually be at war. They didn’t stand a chance in these circumstances, not without Datog and the Archpriest. Were they about to be prisoners? Jryck returned to the dwarves and said:
“The situation is more complicated than I imagined.”
“Why? What’s going on?”
“The city was attacked by an imperial legion. Bork started the earthquake in self-defense, to buy time for the tribe to escape. They can’t help Forgeberth…”
“What?!?” shouted Urtan, looking at the tribe members for an answer. “Why?!?”
The three rock elementals stayed quiet.
“We should go now,” said Jryck. “They’re not exactly thrilled by the presence of dwarves.”
“That’s… There’s plenty of time to discuss that! We can’t just leave now! Where’s Bork? I want to talk to him!”
“That’s not possible anymore.”
Urtan narrowed his eyes. “Why?”
“Because he’s dead.”
+++++++++
+++++++++
“Now,” said Rhangyl, “I don’t want anything happening to you fine gentlemen, but my friend here isn’t as forgiving. You were kidnapping his sister, after all.”
Amaranth crossed his arms, leaning against the wall. “They’re already dead, as far as I’m concerned.”
The soldiers freaked out at his serious tone.
“Wait,” said Rhangyl, “please, let me convince them.”
“Forget it! It’s obvious they’re not cooperating!”
Rhangyl glanced at the soldiers. “He’s serious. I can’t really stop him if he chooses to kill you.”
The soldiers whimpered in tears, too scared to form a coherent sentence. Rhangyl didn’t expect an answer from them right now, but he wanted to drill fear into their souls before letting them stew in it. They would eventually see the benefits of cooperation.
Amaranth stormed out of the room. “I’m getting the gun!”
“Don’t!” Rhangyl feigned to chase after him but stopped at the door, making eye contact with all the soldiers. “I’ll try to buy some time. If you don’t speak up by the time he returns, though…” He swallowed with a grim expression. “Well, hopefully, you lot are important enough to revive… right?”
The soldiers begged for mercy as Rhangyl closed the door. That should work. Fifteen, maybe twenty, minutes of uncertainty would remind them of their priorities. In the meantime, Rhangyl needed to finish his conversation with George. Bringing up the topic of Myrin felt inappropriate during their heart to heart. Doing so would’ve made his words ring hollow, like he was merely placating George’s insecurities to get his consent. The longer Rhangyl waited, though, the harder it became to discuss.
Ownership of a business was a serious matter, even if it was only a minority stake. George might walk away from their partnership if he didn’t feel comfortable enough with a third party. Rhangyl wouldn’t force him, either. He would rather find another way to flee the empire than coorce George into trusting Myrin. There wasn’t any point in avoiding it any longer. No matter what decision the human made, it was out of Rhangyl’s hands. Clinging to an outcome would only hinder their progress.
George currently trained with Dalura and Lance in the backyard. The dragon easily deflected normal bullets from a revolver and his scales were too tough to penetrate without magic so he wasn’t in any danger. Not that they ever stood a chance in a real scenario. The difference in experience was evident by how fluidly Lance moved around the two of them. He could probably go faster if he wished. Rhangyl had cast a silence spell over the backyard to suppress the gunfire, but it could still be heard within the house’s perimeter. As he made his way outside, he slowly began to notice the damage they had already inflicted on the garden. Torn flowers, mud holes, even the wood shed was riddled with bullets.
Rhangyl didn’t care anymore. He had made peace with the fact that this wouldn’t be his home anymore. At least, that’s what he told himself. The century of memories attached to this house were hard to ignore.
The party members quickly noticed his presence, stopping their training. George and Dalura panted heavily, struggling to catch their breath. Lance didn’t look the least bit strained. As Rhangyl grew nearer, he heard the dragon say:
“Well done! Your reactions are improving!”
“T-they are…?” said George.
“Yes, you might not notice it, but your body is moving slightly ahead of your mind. Acting without thought is a vital skill in combat. It is a sign of mastery in any craft.”
George nodded with earnest resolve. “Fair enough, thanks!”
“And you,” Lance pointed at Dalura, “your fundamentals are rusty. It’s obvious you’re comfortable with a hammer, but you rely on geomancy a lot. Be careful it doesn’t turn into a crutch. If you ever find yourself without a steady supply of earth…”
“I’ll die…” said Dalura, dreading the realization. “You’re right. I haven’t practiced in months.”
“Then try to work on that.” Lance smiled at Rhangyl. “I think we’re done for today. Let’s eat!”
Rhangyl chuckled. “Sure, I already restocked the kitchen.”
Lance sprinted into the house without another word. Dalura went after him to make sure he didn’t take everything for himself. George shook his head with a wistful smile before following them. Rhangyl then stopped him, saying:
“Hold on, before we join the others, there’s something we need to discuss.”
George paused, curious. “Sure, what’s up?”
“It’s about our shop in Kolt. In order to get the money we need… I had to make a deal. The president of the merchant’s guild wants a minority stake in our business. We also need his help to leave the empire. He wants to meet you at the banquet, but-”
“Okay, fine.”
Rhangyl squinted. “Erm... did you hear me?”
“We need an investor. Makes sense. I’d like to meet him too.”
“I uhh… Huh. Okay. You sure about this?”
“Do we have a better option?”
“Not… really…”
“Then it’s settled!” George chortled. “Why were you so nervous?”
“Well, I fought tooth and nail to shave off a few percentages of Myrrin’s ownership stake.” Rhangyl shrugged and walked into house, amused. “I guess I’m kind of shocked you don’t care. Your tepid reaction is the opposite I would’ve had if the roles were reversed.”
+++++++++
+++++++++
Cithrel contemplated the sunset while overlooking the lake. It had been a busy day of work, arranging everything for the banquet tomorrow. Kovlar didn’t attempt anything else after the incident yesterday. Cithrel suspected she hadn’t seen the last of his plots, however. She supervised every single decorator, caterer, and gardener they hired, making sure none were agents of the emperor. Lilac also stayed inside all day, working with Yun behind closed doors. She acted much more cooperative than before, even smiling for the first time in months. Cithrel didn’t know the cause of this change, but she wasn’t about to question it. There was also the matter of how Lilac freed herself from her captors. The dagger found on the corpse left behind wasn’t a standard issue one. It was a human design. Sure, a royal guardsman might sometimes carry unorthodox equipment, but it was still an odd thing to see on them.
Whatever. Cithrel’s responsibilities carried too many worries. She couldn’t start acting paranoid over every extraneous detail when they didn’t immediately make sense. Plius hadn’t reported back in days, though. His troop showed up in Luye last night, claiming he struck a deal with Eris to detain the criminals. Yun wouldn’t enjoy hearing that. Cithrel kept it a secret for now. At least it ensured Rhangyl and his companions were still in Arcadia. There’s no way they overcame the power of a god. Cithrel needed to forget about them and focus on the problem ahead.
Reports of a powerful storm approaching the area had reached her ears. This wouldn’t be cause for alarm if it hadn’t appeared so suddenly. Since it wasn’t the appropriate season for this weather, Cithrel had to assume its origins weren’t entirely natural. Kovlar certainly had the resources to arrange something of this magnitude. He wouldn’t sit idle tomorrow, that much was obvious.
Cithrel sighed. After fighting Wob, doubts plagued her mind. Sure, she won the duel, but only by a slim margin. The only times she had been that close to defeat were back when she was an amateur. Feeling that helpless over another person was a new experience. She couldn’t allow her blade to waver again, for Lilac's sake. Not after making it this far. Fight after fight, Cithrel struck down all who stood in her way, but it never brought her peace, only enemies. Things would be different this time. Cithrel wasn't worth anything without her skill. That's why she retired from dueling in the first place. If she was going to wager her life in battle, it had to be for a goal bigger than mere praise. Being accepted despite her plebian heritage would finally end her turmoil... right? And if she got to marry Lilac...
...she would finally be an Areneiros, the only family she knew.
Cithrel snapped out of her daydream. The sun finished setting by the time she returned to the mansion. Her time alone grounded her anxious mind, if only for a few minutes. She couldn’t stay too far from Lilac now without fearing the worst. As she went upstairs, however, something interesting caught her attention. Cithrel’s pocket mirror was receiving a call.
Finally!
A wave of relief flooded her system. It felt too good to be true. Cithrel had been waiting for days to see that call. The only person who could contact her through that mirror was… Henthil.
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[Beginning | Previously]
Hello, everyone! It's been a while, huh? Well, firstly: Happy Holidays and a very Merry Christmas to all! It's been a rough year for everyone, but do try to find some cheer where you can get it, okay? Life is meant to be lived, so please, as much as you can…live it!
Anyway, without further ado, here is chapter 5! It's a short one, but hey, if you're impatient, there are options…
D.A.N.I.
DANI might have been entrusted to make important decisions in life-or-death emergencies, but ultimately he answered to the crew via the Crew Council…and naturally the Council wanted to know exactly what had happened. One of the captain’s many duties was to be the chair and Speaker of the council chambers. She even had the executive authority to veto motions if she deemed it in the best interests of the ship’s mission.
Ultimately, however, it was still a democratic system, and that meant it was full of…interesting personalities who collectively had their hand on the very literal switch that could sever DANI from Dandelion’s systems at any time if they deemed it necessary. When people like that demanded to be brought up to speed on recent events, DANI did not argue. His report had begun with a brief summary of the type of object they’d so narrowly dodged, and the measures he’d taken to avoid it. Now he was recounting the total resource expenditure.
“Three-point-four-one million kilograms of water, one-point-two million kilograms of air, twenty thousand kilograms of cold propulsion gas, six hundred grams of fissile material, and two thousand launches carrying the entirety of the Ranger Corps, all Rangermasters, and their emergency colonization payloads,” he finished. “I have exhaustively scanned along the object’s approach trajectory and found no other hazards.”
Councilor Jackson was the first to speak. “And the good news?” she prompted.
DANI simulated the sound of awkwardly clearing his throat. “I apologize, Councilor. That was the good news.”
He let a moment of silence hang in the air before elaborating. “The bad news is, our approach to Newhome is ruined. We are now in an entirely wrong orbit and at this point it won’t matter how long we burn the engines; they just don’t have enough thrust to restore our trajectory. I have been forced to calculate alternatives.”
He simulated clearing his throat again and plowed forward. “I have come up with three possible plans,” he said, and brought up a whirling simulation of the Newhome system. The bright blue dot in the middle represented Dandelion, and he sent three bright lines racing ahead of it to curve around the outer planets. “Course Alpha, the fastest and most aggressive plan, will return us to Newhome orbit in six years.”
Dismayed gasps filled the air. He let the shock settle in, then continued.
“Unfortunately, this approach leaves no margin for error. If anything at all goes wrong and we are forced to take evasive action again, or if we miss a scheduled burn, Dandelion will either be drawn into this gas giant here”—he indicated it with a red pulse and split the projected path to show various calamities—“with obviously disastrous consequences, or else drift off into interstellar space, having completely exhausted our water fuel reserves, and therefore with no hope of ever returning.”
For the second line, the view pulled far out until the orbiting worlds filled only a comparatively small part of the simulation. “At the other end of the spectrum is Course Bravo, the most conservative and efficient approach, which involves rendezvousing with and mining an icy body in the outer system, completely replenishing our water reserves for the trip back in. This leaves us with a maximum margin for error in the event of future emergencies…but it will take us fifty-four years to make Newhome orbit.”
More muttering, and plenty of shaking heads. “I think you will agree this is not an ideal solution,” he said drily, and was relieved when a few small chuckles and laughs cut through the tension. “Fortunately there is a third option, which I think may be the best balance between caution and alacrity.”
He highlighted it in bright green. “Course Charlie involves a prolonged burn here.” He pulsed on the map. “We will expend a considerable amount of our water fuel, but that will allow us to slingshot around this other gas planet, and specifically around its third moon, a water ice body similar to Europa back in Sol. A quick fly-by water mining operation should allow us to return to Newhome in eight years, while replenishing much of our expended fuel in case we’re fired upon again.”
He waited anxiously as silence swept the hall and lingered for long seconds before Councilor Hayes finally broke it.
“Fired upon? You…think we were attacked?”
DANI sighed. This was the moment of truth.
“Yes, Councilor,” he said. “I do.”
“Your proof?” Hayes asked.
DANI pantomimed a few seconds of solemn contemplation before he spoke, as though gathering his words carefully. “To be completely truthful, Councilor, any near-miss event like this will always be more likely to be an attack than not.”
A few of the councilors nodded, the ones who had a better grasp of the scale involved. Most of the others frowned at him or whispered among themselves. Hayes simply inclined his head.
“Explain,” he said.
Although DANI could, when pressed, think far faster and more rationally than any human, he usually didn’t. Most of the time he simulated being an otherwise ordinary person and processed his thoughts in much the same way as any human. First came his intuition, a gut reaction, a feeling about what he wanted to say. Then came judgment based on his feelings and intuitions, and finally he came up with a reasoning which explained his feelings.
At this moment, however, he swung into overdrive and calculated how the conversation might play out down to every foreseeable detail, created an itemized list, and picked the optimal path from among the options in the time it took Hayes to blink. He hated doing that—it felt like cheating—but some occasions were just too important.
“Compared to a human, Dandelion is enormous,” he said carefully. “Compared to all that space out there, however”—his avatar waved a hand to indicate the empty black infinity that was the whole rest of the universe—“we are very small indeed. So small that for us to be in the same place as anything else at any given time takes serious, deliberate effort. If I had not performed minor course-corrections with every day’s thrust phase throughout the voyage, we would have missed the Newhome system entirely, never mind the planet itself. You all know this, of course.”
There were nods all around the room. Everybody on Dandelion had learned the basics of their ship’s interstellar journey early in their life.
“So. Something very small—us—left one solar system, and two hundred and eighty-four years later we happened to find ourselves on a collision course with something even smaller at just the moment we entered arrived and began final approach,” DANI summarized. “Coincidences do not get much larger.”
“But if you didn’t know—” Councilor Mayweather began.
DANI interrupted him, “Forgive me, Councilor, but there is more. I back-tracked the object’s trajectory.”
He spun up the system simulation and tracked the object’s course right back to the surface of the system’s second planet.
“The angle and velocity at which it left the planet’s surface is consistent with a short-rail magnetic catapult. Admittedly it is also consistent with volcanic activity or an asteroid strike, but that would just layer more and more coincidences on top of an already highly improbable event.”
“Wouldn’t your telescopes detect an impact or volcano anyway?” Torres asked. DANI acknowledged her with a nod.
“Probably,” he agreed. “But in any event, I must always assume the worst. The mere fact that I suspected the object could have been a weapon compelled me to treat it as though it was a weapon.”
“Why?” Hayes inquired.
“Because if it was a weapon, but I treated it like it was just a dumb rock…who knows. Maybe it could have course corrected. Maybe it could have exploded. It did not do either of those things, but I had no way of knowing it would not, and reasonable grounds to believe it might.” DANI paused and animated a deep breath for effect. “And you can rest absolutely assured, Councilors, that humanity has developed many different weapons which could have effortlessly destroyed Dandelion, no matter how aggressively I took evasive action, or how much reaction mass I added to the equation in the form of the launches.”
That last sentence turned out to be a misstep. Humans, alas, were never quite as predictable as DANI thought.
“Reaction mass?” Councilor Mayweather looked absolutely livid and stood up, trembling with rage. “You jettisoned our children as reaction mass?”
“Evacuated,” DANI corrected him. “Happily, the lifeboat launches also gave us some extra thrust to evade the hazard—”
Mayweather interrupted him, looking thoroughly appalled. “You used our children as propellant?” he choked on the last word. “You threw our kids overboard onto an alien planet when you thought something might be shooting at us?”
He turned to Torres, looking utterly furious. “Captain, I move we take a vote of no confidence in DANI and curtail his executive functions.”
Several of the other councilors stood up and started shouting as well. Most leapt to DANI’s defense, but at least half a dozen were on Mayweather’s side. DANI calmed himself by calculating Pi to several million digits—a human would have taken a deep and cleansing breath—and waited. He’d anticipated something like this, but it still hurt.
Captain Torres finally managed to calm everybody down by beating her gavel so hard on her desk that the old oak surface took a few dents. The rabble subsided, until only Mayweather and a few of his loudest supporters were still on their feet.
“DANI,” Torres said once order had been restored, “do you have anything to say in your defense?”
DANI gave her a grateful look and summoned the words he had carefully assembled during the hubbub.
“Option one,” he said, “was not to launch the lifeboats at all. In which case, if the ship had been destroyed, your children would have died with the rest of us.
“Option two,” he continued over the objections of Councilor Mayweather and his supporters, “was to launch the lifeboats empty and recall them once the danger was past. This suffers from the same problem as option one—it might not have been enough, and your children would have died onboard along with everybody else.
“Option three: I could have launched the lifeboats with your children on board, then recalled them. But if we are shot at again, Councilors, we will be right back to square one, and we will not be within evacuation range of Newhome next time.”
He let them digest those options for just a heartbeat.
“I chose,” he finished, “option four. I saved your children’s lives and completed Dandelion’s primary mission by delivering a viable population of colonists to the target planet. By a happy coincidence, this course of action also maximized your own odds of survival, so I beg your pardon, Councilor, but no, I did not ‘use your children as propellant’—I made use of the opportunity this presented to ensure that you will, hopefully, live to see them again…or if you don’t, to ensure they will live.”
There was a clanging silence. Councilor Mayweather gave DANI’s avatar a long, shaky look, then sat down quite abruptly without another word.
Captain Torres stood up to replace him. She looked around at the councilors, then directed a fearsome, level stare at the camera drones and the hundreds of thousands of Dandelion crewpersons watching from all over the ship.
“DANI’s first responsibility is to the mission,” she reminded them all. “His duty is to maximize the chance of mission success and minimize the risk of mission failure. He’s quite right—thanks to his actions, Dandelion’s mission is already a success; we are alive, and most importantly our children are alive. Councilor Mayweather, with respect to your feelings, I exercise my authority to veto your motion.”
“Understood, Captain.” Mayweather sighed. Torres softened slightly.
“Antony, I won’t see my husband for at least eight years,” she reminded him. “Walker went with the kids. We’ll be getting downright old by the time we see each other again; do you really think I like this, either? But DANI still has my full confidence, and he should still have yours.”
“Thank you, Captain,” DANI said softly. “I will do my best to be worthy of it.”
The chamber was silent for a few long seconds before Torres cleared her throat and straightened her back.
“Is eight years really the best we can do?” she asked.
“It’s the best balance between speed and caution,” DANI repeated. “I appreciate that separating parents from their children for so long is a lot to ask, but if somebody shoots at us again, I want to be able to dodge again.”
“You’re entirely convinced it was an attack?” Councilor Hayes asked. “I know you’ve made the case for probability, but…for something to be waiting here ready and willing to shoot at us as we arrive seems just as unlikely.”
Councilor Jackson nodded emphatically. “Anything with the technology to shoot at us would want to take a good look at us first, wouldn’t it?” she asked.
Hayes shook his head. “That’s a big assumption, Kayla. It’d have to be an alien of some kind, so who knows how it thinks?”
“And who says it didn’t get a good look at us first?” Torres asked.
DANI cleared his throat and answered Hayes’ question. “It might be going too far to say that I’m convinced, Councilor…I mean, ‘convinced’ is such a strong word.” A scattering of dry though slightly nervous chuckles swept the chamber. “But we should assume the worst and hope for the best. If another hazard comes our way, we’ll know we’re being shot at.”
“And…if we are?” Jackson asked.
Torres answered her while DANI was still calculating his reply. “Then I for one am very glad the children are no longer aboard,” she said firmly. Nods bobbed around the room. She stood from her desk and strode to the middle of the chamber.
“Thank you, DANI. Councilors, there will be many difficult decisions to make over the coming days and weeks,” she said. “The Department of Population Control must weigh the possibility that we really were attacked and whether we can justify continuing to have new babies as we conclude our voyage. The Department of Resource Management needs to prepare for the next eight years. Counseling must be made available to parents who couldn’t go with their children…For now, however, if somebody would please move that we commit to following DANI’s Course Charlie and begin to plan accordingly?”
Jackson stood up. “I so move,” she declared.
Hayes took to his feet as well. “Seconded.”
Torres thanked them both with a nod, then addressed the rest of the councilors, “As many of that opinion, say aye?”
A sullen, but unanimous cry of “aye” went quietly around the chamber.
“And against?”
Silence.
“The ayes have it. DANI, make it so.”
Relief flooded DANI’s system for a microsecond. “Aye, aye, Captain.”
He turned his attention away from proceedings to make his course corrections.
The biggest concern was water. Quite aside from being there for the crew to drink and clean with, it was both their fuel and their shield against the harmful radiation forever slicing through the cosmos. Dandelion fused ordinary distilled water, extract energy very efficiently from it, and use that energy to power the engines.
In the emergency, he’d also flash-boiled enormous volumes and vented the steam. Doing so had produced far more thrust than the main engines did all by themselves, but it had decimated their reserve. He was going to need to replenish, and do so cautiously. If they were under fire, he needed every liter of reserve water in case a second shot came their way.
Gently, slowly, he started bringing the nose around to align Dandelion along its new thrust axis. Completing that rotation would take nearly two days, but that was probably for the best. People were going to need time to adjust.
He was distracted from his thoughts by a voice from the council chamber.
“DANI.”
Councilor Mayweather had slipped away to one of the ship terminals at the edge of the chamber to speak privately. DANI really wasn’t in the mood to speak with him, but the look on Mayweather’s face convinced him to at least give the man a chance. There was a healthy degree of shame there.
“Yes, Councilor?”
“I’m sorry.”
DANI blanked on how to reply. He simply hadn’t foreseen a straightforward apology, or at least, not so soon.
Mayweather filled the silence. “I crossed the line just then. I let my feelings get the better of my judgment, and…I’m sorry,” he repeated lamely. “I feel like a heel.”
“I confess, your call for a vote of no confidence was hurtful,” DANI confided. “I appreciate your apology, but…” Frankly he was still much too sore to give Mayweather his forgiveness just yet.
“I know. And…I understand if you don’t roll over and forgive me just because I said sorry.” Mayweather sighed. “But I still am.”
“What brought it on, then, may I ask?” DANI inquired.
“I…I didn’t get to say goodbye to Arianna. She’ll be an adult by the time I see her again, and…” Mayweather went very quiet. In that moment, DANI felt, he looked even older than he was.
If DANI had still been projecting an avatar, it would have hung its head at that point. Instead he poured sympathy into his tone of voice.
“I will try to accept your apology in due time, Councilor,” he promised. “And I would like to rebuild our positive relationship.”
“I’d like that too.” Mayweather cleared his throat miserably, then seemed to think of something. “A-are they…okay?”
DANI focused. In the hours since their departure, the lifeboats had accelerated at an incredible rate and were now flashing across the Newhome system, bent on delivering their precious cargo as quickly as possible. They’d decelerate just as fiercely as they fell in toward humanity’s new world, and the children on board were probably having an utterly miserable time of it, but nothing was outside of what it should be.
“All of the lifeboats are functioning perfectly,” he assured Mayweather. “The first one should make landfall in about five days.”
“And…what happens then?”
“Then, Councilor,” DANI said, “human civilization on Newhome will begin.”
Amber Houston
“C’mon sleepy head, wake up!” Amber woke to Roy pawing at her shoulder and bouncing heavily to his feet. “Gotta do jumping jacks!”
Out of habit, Amber let out a reluctant groan as she sat up, but the truth was she felt well-rested and energized. Her body was still a little sore from the high-G pounding it had endured for several hours yesterday, but she’d slept incredibly well, considering her bed was a thin roll on a metal deck. She stretched out and clambered to her feet.
She glanced at the countdown: ninety minutes. She’d been asleep for six hours.
“Jumping jacks?”
“Yup! We’re gonna spend eight hours in the couches, so we need exercise!”
“Don’t we need breakfast?”
“That comes after. Come on!”
To be fair, between them, Walker and the twins managed to get everyone thoroughly exercised and eager to sit down just in fifteen minutes. Amber could see the logic. The next few hours were going to be punishing, and the routine was going to last for probably days. They needed to move, or else it would be ten times worse.
But she was beyond glad when they finally finished.
Her breakfast pack turned out to be scrambled eggs with bacon and an English muffin. The “eggs” were kind of a chewy yellow log, but at least the packed-in blueberry granola bar and cinnamon toaster pastry were nice.
She was cleaning her fingers with a wet wipe when Walker did the rounds to check that everybody had eaten everything, including the hated “eggs.”
“Everyone, wipe down as best you can, we need to keep hygienic,” he ordered. “That goes double for you two, McKays.”
Roy objected straight away, “I always keep clean!”
“Good! Keep it that way.” Walker grinned, “We’re all going to be rank enough by the time we get there anyway.”
Nikki grumbled to herself quietly, but did as she was told.
Fifteen minutes of exercise and half an hour for breakfast left forty-five minutes before they had to be back in their couches. That was deliberate; with a whole troop on board, they needed that time to make sure everybody used the only toilet, a cramped little stall at the back of the launch that even Amber found claustrophobic. She had no idea how Roy or Walker squeezed themselves inside.
She spent the rest of her time wandering around the deck to keep her legs stretched and thinking, up until the moment she spotted the cluster of kids gathered around the command couch at the front, gazing out the forward canopy.
She joined them and lost herself for a little while in staring at the stars.
They were so different from city lights, or the little glowing stickers on her bedroom ceiling. They were…hard to describe to herself, actually. Each one was so tiny that she couldn’t really grasp it, like her eye knew something was there, but she couldn’t put a width to what she was seeing.
There were patterns, too. In front of the light dusty trail of the galaxy, a few of those stars burned prouder and brighter, and she spent a while tracing imaginary lines between them, trying to spot the images they made.
Floyd Harris seemed to have the best knack for it. He’d point and sketch lines with his finger and name a constellation like it was effortless. There was Rover the Dog, Bruce the Bat, the Bottle…he picked out one that looked remarkably humanoid and proudly declared that he was naming it after DANI.
“I kinda doubt DANI will want a constellation named after him,” Walker commented at that one, and made them all jump. For such a solid man, he could be incredibly quiet at times.
“Can I call it Walker, then?” Floyd asked.
Walker was clearly touched, but he shook his head. “Better not. Let’s wait and see before we name things after people, okay? Is everyone clean? All used the toilet?”
The kids all gave honest replies along the lines of “Yes, sir,” and Amber nodded.
“Good. We sit down in ten minutes. If there’s anything you need to sort out before then, go do it. Okay?” He gave Amber a nod that clearly communicated she was in charge of the young ones and continued on his rounds.
“Anybody?” Amber asked.
“When are we going back to the ship, Amber?” Rose asked.
Remembering her promise to Walker, Amber decided against telling them the whole truth…but she didn’t bluff or lie, either. “I talked with Walker about that. He’s waiting to hear more from DANI. In the meantime, let’s get strapped in,” she said, which seemed to be enough for now.
Getting them all settled and ready, making sure their clothes were smoothed out under them so no wrinkles or seams would press into them, and doing the same for herself was good, honest work, but it didn’t distract her from her thoughts. She traded hugs with the twins as they sat down, and Walker returned to the front, but again didn’t comment when she heard Danish musing on when they were going to turn around.
In fact, she realized as the higher-gravity acceleration resumed and an elephant settled on her chest, she was beginning to be glad they wouldn’t.
• • •
A few hours later, mostly she was just hoping for a distraction.
Being able to see the countdown that told her when their three-G torture would end and she’d have another spell of normal gravity to enjoy was a torment all its own. It seemed to be counting down with a kind of malice, being far too slow while she watched it, and barely moving at all when she didn’t.
About four hours in, Roy finally provided the longed-for distraction.
“Hey, Amber?”
Amber tore her eyes away from the glacial clock. “Hmm?”
“I’ve been thinking.”
Despite the grinding discomfort, Amber still found it in her to tease him a bit. “A dangerous pastime.”
He shook his head gently, though a smile touched his face. “You studied orbital mechanics a bit, right?”
“Yeah?”
“I’ve been thinking ahead to when we land. How long we’re gonna be down there. You know? Before the ship catches up with us.”
Amber shrugged as well as she could manage in her restraints and the gravity load. “That depends on what happened, how hard DANI maneuvered, in what direction…If he completely spoiled the approach, it could be…I don’t know.”
“Years,” Nikki interjected in a dull voice.
Amber gave a shallow nod again. “Yeah. Could be.”
The twins were silent for a few seconds before Nikki finally gave voice to what they were probably both feeling.
“Well…crap.”
“Yeah,” Roy agreed fervently.
Amber shrugged again. “No sense worrying about it. Que sera, sera.”
“Kay what-now?”
“It means, ‘whatever will happen, will happen,’” Amber explained, and shut her eyes. Maybe she could sleep away the hours instead of clock-watching. She was beginning to get a serious headache, and her limbs were being slowly but relentlessly pummeled by their own exaggerated weight. There was nothing to do except lie back and try to endure it.
Maybe she succeeded a little bit, too, because she lost track of the conversation as the twins mulled over the ramifications of maybe making groundfall rather than their original life plans. Nikki showed some of her nervous habits; she drummed her fingers and asked all sorts of rhetorical questions, mostly in hushed tones so as not to annoy the other Rangers nearby. She fretted about their parents a lot.
Roy settled into something…stoic. He mostly nodded along and kept his own counsel. His usual exuberance around friends was thoroughly absent, for now.
Although the details got hazy and blurry and Amber couldn’t recall them afterwards, she was jolted back out of her half-doze and into the present by a sudden burst of characteristic Roy optimism, though it sounded a bit forced.
“Well, it’s not all bad. I bet we get to eat steak every day after this!”
Nikki snorted. “Yeah, good luck getting any when we land.”
“Hush, you. There’s gonna be something we can eat. Fish maybe!”
“Guys,” Amber groaned. Everything ached. “Please don’t start a tussle now…”
Roy looked a little hurt by that. “Amber, you know me better than that. Tussles are for play. This ain’t playtime.”
Amber opened her eyes and gave him a suffering look. “No. Sorry. I just…”
“You’ve got a splitting headache, and you can’t breathe properly,” Nikki finished for her. She leaned over as far as her restraints would allow and laid a hand that felt as heavy as an iron bar on Amber’s shoulder in the closest thing she could manage to a hug. “We know.”
“Here.” Roy looked at the mission clock, then Walker. “Permission to stand up?”
“What for?” Walker asked.
Roy gestured toward the medicine cabinet. “Amber’s got a headache, an’ there’s low-dose aspirin in there for exactly this.”
Walker nodded. “Granted. Give some to everyone over twelve,” he ordered.
“Blood thinner?” Roy asked. Amber nodded shallowly to herself, as much as her neck support would permit. The lifeboat’s seats had massagers built in, and the one-G rest breaks were there so they could stand up and avoid nasty things like bed sores and blood clots…but one of aspirin’s useful side-effects was to thin the blood, which would help with those problems and their headaches.
Walker nodded again “Yup.”
“Will do, boss.” Roy reached above his head, pulled down his pack without much effort, and pulled out one of his special bars. He looked at it, wrinkled his nose, ripped open the package, and demolished the whole thing in a few efficient bites, chasing it down with his whole water canteen.
The bars were a little something DANI handed out to all the outerdeck engineers. Amber had no idea why anyone would ever want to eat them. They tasted unpleasantly like nothing but pure whey protein, and the texture was just…gummy and chewy, in the least appetizing way. Sure, they were full of energy and such, but they really weren’t fun to eat.
Roy clearly didn’t enjoy it much, either. But it seemed to do something important for him, perhaps helped psych him up for the work ahead. He sat still for a minute, maybe waiting for the bar to do…whatever it was it did. In any case, when he was ready, he nodded over at Walker, who nodded back. With care, Roy unhooked his restraints and scooted forward in his couch until he was perched on the edge.
Once his feet were firmly underneath him, he planted his hands on either side of his hips and heaved himself upright with a satisfied grunt. He bounced heavily in place to stretch for a moment, then picked his way over to the medicine cabinet with a cautious, practiced gait. If it was a strain, he did a good job of hiding it as he shuffled across the deck like he’d done this a hundred times before, and regained confidence with every step.
By the time he thumped back to Amber, Roy’s goofy grin and intrinsically bouncy nature had firmly reasserted itself. He held out a couple of small pills and a water pouch. “Drink it all, okay?”
Amber nodded, and Roy went about his work. It was…impressive to watch. His usual goofiness was there, but this time it was a mask to disguise his concentration on the task at hand. What he was doing was dangerous, after all; a fall in three G meant nobody would be able to help him, not even Walker. He had once tried to shuttle Roy in a fireman’s carry, and only barely managed to make it twenty-five meters…and that was on the biodeck in one G. Roy had grown considerably since then, too. All that was clearly on his mind because he was careful, confident, focused on the risks and the task at hand…and managed it handily.
Amber realized just how lucky they were. Right now, in this situation, Roy was the only one who could deal with the crushing gravity they were under and fix any problems that came up. Walker could probably stand up in short doses, and Nikki probably would have been just as mobile in slightly lower gravity, though she looked like she was kicking herself for not being able to help more…
But Amber felt a stab of sympathy for all the lifeboats who didn’t have a Roy on board. As awful as this ride was, it would have been far worse without him cheerfully making the floor creak under his big bare feet as he passed out the painkillers.
He also re-checked everyone’s harnesses individually and re-cinched their packs down—he was almost too short and had to stand on his toes at each couch. He even climbed up and across the maintenance ladder to the top of the Launch without obvious effort, all so he could lock down a window shade that had vibrated loose. The sun was blazing through and dazzling Kelly, for whom Roy had always had a soft spot.
That done, he looked around idly, giving Amber the impression he didn’t really want to return to his seat just yet and was looking for anything else to do.
Her suspicion turned out to be on the money when he grinned happily down at Walker. “Anything else?” Roy was clearly enjoying his respite from the crash couch.
“Not that I can see,” Walker replied. “Get yourself seated again, please.”
“Okay!”
He climbed back across the ceiling and down the wall, confident and strong as always. Once down, he sauntered back over to his crash couch with a huge grin, a bit of showmanship, and plenty of his playfully macho swagger on display. The kids ate it up and the mood lifted considerably. Roy was like a protective big brother to everyone on the team, and couldn’t stand seeing anyone feeling down.
He looked like he wanted to show off a little more, too, but a raised eyebrow from Walker said all that needed to be said—not the time for play. Chuckling ruefully, Roy lowered himself back into his crash couch with a quiet, satisfied sigh that was barely loud enough for Amber to hear, and swore under his breath.
“Are you okay?” Nikki whispered.
“Yeah! Good exercise!” Roy panted and mopped the sweat from his face but grinned back at her reassuringly. “Don’t worry ‘bout me. Felt good to help!”
Amber smiled at him, then checked the mission clock. To her quiet delight, it had ticked down much more than she’d thought.
With nothing better to do, she closed her eyes again and tried to sleep some more. There were four more days of this ahead of her. She had no choice but to endure it and save her energy.
She was going to need it.
Did you enjoy it? As I said at the beginning, we intend to publish the entire story free-to-read over the coming months. That said, if you're impatient…

You could order the eBook from Amazon, and skip the wait. There's a hardcover and paperback version available too. It's also available from Indiebound, Barnes and Noble, and other retailers of quality books. Finally, the book can be ordered at any local bookstore by ISBN: 978-1-7358787-0-6 for the hardcover, 978-1-7358787-2-0 if you prefer paperback.

In any case, we're simply happy to share the story with you, and we think you'll like it very much indeed.
Anyway. Thank you very much for your attention and time. It means a lot to me, it really does.
Thank you.
[To Chapter 6]

Someone requested some SI fics, but I didn’t want to flood that discussion with them, so here they are. If anyone has others they want to recommend I’m sure they’ll appreciate it! Thanks to everyone on this who have recommended fics since some of them will probably be on here.
Here are the ones I know of and I’ll also add some that I haven’t read already.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6749873/1/A-Cage-of-Blood-and-Circumstance - ‘You've been inserted into the body of someone in Konoha. Do you become a Ninja; killing others and likely dying, or run and live? An OC-insert into one of the worst possible people in the Narutoverse – Hyūga Hinata. AU. No bashing or serious relationships. INDEFINITE HIATUS.’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13105621/1/A-Second-Chance - ‘Yoshino Nara died after giving birth and her ending led to a quirky workaholic being given a second chance at life. This time, she was going to be happy. She just had to make sure to properly pull off the amnesia act. Slightly AU, Nara-centered. OC/SI.’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12785051/1/A-Snake-in-the-Garden-庭のスネーク - ‘Life as a Ninja wasn't easy. The consequences outweighed the benefits and sometimes there was no gray area. [Semi SI-OC] Orochimaru's daughter.’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10389046/1/Ain-t-It-Fun - ‘She knew that mixing Uchiha blood and Hyuuga blood was "supposed" to result in the child having the Sharigan in one eye and the Byakugan in the other, but the theory of genetics disagreed. Guess who was right? Uchiha/Hyuuga, Dual Dojutsu-SI-OC. AU. Itachi/SI-OC.’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13670172/1/beloved-once - ‘"She had thought she would spend the whole day wondering where she went wrong. Instead, Itachi's tired eyes reflected her own." The night of the Uchiha Massacre, Uchiha Miho perished under the hand of her brother. She didn't expect to wake up, much less as an infant - again. (SI!OC who tried and failed… and now had the unwelcome chance to try again.)’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10917624/1/Cold-waters - ‘Life was always dangerous when you had inherited a doujutsu. Especially if you happened to be born to an unwed mother far away from the lands of your father. OC Self-insert’ Oneshot
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13338339/1/Compass-of-thy-Soul - ‘Being reborn into the Uchiha clan during the Warring Clans Era is surprisingly idyllic, so long as you don't mind hard work and are too young to know any of the people who are actually dying. But innocence never lasts, and trying to help family stay alive is a road strewn with a surprising number of pitfalls and last-minute diversions. [SI-OC. Fluff, politics, fix-it. No Aliens.]’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11861024/1/daisies-bloom-over-yonder-meadow - ‘"Demons aren't born, otou-sama. They're made." (And from the murky depths of your darkest mistakes, your deepest regrets and your own pitiful worthlessness, I draw my first breath.) [SI/OC, Uchiha!OC, Third War, AU]’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10268998/1/Darkened-Virtue - ‘When you are reborn in a place that you know will have a dark-like future, you want nothing more than to tweak scenarios in the timeline a little in hope of the possible better. But who says you have to stop there, or even go about it in that way? Why not do things differently? Antagonistic Self-Insert OC, Antagonist!OC, slight Obito/OC. Inspired by: Darkpetal16's "Rotted Rowan"’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13399760/1/Diamond-Spoons-Tastes-Cold - ‘In my past life, I was born with a diamond spoon in my mouth. Now, I'm born with a diamond spoon filled with slow acting poison rammed into my mouth. Thankfully, with the experience of being the sole heiress of a powerful political family, I should be equipped to handle life in its shinobi equivalent. Honestly, my life expectancy this time around does not seem promising. SI/OC’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10197993/1/Fish-Out-of-Water - ‘I read once that water is a symbol for emotions. And for a while now, I've thought maybe I drowned in both. I never once expected I would wake up in Kirgakure though. Fate must have a twisted sense of humor. [OC!Kisame's Sister SI]’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12098590/1/For-a-Chance-at-Happiness - ‘Changing the future wasn't easy. There would be a lot of lying. Deceit. Manipulation. Death. Especially if I wanted to change anything for the better. [Semi SI-OC]’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11909703/1/Guardian-Angel-of-Trouble-Twins - ‘Reincarnating as a crow was nicer than you would think... until the Trouble Twins found the summoning scroll for the Karasu. Then they grew on her and she had to save their lives. How annoying. They better gave her lots of almonds or she'll elope with the ninken summoner! - Uchiha Massacre Fix-it’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13526372/1/Iluso-del-Alma - ‘To forewarn is to forearm, Akemi knows, but with the massacre around the corner and a morality against killing limiting his options, it's going to take a lot more than warnings to protect his precious people. [semi-SI as Itachi's younger twin]’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12168740/1/It-Ends-At-Dawn - ‘She couldn't remember if she was a little girl, a grown woman, or some kind of wild beast. All she wants is what everyone wants- a purpose, a reason to be. The day she meets the man who embodies the ocean, is the day she chooses the path she will take in this life. Because it wasn't about her. Maybe it never was. Gen. SI/OC’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10930529/1/Like-Pinwheels-in-the-Wind - ‘"How funny," he finally says. "That's my name, too." [Uchiha!OC, SI OC, Second/Third War, AU]’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8139663/1/Little-Acorn - ‘One mistake. One wayward soul. Now, running around Konoha is a small, blind girl, who by all rights should not exist. What are the consequences that arise from a reincarnation that was never supposed to happen? And who knows what changes would be wrought should the memories of a past life ever be regained... — OC self-insert. Gen.’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12896773/1/Lizard-Brain - ‘Dying and living again isn't what she wanted, but what she got. Being born to a mother that is not her mother, Hikari drifts along without a real plan but the vague idea that maybe there is some fun to be had with ninja chakra magic. Rated M for later adult themes, crude language and violence. SI-OC, not canon-centric. -ON HIATUS-‘
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9030642/1/Monster - ‘Konoha made a terrible mistake. They didn't see the monster, nor did they see the one he created. SI OC’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12475018/1/nine-point-eight - ‘Uchiha Itachi chose his village over his clan, steeled his heart and chose peace over his own blood. Izumi did not. (By the natural order of things, one day a young girl would willingly lay down her life for her love, and along with it, the lives of all her kinsmen. But I was not that girl; I was not that Izumi.) [SI/OC, Uchiha!OC, AU]’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8974812/1/Pulling-The-Strings - ‘Being a ninja is hard enough when you work for the good guys, let alone when you get reincarnated into a family of psychopaths. SI’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12764447/1/Revenant - Remembering what happened before death is an inconvenient glitch in reincarnation. Being reborn as Hinata Hyuuga, in an entirely different universe? Absolutely ridiculous. With the power to change the Hyuuga clan for the better, sitting back and letting the future unfold was never an option. There were more important things than following the plot of an anime. (Hinata SI fic.)
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13716107/1/Riptide-Rain - ‘Okano Rin is a newly reincarnated soul living in Ōkura, a small village in Ame no kuni. She was content to live out her days in the meditative peace of her home's seemingly endless rainfall and the comfort of her parents' machine shop. But the world has other plans, dragging her like a riptide into a cycle of intergenerational violence. SI/OC’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9800198/1/Rotted-Rowan - ‘Not everyone can be a hero. Sometimes you have to play the villain in order to save everyone. Realistic Antagonist OC. OC SI Self-Insert Antagonistic!OC’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10498827/1/Runner - ‘"Mint is extremely invasive. Mint grows and survives, even when starved and poisoned. Better not to plant it at all." Second SI/OC quick fic, inspired by "Catch Your Breath" and "Forethought."’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10447369/1/Scarlet-Waters - ‘Being reborn into the Bloody Mist wasn't good for one's psyche. [OC SI]’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9925963/1/Spider-Thread - ‘I was never afraid of dying. I lived my life to the fullest and expected it to be cut short, all because of my dangerous profession. I expected to die young. I expected hell. What I did not expect was for this shit to happen. OC-insert.’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10117525/1/Stamping-on-Butterflies - ‘I was the first Hyuuga in five generations to be born without a Byakugan. Arranged marriages and clan conspiracies were only the start. In stamping on a few too many unsuspecting butterflies I managed to change more than I bargained for... but, I mean, the Uchiha massacre wasn't that significant, right? SI/OC’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13073325/1/Tei-悌 - ‘Tei, fraternal piety. I am the younger sister of Karatachi Yagura, future Yondaime. In between surviving third-class citizenship and helping him with his revolution-slash-election campaign, I also have to survive a Darth Thanos expy for a Sandaime, find a way to not become Haku 0.5, and deal with my chemistry teacher being reborn as Yakushi Nono. And I'm not paid. Figures.’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12848792/1/The-Bloody-Oracle-of-Kiri - ‘By the end of the Third Shinobi War, she gained a spot in most Bingo Books with various monikers attached to her name: "Poison Apple," "Bloody Princess," and "The Mad Butcher." However, a small handful of Leaf ninja had another moniker for her: "The Bloody Oracle of Kiri". (Or: An SI/OC who's already got a screwed up moral compass and fits right in with the Bloody Mist.)’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13612989/1/To-Change-Fate - ‘If only she saw the speeding car hurling towards her. If only her airbags deployed in time as the car slammed into the driver side. If only she could talk to her family one last time... (AU. OC-Insert.)’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12767951/1/The-House-of-a-Thousand-Dead-Suns - ‘Happiness is such a fickle thing, especially to those deserving of it. [OC-Insert; Post-Uchiha Massacre]’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12562970/1/To-kindle-a-Flame - ‘It takes a spark to start a fire, a spark to light a pyre and watch as the flames consume everything in their wake. But now only the ashes remain, and embers are feeble little things carried by the wind. Who knows, if fate wills it so, perhaps a stray ember will set the forest ablaze. (Rated M for swearing and violent themes). SI/OC.’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12018573/1/Trapped-Within-Foreign-Skin - ‘She was not supposed to wake up. She had made sure of it. But when she did, it was to a living skin she never imagined herself wearing. Death never scared her, but facing that which she once lost might just be even more frightening. Could she stop history from repeating itself? She already lost one, she didn't think she could lose another. OC/SI. NonCanon.’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13490148/1/Trial-by-Fire - ‘My name is Uchiha Junko and I was reborn into a clan of professional illusionists. It kind of made my already precarious reincarnation even harder to believe. OC-insert story.’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12411007/1/This-Transient-Floating-World - ‘Due to a paperwork mistake in God's waiting room, I was reincarnated with my memories intact. No pain, no gain, or so they say. But with a bit of luck, this might just turn out alright.’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11486407/1/Welcome-To-Tomorrow - ‘In which a plot is demolished because a dimple-cheeked baby gave Obito a gummy smile, and then proceeded to raise a minion army with hugs, cuddles and an assortment of saccharine treats. Uchiha SI/OC Elder Sister’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12411926/1/Whispered-Nothings - ‘In which a sick little girl changes absolutely nothing and everything. [Reborn OC]’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11984957/1/Yuki-no-Usagi-雪の兎 - ‘Never did I imagine I would be reborn into such a cruel universe, nor did I imagine I would possess such a hated bloodline limit, but fate seemed to love toying with me. OC self-insert (UNDERGOING RE-WRITE)’
https://archiveofourown.org/works/11794044/chapters/26600097 - ‘On Earth I lived as Magdalena, a girl with a professor mother and a violinist father, blessed with a musical mind. When I fell asleep, and the family with the dark hair and dark eyes woke into existence, I lived as Uchiha Sasuke. SI/OC of a young music prodigy that has recurring dreams of living as Sasuke in the Elemental Nations.’
https://archiveofourown.org/works/4733981/chapters/11447989 - ‘Being born is the most traumatic experience possible and we should all fall on our knees and thank every higher deity our minds are smart enough to erase the horrible experience at once. Unless you get reincarnated apparently.’
https://archiveofourown.org/works/13976607/chapters/32178624 - ‘Honestly, I just want to make it past thirty this go-around. Contending with Uchiha Clan Nonsense, an Orochimaru still convinced he needs my baby cousin's eyes, and the knowledge of precisely how bad all this can go, that's looking more and more out of reach by the day.’
https://archiveofourown.org/works/8024086/chapters/18371779 - ‘The ability to speak to ghosts sounded like a joke—at least it did, until it put a target on my back. Survival was at the top of the list and changing the future was laughable at best. Then I got attached, and the whole game changed. [SI/OC-Centric, AU. Slow build.]’
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22881220/chapters/54687877 - ‘"Why is it so dark in here?" She frowned. "If you are dying - don't you want to die in the open air? Beneath the stars and the light and everything good in the world?" [Feudal-Era SI/OC]’
https://archiveofourown.org/works/11963850/chapters/27053553 - ‘The past would always leave it's mark. Experiences taught lessons, some good and some bad, that could never be truly forgotten. She'd been burned before, and would never be burned again. She had made up her mind.
Being reborn wouldn't change it, either.’
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26491573/chapters/64559566 - ‘I respectfully say to those who wish to be enlightened: Do not waste your time by night or day.
Where an Edo-period kimono seamstress awakens four-years into her second life, trying to assimilate the past and present.
Hatake!SI/OC. Third War Era. AU.’
https://archiveofourown.org/works/16911441/chapters/39731172 - ‘It felt like he just blinked. One moment he lay dying in hospital, the next he had the sun glaring in his eyes, the sky blue and clear above him. SIOC.’
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27458050/chapters/67129078 - ‘By cruel trick of the fates, intervention of stupid gods, or just the apathy of an uncaring universe I find myself woken up as Orochimaru just after he had possessed a woman for his new host. Now I need to find a way to turn this hoard of sycophants and psychos into something that will not only keep me from an early grave, but also how to change it to a force of change in this messed up world.’
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26257426/chapters/63915445 - ‘A person from another planet wakes up to pain. He lives in a world that fights for very different purposes. A system cursed with an unbroken cycle of hatred. For better or for worse, his presence changes many things. He can only balance hope and fear; for when his life reaches its true end, that he can achieve Peace without Judgement and avoid Hell.’
https://archiveofourown.org/works/25452466/chapters/61733785 - ‘Normally dying would be the worst thing that could happen to someone, unfortunately for me that was only the start of the problems. Decades away from the beginning of the story I knew and looking down the barrel of one of the bloodiest conflicts this world would know, I sometimes wished I was given the choice to stay dead. SI/OC.’
Ones I Have Not Read
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10264082/1/What-Doesn-t-Kill-You - ‘...Oh wait, it did. Semi-SI.’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9358586/1/Kakashi-s-Kid - ‘I wasn't asking, but then this guy with gray hair seemed to think he'd found an answer. . . . OC Self-Insert’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12572149/1/108-Earthly-Temptations - ‘A character study into why the older generations of shinobi are harsher and less inclined to compromise. SI/OC Pre-Konoha, Warring States Period. Post-Founding. Part One, the beginnings of Sekanji Terazawa. Poison Mistress, occasional kunoichi Lady, and the aunt of Orochimaru. Part Two, the establishment of Konoha and the character of the village Founders. Part Three, the end.’
https://archiveofourown.org/works/15330582/chapters/35569950 - ‘"Who writes the bingo book? Whose dumb idea was it to call me the Iron Maiden?" [OC/Self-insert]’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10399259/1/The-Color-of-Grey - ‘There is a saying, back where I came from. "Tragedy is an exhibition of the shattered form of beautiful things." Reincarnation!SI-based-OC Set around the period of the Third Shinobi War. Eventual canon-divergence!AU.’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11712297/1/Windy-Days - ‘I suppose that being someone else really isn't all that grand. But I may as well cut out any lazy days since it's going to be a workload as this new 'Gaara'. It's hard to say if I can handle being this guy. Fem!Gaara Self-Insert.’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12405090/1/Settling-Hot-Water - ‘You wake up in a world not your own; or is it? It doesn't matter. You've come equipped with a bit of science, some modern ideas, and the plot. You decide to figure it out day to day as you go along. OC SI’
https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/snapping-turtle-naruto-si.903843/ - ‘Isobu the three-tailed turtle has been bonded to another host due to civil war. But the trouble with making a living weapon is that sometimes they can think. They can make decisions of their own. And they might be of the opinion that a leash can be pulled from either end.’
https://archiveofourown.org/works/25072597/chapters/60731272 - ‘"There was a lone red and white uchiwa fan on the building ahead. Not right. Something in my brain caught on it, and I found myself slowing down, before I stopped entirely to stare." A disaffected adult begins to have repeat lucid dreams set in the world of Naruto. It'd be less embarrassing if it were as anyone except Sasuke. A twist on the usual isekai reincarnation. SI/OC-Insert.’
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27691528/chapters/67768960 - ‘If my first life was made of rigid calculations and unshakable certainties, then my second life was its echo; a mirage, shimmering in the heat. Determining the truth had never felt quite so difficult before.
OC reincarnation fic; eventual canon divergence’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13529853/1/Thread-Plague - ‘There are worse fates than reincarnation. There are worse villages to be born in than Takigakure. There are worse specializations for a ninja than medicine. But once you have mastered the Jiongu, anything is possible. Ito Ikimono knows the horrifying power such a technique can grant, and he'll shed whatever he needs to take it; Sweat, blood, even skin. OC, Fu, Takigakure, Jiongu.’
https://archiveofourown.org/works/9037001/chapters/20576501 - ‘The stars fall like snow, like hail, like tears. Ripped away from the harsh embrace of life, I find myself adrift in a realm-between-realms, an unworld of disorder, a soup of consciousness and memory. Dark leaves blow across a blood-red sky and the keenly wailing dirge keeps rhythm as they flip and tumble. A Naruto AU Self-Insert.’
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7347955/1/Dreaming-of-Sunshine - ‘Life as a ninja. It starts with confusion and terror and doesn't get any better from there. OC Self-insert. No pairings.’
This thread will be very useful also. https://www.reddit.com/NarutoFanfiction/comments/k3e9md/si_fics/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf